My Gym Partner's a Monkey quotes

What happened?

You went totally ape and stuff, but Nurse Gazelle got you back to normal.

Nice shooting, nurse, in spite of your itty-bitty brain.

Thanks, but it wasn't the blowdart alone that did the trick.

Yeah, it was booty killed the beast. What, you don't get it? Booty as in my butt. It's a play on words. [faculty and students leave] Hey wait! Maybe I didn't sell it. [points to his butt with an arrow] Booty...killed...the... beast!!! Heh, I guess some people don't appreciate great literature.

Which reptile has poor eyesight?

Ingrid

Snakes!

Correct, Ingrid. Here's your treat.

Which reptile has no ears?

Ingrid

Snakes!

Correct again.

I don't know about you guys, but I'm thinking I aced that bad boy.

What?! Didn't I tell you not to the questions right, or you'd end up with… [covers his mouth] The Spiffies?

The Spiffies are the smartest kids in school, fool.

Eh, a bunch of dorks.

Jake, just because they're smart, doesn't mean they're… [cut to him in Mr. Blowhole's class, sitting with the Spiffies] Dorks? [The Spiffies laugh and snort] Although, I could be wrong about that.

Please welcome our newest overachiever, Adam Lyon.

Excuse me, Mr. Blowhole. But I think might being here is a big mistake.

You, think? You don't look capable of it.

[to Coach Gills] Excuse me ma'am, but these plays aren't so hard to remember. [puts away football playbook] Rollout Option Pass, the offensive line blocks down to prevent a defender from following the pulling guard and the tight end double teams the OT's man. If the defender changes the cover to block, the Quarterback runs behind his two blockers, sending the play into second option.

[to Adam] You forgot your lunch, monkey boy! [a banana is thrown at Adam]

Lyon! Are you planning on making us lose the district physical fit test?!

Sorry, Coach Gills. I didn't eat lunch, so I'm feeling kind of lightheaded.

[screams] Lightheaded?! The kid's over exerted! [takes out a megaphone] CODE BLUE! CODE BLUE!

So, you're lightheaded, eh?

Yeah, I forgot my lunch today and-

[screams] The kid's got an eating disorder! Code blue! Code blue!

So, Adam, what's this about you refusing to eat the cafeteria food? Let's rap about that.

I'm just not gonna eat twigs and bugs for lunch.

[screams] He's on a hunger strike! Code blue! Code blue!

I hear you're refusing to eat the cafeteria food, unless we add something that's fit for human consumption.

I don't wanna cause any trouble. I just wanna be able to eat something at lunch.

He's gonna sue! Give him whatever he wants! Code blue! Code blue!

Henry

Me, um...line.

Jungle Guy.

Henry

Jungle Guy. You...um...line.

Next!

Henry

Next! Line.

Next!

Henry

Next!

Next!!!

Henry

Next!!!

Get off the stage, you idiot!

[to Jake] The best Jungle Guy can...make a soufflé.

That's the stupidest thing I've ever heard!

Slips! Will you stop that incessant scratching and return to your seat?!

Yes, ma'am. [sadly returns to his desk]

[about Slips] Oh, yuck! That snake's got a cold! Germ alert! Germ alert!

[under the hypnotic powers of Jake] Pretty! Pretty! Shiny! Shiny!

My butt is a classic, a classic has-been.

[showing off his butt routine to the audience] What are you looking at? Okey dokey!

[his science project is on fire] Break out the sauce, I smell barbecue. Oh, that's me. Ouch!

I'm glad you're here Adam, 'cause you're so-o-o smart.

I'm not that smart. I think chocolate milk comes from a brown cow.

Uh, well, I look forward to the Easter bunny coming every Christmas.

Don't look at me, I think professional wrestling is real.

I can't even spell real.

It's R-E-A-L. [mechanical arm powers up its drill] Darn it!

That's what you get for being such a smarty pants.