Oh, God, Burning Man again? Every year it's the same thing. "This time we're totally going!" "Oh, yeah, totally!" And every year you chicken out with some pathetic excuse. My personal favourite was last year's "really bad Slurpee headache."
See? That is exactly the kind of ignorant talk I'd expect from someone who doesn't have any appreciation for what Burning Man is. A week of freedom out in the desert! Naked women! Getting back to your primal nature! Naked women! People doing art! Naked women!
It's a very special moment when a father watches his boys lie to their mother for him. There's only one thing that could make me prouder: if one of you could saw off my leg.
[Lois has just come home with groceries and is listening to an audio book of a novel. Later on as it got to the conclusion, Lois is eating salsa on her credit card in the car.]
NNarrator
Hello McKendrick I heard from behind. I spun around, but standing there was ....
[takes out his cigarette] Dewey's drinking coffee.
[He tries to get rid of the cigarette evidence by tossing it away. However to his dismay, Lois ignores Dewey for the moment. In her opinion, his drinking coffee doesn't equal to the type of punishment that she will inflict on Hal in breaking his promise by smoking in the house again.]
The Norvet Institute kicked Stevie out for unauthorized use of their equipment and Reese will be OK, but he's not allowed out of bed until he stops seeing four of everything.
[Hal comes into the kitchen, carrying a trash bin to one of the air conditioner vents where he hides his cigarettes. Opening the vent, the cigarettes all cascade down into the bin. Hal then closes it and leaves.]
[to the camera] Mom's making dad find the last of his old cigarettes and she's gonna make him eat any she finds in the morning so he's pretty motivated. The amazing thing is I got off scot-free.
I cannot believe they called me into work. I requested Halloween off eight months ago, and suddenly, Mary Beth becomes a Wiccan so she can take it as a religious holiday.
[reminding Hal] But this is the good one, you know. There's such a tiny window where the kids are so sweet and adorable and you can dress them up however you want. [disgusted] Every year after that, Halloween's just another trip to the police station.
Listen, Monday, I need you to get your mom out of the house for a couple of hours after school. Take her to a chick flick or something. You should enjoy that.
Thanks. And now I'll take yours because you obviously shook mine up. [Switches cans] Wait a minute! You wanted me to do that! [Switches cans again] Of course you had to have known I was going to know that! [Switches again] Unless you didn't think I was smart enough. But I'm smarter than... You know what? I'm not smart enough to figure it out! So what? Big deal! [Goes to fridge and opens a different can which is shaken and sprays him with soda as he screams]
