Scenes with Tom Servo 1,241
[Tony, now Puma Man, flies through London for the first time as Vadinho watches.]
ServoYeah, first thing he does is poop on my car!
CACrow [as Vadinho]
Look out for the-- oh, boy, right into the propellers.
They gave him the Captain Dork costume by mistake.
[Singing to the Puma Man theme music] Pu-ma Man, he flies like a moron!
He has the project to rear project major cities.
Servo
A bird gets sucked into his engine and he goes down immediately.
Yeah, they'll find his black box and hear "DAH! WHOA HO!"
[As the Puma Man theme plays, Tony prepares to teleport to his friend Matthew while he's driving a fire truck.]
MAMike [as Gilbert Gottfried]
I'm in the fire truck for USA Up All Night.
Soundtrack by my little brother's Casio.
SAServo [as Tony]
I keep dreaming of a little man in a tiny car.
[After Kobras has been pronouncing "Puma" the British way the entire movie, the Satellite of Love crew finally gets tired of it.]
You can not escape me, Pyu-ma Man!
Oh, is that right? Dee-onald?
You're just a small... insignificant... human being!
Servo
No, no, HOO-man being... oh, wait.
[Everyone sings along with the Puma Man theme while Vadinho and Puma Man fight Kobras' henchmen.]
Dick's Red Owl, selection and service...
Servo
Snyder Drug, we're busting up prices...
When you want the flavor of bacon in a dip...
JJenni
How did Marian die?
RSReverend Snow
Didn't Eric tell you?
CACrow [as Snow]
He sat on her head.
JJenni
I think the subject's rather painful to him. I'd like to make him talk about it...
SAServo [as Snow]
Let's just say she was riddled with bullets.
JJenni
Would you mind telling me? I'd like to know.
RSReverend Snow
... It was a rainy day...
MAMike [as Snow]
And he shot her.
RSReverend Snow
She and Mickey had been working up there in the greenhouse. She left him to go back to the house for a few minutes...
CACrow [as Snow]
Then a lion jumped out and shot her. At least, that's what Eric said.
RSReverend Snow
The way we pieced it together after the accident is that...
Servo [as Snow] She got shot.
RSReverend Snow
...while she was coming down this path, apparently it began to rain very hard.
SAServo [as Snow]
Then she got dead.
RSReverend Snow
She must have run along here... we don't know of course what happened then...
MAMike [as Snow]
We should have called the police.
RSReverend Snow
Perhaps she slipped on a leaf. The base of her skull was smashed.
CACrow [as Snow]
Anyway, how are you?
[The Soultaker opens up a stopwatch, which ticks a la the opening sequence to 60 Minutes.]
Servo
I'm Ed Bradley...
[Natalie et al have been thrown from the crashed car, and she appears dead on the ground.]
She's survived by her Danskins.
. . .
[Natalie dizzily gets to her feet after the crash.]
SAServo [as Natalie/Tonya]
Whoa! Triple salchow really takes it out of you!
[The Soultaker hovers over Tommy, preparing to take her soul]
SThe Soultaker
[ominously] It's Closing Time!
Servo
Does that mean that every new beginning comes from some other beginning's end?
[The Soultaker confronts Zach at the hospital rooftop edge after a long chase scene.]
CACrow [as Soultaker]
Muhuhahahahaha! You're it!
SSoultaker
It's all over now.
Servo
Oh, ho, I wish that were true!
I'll have ten Hershey bars.
Tin Hershey bars? Those are hard to eat.
SAServo [as Critter]
I've got a "Happenings" coupon!
I've never even seen one!
[Michelle shakes her head "no."]
MAMike [as Critter]
Oh. Well, I'll have a thousand Hershey bars then, I guess.
[A bad cut makes Buz suddenly appear while two other characters are talking]
SAServo [as Buz]
I'm back!
...
MAMike [as Buz]
Anybody notice that I'm here now?
...
CACrow [as Buz]
C'mon, I just teleported here! It's impressive!
[A car pulls up next to drug-dealing Buz and a middle-aged gentleman in a suit steps out]
MAMike [as Man]
[politely] Excuse me, young man--can I get a "fix"?
[Buz starts to run away. The man gives chase.]
SAServo [as Man]
No really, I'm very high-strung and in need of some "Mary Jane" or "reefers!"
[A series of signs that read: HELP! on the way to first assignment future soldier and war-bride honeymooning ]
Servo
Oh, so he learns he enjoys violence, and be ready to kill like, a man ought a.
. . .
[While Critter accompanies himself on guitar, Michelle moves not quite to the beat, while harmonica sounds come from nowhere.]
Servo
Honey, way to play the harmonica with your ass!
So here's a puzzler: who of these two is worse at their art form?
. . .
Servo
She's dancing the specials at T.G.I. Friday's.
Well, I hope she tells us, in dance, about the Jack Daniel's grill.
. . .
[singing] But you must come down, put your feet on the ground, by and by.
Servo
[singing] You're living a lie.
[singing] You gotta come down.
Servo
[singing] You dance like a clown.
Servo
[singing] I hope that you die!
[The movie opens with scantily clad go-go dancers performing.]
Oh, I'm sorry, I'm projecting my dreams again.
. . .
Servo
Shouldn't we be in individual booths for this movie?
. . .
It's a jerk and pony marathon.
. . .
Servo
Mike, you're a human being. How come you don't have a body like that?
. . .
The Kennedy Center tribute to Judy Carne.
. . .
Ed Grimley choreographed this dance.
. . .
Servo
Why does Noam Chomsky insist these women open for him?
[Over a shot of the diner showing the word "EAT"]
Servo
They forgot the "ME".
Ah, the nights we lingered over brandy at "Eat".
Mystery Science Theater 3000 · 3,167 quotes
