Natalie Teeger quotes from Monk

Natalie

How about this? It's the ninth floor, right? [Bangs on the elevator call button] Let's take the elevator up to four and then walk up five flights!

Monk

Yeah, that sounds fair.

Sharona

Or we take the elevator up to level five and walk up four flights!

Monk

Can't argue with that.

Sharona

You treat him like a child!

Natalie

He's not a child!

Sharona

I did not say he's a child! I said you're treating him like a child!

Natalie

Oh, I'm being supportive!

Sharona

No, you're not being supportive! You're enabling him- [Monk, pacing back and forth, interrupts]

Monk

Okay, here's what we're gonna do: we're going to take the elevator up to 18 and walk down nine flights. That way everybody's miserable. [Cuts to Carolyn Walsh opening the door to find Monk, Natalie and Sharona sweating and almost out of breath]

Natalie

Well, he can't go too far. He can't sleep without his Trudy pillow.

Sharona

Or that special red toothbrush.

Natalie

Or his little flossing kit.

Sharona

Or the sound machine with that foghorn noise.

Natalie

Actually, that one broke. And they discontinued the model.

Sharona

Really? What did you do?

Natalie

I went out and bought an actual foghorn and made my own tape. [Laughs] I'm not kidding! I have an actual foghorn sitting in my garage!

Sharona

Do you mind if she calls you Adrian?

Monk

Of course not. Why would I mind?

Natalie

Okay. Adrian.

Monk

Yeah, see I don't like it either.

Natalie

Me neither.

Natalie

[Examining a painting] Could be a lover?

Monk

How do you figure?

Natalie

Well, he's naked, and, uh... lower right corner?

Monk

Oh. Oh! Oh, I thought that was the signature.

Natalie

It's not too late to back out.

Monk

Oh no, I am doing this, I am playing the game.

Natalie

Well, at least try to have some fun.

Monk

Natalie, it's a game; it's not supposed to be fun.

Lt. Disher

[Practicing his song that he will sing at Leland and T.K.'s wedding] "Cupid was a gun for hire. Took aim at Leland Stottlemeyer. Who's love was wallowed in the mire. We love you, TK Stottlemeyer! Mr. and Mrs. Stottlemeyerrr..."

Natalie

Sounds a little bit like "Light My Fire".

Lt. Disher

What part?

Natalie

The words. And the music. Why don't you just play "The Wedding March"?

Monk

You polished the bullets.

Natalie

Yeah, you don't want to shoot anybody with a dirty bullet.

Monk

Yeah, they might get a infection. God, we're funny together.

Natalie

We are.

Natalie

What are you doing?

Monk

Just checking to make sure the stove is off.

Natalie

Good thinking. You wouldn't want to go all the way across town with your stove on.

Monk

I know. That actually happened to me a few years ago...