[Sharona surprises Stottlemeyer]
Excuse me, I'd like a lodge a complaint against one of your officers.
[Not looking up] What did he do?
He hasn't written or called me in five years.
[Stottlemeyer looks up and sees Sharona standing in the doorway].
“Mr. Monk and Sharona” · Season 8
In this episode: Sharona Fleming (4), Adrian Monk (3), Natalie Teeger (3), Captain Leland Stottlemeyer (2)
[Stottlemeyer warns Monk about how working with both Natalie and Sharona is dangerous]
You're gonna have a breakdown. I love Natalie. And I love Sharona, too. They're both wonderful women. You got lucky twice. But together, they're like bourbon and vodka: I love them both, but I can't have them at the same meal because they don't mix. These women are so different, Monk. They're going to tear you apart like a piece of saltwater taffy.
I know, I've been a piece of taffy all day. Natalie's been acting like Mary, Queen of Scots. She wants more money. I mean, she won't lay down in the dirt when I ask her. I'm losing her.
And it's only gonna get worse.
[Monk, Natalie and Sharona try to argue as to the best way up to Perry Walsh's ninth floor apartment. Natalie wants to take the stairs and Sharona wants to take the elevator]
How about this? It's the ninth floor, right? [Bangs on the elevator call button] Let's take the elevator up to four and then walk up five flights!
Yeah, that sounds fair.
Or we take the elevator up to level five and walk up four flights!
Can't argue with that.
You treat him like a child!
He's not a child!
I did not say he's a child! I said you're treating him like a child!
Oh, I'm being supportive!
No, you're not being supportive! You're enabling him- [Monk, pacing back and forth, interrupts]
Okay, here's what we're gonna do: we're going to take the elevator up to 18 and walk down nine flights. That way everybody's miserable. [Cuts to Carolyn Walsh opening the door to find Monk, Natalie and Sharona sweating and almost out of breath]
Well, he can't go too far. He can't sleep without his Trudy pillow.
Or that special red toothbrush.
Or his little flossing kit.
Or the sound machine with that foghorn noise.
Actually, that one broke. And they discontinued the model.
Really? What did you do?
I went out and bought an actual foghorn and made my own tape. [Laughs] I'm not kidding! I have an actual foghorn sitting in my garage!
[As Monk, Natalie and Sharona travel across the golf course to find Perry Walsh, Sharona can't help but notice that Natalie always refers to Monk as "Mr. Monk"]
Do you mind if she calls you Adrian?
Of course not. Why would I mind?
Okay. Adrian.
Yeah, see I don't like it either.
Me neither.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Monk pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.