Spike quotes from My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic

Starlight Glimmer

No pony ever invited you to the school. And when you offered to help, I didn't listen. I was so worried about doing things Twilight's way, I didn't stop to think about being a good friend. I'd like to apologize for that. And offer you the job of vice headmare.

Spike

Huh?

Silverstream

Really?!

Gallus

What?!

Ocellus

Why?!

Yona

No!

Smolder

Him?!

Sandbar

Totally confused.

Smolder

Yeah. Dragons don't do pony holidays.

Spike

Sure we do! I love Hearth's Warming Eve! It's all about friends and presents and family and... presents!

Gallus

Two whole weeks without classes. How will Ocellus survive?

Twilight Sparkle

[sighs] You're absolutely right, Spike. Sometimes it is nice to get out of the library and be in the sun.

Spike

Especially when you take the library with you.

Twilight Sparkle

As the Princess of Friendship, I'd like to appoint you as Equestria's official keeper of tales!

Spike

Can you do that?

Twilight Sparkle

Eh. You are a living record of our history. Your stories can inspire and teach generations to come. If you're a statue, that's all lost.

Rockhoof

Will I ever really belong in your world?

Yona

Rockhoof Yona's friend. So Rockhoof belongs!

Spike

I just don't understand why none of your advice is helping.

Smolder

Because she's teaching you to fly like a pony instead of a dragon.

Spike

What's the difference?

Smolder

Well, we don't have feathers, for starters.

Hey there, young dragons. [coughs] Name's Sludge. How are yours tails shaking?

Spike

You're hurt and need help. So I'm taking you to Twilight's castle whether you like it or not.

Castle, eh? [groans]

Dragons take care of themselves. I don't need help from a bunch of castle-living ponies.

Spike

I was orphaned as an egg and Twilight raised me. So these ponies are more than my friends, they're my family."

I have a confession to make. Coming to Ponyville wasn't an accident. I was looking for you. Spike... [sighs] I'm your father.

[gasp]

Pinkie Pie

[continues gasping] Sorry.

Spike

How did you know I was a boy?

Fluttershy

Whatever happened to Spike's mom?

Rainbow Dash

And how did the egg make it all the way back to Equestria by itself?

Pinkie Pie

Hmm?

I wish I had all the answers. [crying]

If I had a castle like this with all this stuff, I'd probably just lay around all day doing nothing like a real dragon.

Spike

Like a real dragon?

Sure! I'm not surprised you don't know any better. Twilight basically raised you as a pony. She has made you soft. You're barely a dragon at all.

Spike

[sighs] Isn't he the best?

[disgusted] I'm not sure that's exactly the word I would use.

Uh, Spike? The bath isn't going to fill itself, son.

Spike

Be right there... Dad.

Twilight Sparkle

It's nice to have someone show your Dragon culture, but are you sure that is what Sludge is doing?

Spike

What do you mean?

Twilight Sparkle

Well... taking over your room, making a mess of things, hoarding our possessions...

Spike

[blows raspberries] That is dragon culture, he's showing me how dragons claim territory for themselves.

Twilight Sparkle

You never acted like that.

Spike

That's because you raised me. Now I finally have a chance to see how I'm supposed to be.

Twilight Sparkle

[remembering spike as a hatchling] I know that I've have not been a perfect mother... I don't think you're supposed to be any different then who you are.

Spike

Maybe you just don't like that I have a real parent now.

Twilight Sparkle

[heart breaks] That's not true! I'm glad Sludge is here. I-I just wish he wasn't such a—

Spike

Dragon? [disgusted] Of all ponies, I can't believe you would have a problem with that.

Spike

You pretended to be my dad?

Don't look at me like that, kid. I did what any dragon would do.

Smolder

No, you didn't.

Hey. I saw an opportunity, and I took it. That's what dragons do. We take what we want.

Smolder

No, it isn't.

You know what? I don't need this. I'm outta here! Enjoy loving pony town!

I'm taking this pillow!

Twilight Sparkle

I'm not surprised. There's no way a dragon like that was related to you. But if you still want to search for your real family, I'd understand if you spent more time in the Dragon Lands.

Spike

I don't think so. I already know who my real family is.

Twilight Sparkle

Aww! It's me, right?

Twilight Sparkle

Cozy Glow is behind all of this?!

Lord Tirek

[laughs] I'm not usually a fan of ponies, but draining your precious world of magic so she could trap the six of you was inspiring! [laughs, coughs]

Spike

Um, there's seven of us.

Twilight Sparkle

Have you even thought about what losing magic would mean?

Lord Tirek

It means the six of you will be trapped here! Like me!

Spike

Seven!

Twilight Sparkle

[to Tirek] Exactly. It means you're trapped here. Forever. With us.

Lord Tirek

Uhhhh... I hadn't thought of it like that.