Mean Applejack quotes from My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic

Applejack

Heavens to betsy! Now, I'm used to pickin' myself up and dustin' myself off, but Rarity won't even touch mud 'less it's imported.

Applejack

Dear Princess Celestia; I wanted to share my thoughts with you. [clears throat] I didn't learn anythin'! Ha! I was right all along!

Applejack

My dogs are barking.

Applejack

Did y'all hear that? They really are!

Applejack

Believing in something can help you do amazing things. But if that belief is based on a lie, eventually, it's gonna lead to real trouble.

Applejack

And I know you'll love cause you already got a billion just like sitting in a drawer doing nothin'!

Mean Applejack

...So there I was. Just me and, uh, a bucket of honey. Yeah, yeah, that's the ticket. Uh, b-but I-I survived all by myself and this here forest for, uh, a hundred and... twenty-seven hours!

Oh, my beloved subjects. It’s been so long since I’ve seen your precious little sun-loving faces.

Rainbow Dash

What did you do with our Princess?!?

Applejack

Whoa there, Nelly!

Why, am I not royal enough for you? Don’t you know who I am?

Ooh, ooh! More guessing games! Um...Hokey Smokes! How about...Queen Meanie? No...Black Snooty! Black Snooty!

Does my crown no longer count, now that I have been imprisoned for a thousand years? Did you not recall the legend? Did you not see the signs?

Twilight

I did! And I know who you are, you're the Mare in the Moon: Nightmare Moon!

Well well well, a pony who remembers me. Then you also know why I'm here...

Twilight

You're here to... to... [gulps]

Remember this day little ponies, for it was your last. From this moment forth...the night...will last... forever! [laughs evilly]

Applejack

Twilight, sugar, I didn't mean to put so much pressure on you. And if it helps, I don't want the ticket anymore. You can give it to somepony else. I won't feel bad, I promise.

Fluttershy

Me too. I feel just awful that I made you feel so awful.

And me too! It's no fun upsetting your friends!

Twilight, it was unfair of me to try to force you as I did.

Rainbow Dash

YES! That means the ticket is mine! [sing-song] I've got the ticket! I've got the ticket!

Rainbow Dash

You know, I haven't perfected my signature moves for the Wonderbolts anyway. I don't need that ticket either.

Applejack

We all got so gung-ho about going to the Gala, that we couldn't see how un-gung-ho we were making you.

We're sorry, Twilight.

Twilight

Spike, take down a note. [Spike begins to write on a scroll] "Dear Princess Celestia, I've learned that one of the joys of friendship is sharing a blessing. But when there's not enough blessings to go around, having more than your friends can make you feel pretty awful. So, though I appreciate the invitation, I will be returning both tickets to the Grand Galloping Gala."

WHAT!?

Twilight

If my friends can't all go, I don't want to go either!

Applejack

Twilight, you don't have to do that!

Twilight

Nope, I've made up my mind. Spike, you can send the letter now!

Fluttershy

Now you won't get to go to the Gala either.

Twilight

It's OK, girls. I couldn't possibly enjoy myself without my best friends there with me. [Twilight's friends embrace her] So, I'd rather not go at all.

Applejack

Boy howdy! I got my work cut out for me! That there's the biggest bumper crop of apples I ever laid eyes on.

Eeyup. Too big for you to handle on your own.

Applejack

Come on, Big brother! You'll need to rest up and get yourself better! I haven't met an apple orchard yet that I can't handle! [Accidentally pokes Big Mac's injured ribs] Oops! Sorry. I'll take a bite out of this job by day's end!

Big Mac

Biting off more than you can chew is just what I'm afraid of.

Applejack

Are you saying my mouth is making promises my legs can't keep?

Big Mac

Eeyup.

Applejack

Why, of all the...! This is your sister Applejack, remember? The loyalest of friends and the most dependable of ponies?

Big Mac

But still only one pony. And one pony plus hundreds of apple trees just doesn't add up to-

Applejack

Don't you use your fancy mathematics to muddy the issue! I said I could handle this harvest, and I'm going to prove it to you!

Twilight

Applejack, can we talk?

Twilight

[muffled and distorted] Applejack, can we talk?

Applejack

[loudly] Can bees squawk?! I don't think so!

Twilight

No, can we talk?

Applejack

20 stalks?! Bean or celery?!

Twilight

No! I need to talk to you!

Applejack

You need to walk to the zoo?! Well, who's stopping you?!

Twilight

I need to talk to you!

Applejack

Oh?! Then why didn't you say so?!

[angry] OK. I dare Applejack to play "dress-up" in a frou-frou, glittery, lacey outfit!

Applejack

[gasps, walks off, and returns in a frou-frou glittery lacey outfit] Happy?

[snickers] Very...

Applejack

I'd like to tell ya'll the terrifying tale of the prissy ghost, who drove everypony crazy with her unnecessary neatness! Oooooohhhhhoooooooohhh! I'm sure ya'll are familiar with that one?

Never heard of it. But I have a much better one... It's the horrifying story of the messy inconsiderate ghost, who irritated everypony within a hundred miles! Oooooohhhhhoooooooohhh!

Applejack

That's not a real story. You made it up!

It is a ghost story. They're all made up...

Get up so I can fix it again!

Applejack

Can’t hear you. I’m asleep. (Snores; Rarity yanks off the blanket) I ain’t budgin’.

(through teeth) You will if you want any blanket!

Applejack

Give it back!

I will not!

Applejack

Yes, you will!

Won’t!

Applejack

Will!

Won’t!

Applejack

Will!

Won’t!

Applejack

Will!

Twilight

(furiously sits up in bed) ENOUGH!!!!!!!!!!

Twilight

It says right here that the number one thing you're supposed to do at a slumber party is have fun! And thanks to you two, I can't check that off!

Applejack

I've been tryin' my darndest to get along.

No, it is I who've been trying my best!

Applejack

No, it was me!

No, it was I!

Applejack

Me!

I!

Twilight

I hope you're happy! BOTH of you! You've ruined my very first slumber party! The makeovers, the s'mores, Truth or Dare, the pillow fight... I mean, is there ANYTHING else that could possibly go wrong?!

Twilight

[nervously] Sorry I asked...

Applejack

Stop right there! [emerges from Apple Bloom's mane] Turn around right now, Missy!

Apple Bloom

[smug grin] No.

Applejack

No!? You can't ignore a direct order from your big sister!

Apple Bloom

[places Applejack on a tree branch] Sorry, Applejack, but I'm the big sister now! [walks off]

Applejack

Apple Bloom, you come back here right this instant! I'm gonna tell Big McIntosh in you! Oh, pony feathers!

Twilight

Pinkie, what have you done?!

I've lost a brand-new pair of cymbals, that’s what I’ve done!

Twilight

Will you forget about your silly instruments for one second?! You’re ruining our efforts to save Ponyville!

Me?!! Ruin?!! I'm not the ruiner! I'm the ruin-ee!...Or is it "ruin-ess"?..."Ruin-ette"?

Applejack

Come on, girls, there’s no reasonin’ with that one. She’s a few apples short of a bushel. [They leave Pinkie behind]

[crying out] Hey! I’m trying to tell you all that the ruining is on the other hoof...if you’d just slow down and LISTEN TO ME!!!