Tom Servo quotes from Mystery Science Theater 3000, page 14 ... TV Quotes Database

Servo

So aging lesbian nuns run the future?

S8 Overdrawn at the Memory Bank

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[Two sailors enter the club.]

SAServo [as Maître D']

Ah yes, Mr. Geffen is expecting you.

S8 Overdrawn at the Memory Bank

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[After losing much of his oxygen during a space walk, Frank Chapman stumbles back into the ship's cockpit in a daze.]

SAServo [as Chapman, sickly]

Ohh, I'm gonna puke and it's gonna float around!

S9 The Phantom Planet

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[Chapman is being tried while two women stand off to the side]

Servo

Look! Rose and Valerie, screaming from the gallery!

S9 The Phantom Planet

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[Shot of a poor-looking werewolf running through the woods.]

Servo

No, wait! It's a gorilla!

[Close up of poor-looking werewolf mask.]

Servo

...With a dog mask on!

S9 Werewolf

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[Paul and Natalie make eye contact at a party.]

Servo

I see some really stupid children being born as a result of these two meeting.

S9 Werewolf

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Servo

Can you catch a venereal disease from a movie?

S9 Hobgoblins

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[Daphne and Nick step out of his van after having conspicuous sex in it.]

Servo

Ugh! They made love in their Chevy van and that is not alright with me!

S9 Hobgoblins

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[The screen shows the name of star Tom Bartlet]

Servo

The king of the Wisconsin Dells finally gets a movie.

S9 Hobgoblins

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[As the Hobgoblins form up together]

Servo

Meet the Hobgoblins: Frankie, Sniffles, Bounce-Bounce, and the Claw.

S9 Hobgoblins

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Servo

Emby Mellay? That's not a name, it's a bad Scrabble hand.

S9 The Touch of Satan

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[Townspeople are singing "Amazing Grace", the second time it's been used in the film.]

Servo

[singing along] "This song is in/ the public domain/ that's why we used it twice."

S9 The Touch of Satan

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[Lucinda has just murdered a police officer with a hay hook, while Melissa tries to comfort her.]

SAServo [as Lucinda]

I meant to ask him in for pie; I don't know what happened!

S9 The Touch of Satan

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[A scuba diver is seen on screen.]

Servo

This new "Cool Ranch" flavored scuba air isn't very good.

S9 Gorgo

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[After the latest attack by the British military on Gorgo's mom proves ineffective.]

Servo

Pacifist or not, Gandhi's gotta be chuckling right now.

S9 Gorgo

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Tom Servo quotes from Mystery Science Theater 3000

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