Aunt Dahlia quotes from Jeeves and Wooster

Your uncle Tom thinks it's the cat's nightwear.

Oh, Bertie, if magazines had ears, Milady's Boudoir would be up to them in debt. I've got nasty little men in bowler hats knocking at my door.

Bertie Wooster

Tut!

What did you say?

Bertie Wooster

I said "tut!"

Say it again and I'll biff you where you stand. I have enough to endure without being tutted at.

Bertie Wooster

Well, quite.

Any tutting that's required, I'll attend to myself.

Jeeves

Good morning, Mrs. Travers. Mr. Wooster asked me to say that he has gone to Switzerland.

Oh, piffle, Jeeves, get the blighter out of bed.

Jeeves

Very good, madam. [goes into Bertie's bedroom] Mrs. Travers, sir.

Bertie Wooster

But, I thought I told you —

Jeeves

I'm afraid she seemed disinclined to believe me, sir.

Bertie

One has tried, one has failed! One can do no more.

Don't you try that "dying duck in a thunderstorm" stuff on me, young Bertie. You will get that cow creamer.

Bertie

No — no, you don't understand, Aunt Dahlia. I have tried! I've been threatened with a shotgun, and Roderick Spode says that if I try again, he will beat me to a jelly.

Yes? Go on.

Bertie

What do you mean "yes, go on"? You wouldn't want your favorite nephew to be beaten to a jelly, now would you?

Might be an improvement.

Bertie Wooster

Aunt Dahlia! What ho, old blood relation!

[affectionately] Hello, Bertie, revolting young blot.

Bertie Wooster

Well, I can't possibly come down to Brinkley, aged aunt. If I'm seen within a twenty-mile radius of Florence Craye, I get my spine broken.

Oh, you're so selfish, Bertie. You don't know how important this is to me.

Bertie Wooster

Well you don't know how important my spine is to me. I'm very attached to it.