[incredulous] A peptic ulcer!? How did you manage to get a peptic ulcer!? The doctor said you had the stomach lining of a 60-year old air traffic controller! You are a teenager, for God's sake; what do you have to be stressed about!?
[finally loses his cool] For your information, I just spent the past 3 hours on a gurney next to a guy who was still trying to smoke out of the hole in his neck! And the jackass who put in this IV couldn't find a vein with two hands and a flashlight! My call button doesn't work! These stupid sheets are itchy! There's only one channel on the TV, and what's this about a bedpan?!
Let me explain something to you; this house would fit in my house's garage, but then I'd have to park my Porsche in the driveway! Now I don't mind tossing innocent people out on the street, I just don't do it for free!
doctorCongratulations. (sees Hal and Lois’s facial expressions, and laughs) This is the best part of my job. Seeing the looks on peoples’ faces when I give them the good news.
No one's taking anybody! I can't believe you boys. [picks up Reese; Reese groans] Oh, my God, look at you! [Reese groans again] He better not need stitches! [Reese groans a third time] Yeah, like you weren't beggin' for it.
You did not already try on those clothes. And you do not have a term paper due, [looks at Dewey] and you are not gonna suddenly develop stomach cramps.
'Cause in prison you got to make your own fun. When they're tossing punk kids like you and you. Whoooo, it's like Christmas for me. If you displease me, I will not hesitate to grab you by your pretty little neck. Just squeeze until your eyeballs bulge out of your head and pop them with a fork.
[Reese laughs, catching the attention of Samuel]
SSamuel
You think that's funny?!
Reese I thought you were trying to be funny.
SSamuel
So I got me a volunteer, huh. Well let me tell you cupcakes, of WHAT YOUR FIRST DAY OF BEING HERE GONNA BE LIKE?!
It's so weird at my house. Nobody ever answers the phone and my brothers are seeing who can go the longest without changing their underwear. I never thought I'd miss my mom. [pauses] I still don't, but I'm getting there.
You're right. He's a genius ... which would make him attractive to rogue elements in our secret weapons programs. How long before some government scientist picks him up and surgically attaches him to some animal?
