Mean Applejack quotes from My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic

Um, aren't you all missing some pony?

Applejack

They'll be along.

And, uh, [hushed] usually the younger ponies drive the carts.

[chuckles] Darling, do these look like usual carts to you?

Oh! My beautiful swan cart is an ugly duckling!

Applejack

And my old-time cart is a rootin' tootin' wreck!

Rainbow Dash

[straining] It still counts as a win if I push my cart across, right?

Rainbow Dash

So I may have switched all the Filly Guide cookies for joke cookies that were supposed to make ponies' mouths rainbow but somehow turned everypony into mindless cookie-eating zombies instead! I figure we just hide out here until the effects wear off, and as long as nopony else eats the cookies, we'll be fine.

That's lovely, darling, except for one thing... [droning] We've already eaten theeeeeeeeeemmmmm...

Applejack

[droning] Looks like your prank up and backfiiiirrrrreeeeed...

Rainbow Dash

You can't just go around—

Twilight

—pranking whoever you feel like?

Fluttershy

Without thinking about how it might make them feel?

Or if they'd even enjoy it?

Applejack

Or think it's funny?

Rainbow Dash

Yeah! [beat] Ohhh. I see what you did there.

Rainbow Dash

Between Applejack and me, we've got two-thirds of a team. All we need is a unicorn. That's where you two come in.

[whispering loudly to Fluttershy] Uh... they know we're not unicorns, right?

Rainbow Dash

Uh, obviously. You're going to be on my team, and Fluttershy is going to be on Applejack's team.

Applejack

We'll play against each other along with whatever unicorns want to try out until we find the best one.

Ohhhh! Phew! That's a relief because I left my unicorn costume at home! That's "uncredible"! Unbelievable and incredible? [scoffs] Come on!

Applejack

The map is sending us where?!

Fluttershy

Las Pegasus?!

Applejack

But Las Pegasus is a wild vacation spot! It's just one big party!

Fluttershy

All those lights and sounds, not to mention the crowds... Oh, just the thought of it is overwhelming!

Twilight

I know Las Pegasus doesn't seem like either of your cups of tea, but I have total faith you wouldn't have been called unless you were the perfect ponies for the job.

Applejack

[over loudspeaker] Flim and Flam told us you'd see right through the fake rich pony bit, and that once you did, you wouldn't be able to resist gloatin' about it! This was all part of the plan!

Oh, now, now, friends! Listen, I-I can explain everything!

I think you've done enough of that! Darling?

Hmph!

Oh, I cannot believe we let him almost ruin our friendship!

And our act. Good luck finding another one!

Wait! No! Y'all come back! Come on, I-I'm gonna be ruined! This is Gladmane's, y'all! Come on, you can't do this to...

Applejack

Gladmane has left the building!

Flam

In fact, we might think of it as a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity.

Flim

Emphasis on "once".

Fluttershy

[suspiciously] What do you mean?

Flam

[over loudspeaker] While this establishment undergoes a slight change in management, my brother and I want to assure you that it remains the pinnacle of Las Pegasus entertainment! Which is why we invite each and every one of you to experience the wonder of the Ponet Fantastique Theater – at half the normal cost of admission!

Flim

[over loudspeaker] And while you're appreciating this historic venue totally devoid of any performers of any kind, we invite you to use the wonder of your own imaginations to fill the space at no additional charge!

Applejack

Flim and Flam!

Starlight

Cogeria... persuadere... fiducia... hmm. Ah! Of course! Fiducia Compelus needs a trigger. [amplified] Ponies! Hear my voice and listen! Pinkie, kitchen. Rarity, Applejack, library. Fluttershy, stay here. Rainbow Dash, find somewhere inside the castle and set up a place where we can chillax.

[overlapped agreement]

Applejack

[mechanically, muffled] It was the best of apples, it was the worst of apples...

Starlight Glimmer

[exhales] I can handle this. It's just magic, and I know magic. What's that?!

[muffled noises]

Starlight

What did you say?

[mechanically] The cakes are burning. You left the ovens on.

Starlight

We need water!

Rainbow Dash

[mechanically] Yes, Starlight.

Starlight

Storm clouds?!

Applejack

Uh, Apple Bloom, did you pack up the cider into the same crates as the zap apple jam?

Apple Bloom

Sure did! Now that I'm gettin' older, I wanna prove I can handle more responsibility on the farm.

Applejack

But the crates aren't marked. You kept track of what went into which crate, right?

Apple Bloom

Oh. Um... y-yep. I totally kept track of everything.

Applejack

Good. Because we wouldn't want Filthy Rich to get a shipment of cider when he's supposed to get zap apple jam. You know how Granny feels about sellin' cider anywhere but on the farm. Are you sure he got the right crates?

Apple Bloom

[huffs] Sure I'm sure! Now why don't you and Big Mac head on out to the house and let me finish up here? [glass jars rattle]

Applejack

If you gave Rich the zap apple jam, then what's this here?

Apple Bloom

Um... extra?

Hello, Strawberry Sunrise. This is Applejack. I was wondering if you could tell her how you feel about apples.

Don't like 'em.

Applejack

What?! Why?! They're crunchy, they're sweet, they're delicious.

[chuckles] They're not strawberries. [chewing] Mmmm! [gulp]

Applejack

You're right! Apples are better than strawberries!

Only if, by "better", you mean "better at being disgusting".

Applejack

[stammering] You'd better apologise!

Oh, I'm sorry... that you actually bite into those tasteless, mealyworm-filled things.

Twilight Sparkle

This happened while we were gone?

Applejack

Wow, those are all the places we went when we left to save Equestria!

Ugh, there's that horrid town where we were almost sold!

Rainbow Dash

The pirates! They were pretty awesome! Uh, once they decided not to throw us overboard.

Pinkie Pie

And Mount Aris! Ooh, Starlight, did you know we made seashell necklaces for allllll [inhales] lllllll the sea ponies?

Starlight Glimmer

I— you— really? What about that unicorn, the one who attacked Canterlot?

Twilight Sparkle

Tempest! I invited her to come to Ponyville, but she wanted to spread the word of the Storm King's defeat, and share what she learned about friendship.

Applejack

Y'all think that's why the map grew? Friendship quests beyond Equestria?

Fluttershy

I hope not. I've had quite enough life-threatening adventures, thank you very much.

Pinkie Pie

How many friendship quests do you think we need to go on before we have to expand the throne room?

Twilight Sparkle

We can't do it all alone.

Pinkie Pie

Sure, we can! We just need to knock this wall down, get some paint...

Twilight Sparkle

Guess what? The School of Friendship is back in business!

Rainbow Dash

What?!

But why?

Fluttershy

Oh no.

Applejack

Bad idea.

Pinkie Pie

Do we still get to guess?

Ember

Ugh, fine! If you promise to stop singing, Smolder can stay!

Smolder

Wahoo!

Prince Rutherford

Uh, if dragon stay, yak stay.

Thorax

I know you will make the changelings proud, Ocellus.

Seaspray

You belong here. Now, can you show me those stair things you mentioned?

Silverstream

[incoherent excited noises]

[to Gallus] What? You belong at home! You think I care if you've made friends?

Gallus

Please, Grandpa Gruff? [whimpers]

Alright, alright! Stop doing that!

Starlight Glimmer

Guess I make a pretty good guidance counselor, huh?

Twilight Sparkle

Yes! Writing the rulebook was the most fun ever! I can't wait to start working on the new lesson plans!

Applejack

[clears throat]

Twilight Sparkle

...with some help from my friends.