Kelly Bundy quotes from Married... with Children

Kelly

Daddy, wanna know what I think?

Al

Oh, this should be good.

Kelly

Now, like a great eastern religion says, it's all about striking a balance between the ping and the pong.

Al

Go get my noose, boy.

Marcy

Peggy, Kelly, as your civil defense block captain, I'm taking charge. You are to follow my orders without asking any questions.

Kelly

So we're supposed to act like Mr. Darcy?

Marcy

You've only got time to take your most prized possession.

Kelly

Can I take two?

Peggy

Can I get a little help here?

Kelly

Have you seen my lucky audition blouse?

Peg

What's it look like?

Kelly

See-through. Maybe that's why I can't find it.

Bud

This is so low! It says here that you're both six months pregnant by Billy Ray Cyrus!

Kelly

Really? Well, how come Mom is showing and I'm not?

Peg

I AM NOT SHOWING!... and you're grounded.

Kelly

Calm down, Mom, it's bad for the baby.

Bud

Kelly, hello? You're not really pregnant!

Kelly

Pffeew. Looks like we squeaked by that one, hey, Mom?

Kelly

Oh, no! Mom needs to see one of those people who brings you to his office and asks you to take your clothes off.

Bud

The principal?

Bud

Something burning? Has Mom been ironing?

Al

No. Nothing as unusual as that. I sold my soul to the devil.

Kelly

For riches and diamonds?

Bud

Kelly, we're talking about Dad's soul.

Kelly

For a Canadian penny?

Kelly

Hey, guess what? I finally got my masseuse license. You know what that means.

Bud

You can rub men and finally get paid for it?