Kelly Bundy quotes from Married... with Children

Al

Now here's all the money I've got. I want you to go out to a pharmacy and get some real medicine.

Kelly

Outside? But Daddy, what if someone sees my pimple?

Al

Pumpkin, it's dark. No one is going to see the pimple.

Kelly

I guess you're right. I guess I'm just being silly, huh?

Woah, look at the zits on the blonde chick!

Kelly

Thank God he didn't see the pimple, huh?

Bud

A fat woman came into the shoe store today.

Kelly

And Bud still looked up her dress.

Bud

Dad, we got a problem.

Kelly

We were out walking Buck when we ran into Mrs. Stewart.

Bud

She was wearing her yellow slicker and I guess Buck must've thought she was a fire hydrant.

Kelly

Do you really think that science can replace this! [Takes off coat to reveal a tight skirt]

Dr. Kessler

But I've got a patient, [Kelly pouts] Who is now on auto.

Bud

Sheos?

Kelly

No. Shoes, remember? E before O except after E-I-E-I-O.

Kelly

It's just a junior prom. I can do this with my eyes closed and my hands tied behind my back.

Bud

That's sort of like one of your real dates, right?

Kelly

Let's call him Lucky. Lucky Bundy.

Al

I was saving that name for my tombstone.

Kelly

You know what I'd do if my lover lost interest in me?

Bud

Sleep with his parole officer?

Kelly

Mom, Dad, Bud: you will never guess what I got.

Bud

A better game would be guess what you haven't got. I'll take Virginity for $100.

Kelly

Well, that's funny. Nobody will take yours for less than $1000.

Where is your father, the village shoesmith?

Kelly

He's with my mother, the village shopper, and my grandma, the village.

Jefferson

So the Tattoo on my but said M-A-R-Y.

Kelly

So What? M-A-R-Y. Marcy.

Bud

There's a C in Marcy.

Kelly

M-A-R-Y-C? Oh yeah, the C is silent.

Dan

Call it in the air.

Kelly

It's a coin.

Dan

You win.

Kelly

What do you think?

Bud

You no longer look like a North American slut, you look like a South American slut.

Kelly

That's exactly the look I was going for.

Bud

Can we please watch something else, this is a rerun.

Kelly

No it's not, I've seen this one a million times.

Bud

If I was a hot young chick, I couldn't keep my hands off myself.

Kelly

Well, I guess that makes you a hot young chick.