Spike quotes from My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic

Spike

So, Rarity is busy at an important fashion show, and Fluttershy is running her shop in Manehattan, but to do it, she's playing different shop pony characters that are all mean?

Twilight Sparkle

How in the world did you figure that out, Spike?

Spike

I'm not Dragon Charades champion for nothing!

Twilight Sparkle

To commemorate your first sunrise, I've written a play. We'd like to perform it at my School of Friendship, if you don't mind.

Princess Celestia

[giggling happily] Mind? Oh! Of course not! Oh! I think a play is a fantastic idea!

Spike

Did she just... prance?

Spike

If you need some pointers, let me know. I've been on my fair share of missions.

Twilight Sparkle

You've been on one, Spike.

Spike

And that's my fair share.

Discord

I'm a realist. And love, like all things warm and fuzzy, isn't real.

Spike

Aw, come on. You act tough, but deep down, you're a softie. I mean, you don't have tea with Fluttershy every weekend because you like tea.

Spike

Wow. You're really going all out to cheer up Big Mac. I'm impressed.

Discord

Yes, yes, I'm amazing.

Spike

Seriously?! Discord, come on! I can't believe you!

Discord

Who do you think broke Sugar Belle's wagon wheel?

Spike

It's a stone scale. It isn't magical or anything like the call of the Dragon Lord. It's just... red. And itchy. [groans] And embarrassing.

Ooh, precious pants, that does look uncomfortable. But even I get the odd blemish from time to time. It's nothing to be embarrassed by. You could pay Zecora a visit. She makes a cream that works wonders. Just don't get the shampoo.

Twilight Sparkle

I used to get terrible breakouts any time I had a final exam with Celestia. Who probably never had a blemish her whole life.

Smolder

[to Spike] If you're trying to hide, you need to do a better job. All I had to do was follow the smoke.

Spike

[strained voice] Leave me alone...

Smolder

What?

Spike

[strained] Leave... me... alone...

Smolder

I can't under-- Was that "sleeves made of foam"?

Spike

[strained] I said leave [voice turns loud again] ME ALONE!

Smolder

[laughs] Wow! I have seen some pretty bad molts in my time, but yours takes the cake!

Spike

Molts?

Smolder

The molt. Super painful stone scales, fire burps, uncontrollable volume shifts - it's all part of growing up dragon. Congrats! [slaps him on the back, making him groan in pain] Oh, sorry.

Smolder

That molt stench is a magnet for predators. Tatzlwurms, hydras, rocs...

Spike

Dragons are scared of rocks?

Smolder

R-O-C-S. Rocs. Humongous birds of prey that can snack on a molting dragon like candy!

Spike

[strained] So Twilight's kicking me out, and the only creatures who don't find me disgusting want to eat me?

Smolder

Seriously, I heard none of that.

Spike

[loudly] TWILIGHT'S KICKING ME OUT, AND THE ONLY CREATURES WHO DON'T FIND ME DISGUSTING WANT TO EAT ME?!

Smolder

Congrats!

Spike

Did I forget to mention the molt smell attracts predators?

Zecora

That's something that would've been quite nice to know! But it's not worth discussing right now! We should go!

Spike

If my stone scales didn't itch so much and we weren't in immediate danger, this would be [chuckles] really embarrassing!

Spike

Did I just sprout wings? I just sprouted wings!

Zecora

I know that the molt produced surprising things. But I'm glad that the last was a new pair of wings!

[loudly] Yes! And also, I'm glad you've got wings!

Twilight Sparkle

I don't need to carry you anymore, do I? You have wings.

Spike

They are new, and I don't want to overdo it.

Spike

Eh, being a princess for Twilight was hard enough.

Starlight Glimmer

I'm gonna pretend that made sense.

Spike

What's your problem?

Discord

My problem? How is the fact that Twilight decided to put an incompetent, power-hungry unicorn in charge of her school my problem?!

Headmare Starlight! Look at me! Look! I won the Spell-venger Hunt! Well done, me! Now what's my prize?

Spike

Detention.

Well, that's disappointing.