Mean Applejack quotes from My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic

It's the coolest ride ever to exist in the history of Equestria!

Applejack

So, when did you ride it?

Oh. [laughs] I haven't.

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[reading] "Make sure they get their naps". "Eat only soft foods". "Careful when dancing"? "Don't get too excited"? Seriously?!

Applejack

And don't let 'em out of your sight. Ever.

Wait. Then how am I supposed to go on the roller coaster?

Applejack

You'll find time. And you might even learn a thing or two about havin' a good time from these old gals.

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Applejack

Wormy apple cores, Pinkie! How many times have I told you to keep your special effects away from my sets?!

Three hundred twenty-seven. Oh! Unless you just did. Then it's three hundred twenty-eight. [squee]

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Applejack

[deep inhale] Now take a good, deep breath. What do you smell?

Gallus

[inhale] Uh, yak?

Yona

[sniffing] Mm-hmm!

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Stroke! Stroke! Stroke! Harder! Put your backs into it, newbies!

Applejack

Stroooooke... Stroooooke... Stroooooke... Slower... Focus on your paddle technique, y'all.

Silverstream

Woo-hoo! We're really going now!

Smolder

So... when do we get to the part when we move?

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You were actually just competing the entire time, weren't you?

Applejack

To tell you the truth... yeah.

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Applejack

Apple Bloom! You know better than to leave our good tools out like that! And aren't you supposed to be on harvest duty right now?

Apple Bloom

Eh, it's not like the apples are going anywhere.

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Applejack

They're honorary diplomas, making y'all official graduates of this here school.

You've more than earned them.

Without even having to study!

CMCutie Mark Crusaders

[chanting] We are graduates! We are graduates! We are graduates!

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Listen to your queen! We must retrieve the Elements of Harmony!

[The Mean Six are mirror opposites of the Mane Six]

MPMean Pinkie Pie

Hunting down some lame Elements? This is the worst day ever! [depressing anger]

MFMean Fluttershy

[kicks dirt into Mean Pinkie's eyes] No. Now it's the worst day ever! [laughing cruelly]

Those Elements are mine! Along with this rock! Oh, and that twig! [proceeds to hoard every worthless item]

Mean Applejack

I got all kinds o' Elements right here under my hat. I'll let you see them for five bits. [unconvincing liar]

MRMean Rainbow Dash

[scoffs] Losers. [lazing in the canopy]

Why didn't you just attack them? [arrogant and spiteful]

Excuse me?

You were close enough to pull hairs from their manes. Why not just take your revenge then?

They've defeated my army. I know better than to strike alone. I need—

Friends?

Servants! And the power of the Elements!

Right. So where are these Elements of Harmony?

The location of the most powerful weapon in Equestria isn't something made known to just anypony. I learned they were hidden somewhere in this forest.

Yeah, well, it is a big forest.

[growling]

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Mean Applejack

The party password is "rutabaga".

[eye twitches]

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This is mine! And this as well! Oh, and this is absolutely mine!

Applejack

Rarity, what in the hay are you gonna do with a fishing rod?

I don't know. But I wants it! My precious!

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[Everypony is thoroughly irritated by each other's horrible social behavior and worst character traits]

Of course I care about Fluttershy!

Then you've got a super weird way of showing it!

W-What in Equestria's going on here?

Twilight is so into her "retreat" that she doesn't even care if her friends are upset! She just wants us to "Stay. On. Schedule"!

Well, I'm sorry, Pinkie, if I knew you thought this was a "boring, lame, no-fun retreat", I wouldn't have invited you in the first place!

I never said that!!

Applejack

Sorry, y'all. We would've been here sooner, but we had to take the long way after Rarity ran off with all my stuff.

Wha—?! I most certainly did not!

Applejack

What?! You know I ain't no liar! [to Starlight Glimmer] Where's all your gear?

Starlight Glimmer

Why? So you can laugh at me some more?!

Hey, hey, we're all friends here!

Fluttershy

Friends?! You left me alone in the woods! [sobs]

[Others arguing]

EVERYPONY, QUIET!!!

[Silence]

Listen. We know each other really well — the great stuff and how to get on each other's nerves, too. I wanted a fun trip with my friends, but instead I got carried away with plans and ruined everything. If you want to forget it all and head home, I won’t be offended. I just want us to stop fighting.

Applejack

[to Starlight Glimmer] Hey, sorry if I got carried away with all that camping stuff.

Starlight Glimmer

I'm sorry, too. I should've just told you I'll never like camping. Also, I'll never like camping.

Well, if we're all being honest, I can't survive with just this tiny yet fashionable little saddlebag! I miss my things!

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MPMean Pinkie Pie

Ugh! What's this garbage?

Mean Applejack

Badger installation art! Ya see--

Just! Retrieve! The Elements!

[The Mean 6 proceed to destroy the Mane Six's campsite]

MFMean Fluttershy

[laughing cruelly]

Mine! Mine! Mine! [crazed laughter]

Once we get the power of the Elements, no creature, not even her Majesty, can tell us what to do. Just follow my lead. Got it?

M6Mean 6 Ponies

[laughing evilly]

[They head for the tree of Harmony as Chrysalis is suspicious]

Ooh! That one's mine! [crazed laughter]

[The Element of Generosity reacts to Mean Rarity's presence by turning black momentarily and letting out an alarming noise; she launches toward it before Mean Fluttershy tackles her down]

MFMean Fluttershy

Oops. I'd say sorry, but I'm not!

Stop it, fools! [The Element of Kindness also turns black] We need the Elements to take out Chrysalis! [gasps]

How dare you! I created you!

[Chrysalis and Mean Twilight face off as the other clones attack the tree; as Mean Applejack kicks it, the Element of Honesty turns black; Laughter does likewise in response to Mean Pinkie Pie hitting it.]

MPMean Pinkie Pie

[laughing]

[Mean Rainbow Dash just sits down to nap, and Loyalty glows black as well. Mean Twilight has almost gotten the upper hand before the Element of Magic turns black and releases black energy to the rest of the elements, and the Tree defends itself by releasing wisps of white light from the Elements that grab the clones and hold them high, slowly draining the spell that gave them life right out of them.]

[groaning, gasps and she is being destroyed by the Tree of Harmony] Imbeciles! You ruined everythiiiiiiiing!

[The Tree of Harmony flashes white; when it clears, all that remains of the clones are color-coded clumps of the wood from when they were formed. Chrysalis realizes her plan is ruined and admits defeat...]

Servants always fail you in the end! Just wait, Starlight. I will have my revenge!

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[The actual Mane 6 discover the destroyed campsite]

[gasps] Are you kidding me?