Hail the conquering fat-ass! A lonely pig gorging himself on the lips and anuses of his brothers.
BDBill Dautrieve
Dale, why don't you shut your skinny little no-hot-dog-eating mouth?
S7 E2The Fat and the Furious
S7 E3Bad Girls, Bad Girls, Whatcha Gonna Do
TPTid Pao
You brought it here!? God, you are one dumbass pig-farmer.
[when Bobby gets caught spray painting the fence with graffiti]
Q-bag!
Painterer!
You! Inside! Now! [cues to inside the house] Dang it, Bobby! Your mother and I took our wedding photos in front of that fence!
Man, I'm just keepin' it real, dawg.
S7 E4Goodbye Normal Jeans
TTeacher
(sees bubbles approaching) Bobby, what are you doing?
I'm ironing underwater. (makes blooping sounds)
TTeacher
(wipes her glasses) Don't test me, young man.
(Upon Hank finding Bobby holding a Cheerleader uniform) There better be a naked cheerleader under your bed.
Wow. Boy, that cheese. Mm.
S7 E5Dances with Dogs
Rex, just move your paw. (screams)
S7 E6The Son Also Roses
SStoner
We need more of this dude!
S7 E7The Texas Skillsaw Massacre
Hank Rutherford Hill, you are within one hundred feet of me, and much as I like to scoff at the law, I also like to arbitrarily enforce it. Skedaddle, boy. We got a tunnel to dig under the alley!
What?
Yep. It's gonna go from Dale's house, my house to Boomhauer's house!
A little 3 way friendship tube and you ain't invited!
The only rules are no spitting and no cutting other people's fingers off. You probably wouldn't like them down there, Hank.
Yeah, man, talkin' 'bout no dang ol' psychos allowed, man.
Good God, you're serious?! The alley is city property. As block captain I will come down on you with the full authority of my office. And who the hell are you?
Hank, you know Octavio. He's my gal Friday. Does anything I want. Now you, scoot. 100 feet. Move it.
[This made Hank furious. Hank points at Dale.]
You shut your got-dang mouth or I'll shove that Ditch Witch down your throat and dig a tunnel straight through to sunshine!
BJBig Jim
Ha ha, that's telling him.
'Felt good, too.
Back off, Hank, or Octavio will mess you up.
OOctavio
Gribble, I don't care if he stays or goes. Where's the money you owe me, esse?
You heard him.
BJBig Jim
Take the first shot, Cochise. I love two things: building doll house furniture and kicking ass. And I don't see any no houses 'round here. You see any doll houses, Hank?
No, I don't.
BJBig Jim
(furiously) No you don't, that's right! What are you looking at, sport? Don't you eyeball me! Don't you eyeball a JUNKYARD DOG! [Everyone is looking scared, even Hank] ARF, ARF, ARF! NOW YOU GOT THE DOG BARKING! YOU GOT IT, YOU GOT IT! ARF, ARF!
[in his fit, he appears to choke on his own slobber, then suddenly screams in pain as he grabs his head, then falls right to the ground face first; even Hank is concerned, as he appears to have given himself a fatal stroke]
I don't have an anger problem, I have an idiot problem!"
You cut Dale's finger off for building a tunnel. I once made a vest out of your wife's underpants. I can't imagine what you'd do to me.
Police Officer (thinking it's a domestic abuse situation): It always happens to the younger, prettier ones.
(Yelling at Hank) If it were up to you, you would have filled my buddy tunnel with cement, so no one else could use it! (Note the sexual innuendo/double entendre, based on context of scene).
These quotes come from Wikiquote's King of the Hill pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.