Roderick Spode quotes from Jeeves and Wooster

[banging at Gussie's door] Come out, you putrid little earthworm! [...] I'm going to tear your head from off your shoulders!

Fink-Nottle! I'm going to ram that notebook of yours down your throat!

[angrily] Why wasn't Fink-Nottle at dinner?

Bertie

Perhaps he wasn't hungry.

I'm looking for him.

Bertie

Oh. Right. Well uh...any message if he should turn up?

Tell him I'm going to break his neck!

Bertie

Break his neck. Right. And, uh, if he should ask why?

He knows why! Because he's a butterfly who toys with women's hearts and throws them aside like soiled gloves.

Bertie

Do butterflies do that?

Are you trying to be funny?

Bertie

No, no, no.

Good.

[speaking to to a small crowd] At birth, every citizen, as a right, will be issued with a British bicycle and an honest, British-made umbrella. Thus assured of a mobile workforce adequately protected against the elements, this great country can go forward once more to glory!

Hurray!

[to Jeeves] I say. That's a jolly good idea, Jeeves.

Citizens of Totleigh-in-the-Wold, I say to you that nothing stands between us and our victory, except defeat! Tomorrow is a new day! The future lies ahead!

D'you know, I never thought of that.

Ah, Jeeves. Glad to see you here. You're just the sort of person we need in the movement — the working masses. [Jeeves stiffens]

Jeeves

[coldly] I hesitate to contradict you, Mr. Spode, but the "working masses" and I have barely a nodding acquaintanceship. Good afternoon.

Even the black shorts that my followers wear are symbolic.

Symbolic?

Certainly! They signify the brevity of our patience with present-day political apathy. And black is symbolic of the fact that so riddled with inefficiencies is our present-day industrial structure, that my suppliers ... ran out of all the other colours.

Bertie Wooster

I say! [the sledgehammer, missing the safe, comes crashing down instead on an adjacent table] What are you doing!?

How dare you question my motives!?

Bertie Wooster

Yes, the date of the battle is the number of the combination.

Ah, Trafalgar.

Bertie Wooster

Uh, no ...

Hastings.

Bertie Wooster

Yes! No ... no, like Hastings. Hastings ... Mason ... Raisin ...

[irritated] I don't recall a Battle of Raisin.

Bertie Wooster

Well perhaps it was in the Grape War. [chuckles] It was a joke, Spode.

Bertie Wooster

Oh by gee by gosh by gum by Jove!

Oh by Jove, oh by Jove, oh by Jove!

Bertie Wooster

Oh By Jingo, won't you hear our love?

Madeline Bassett

Will you kindly raise your voice?

Louder!

We will build for you a hut!

Yes!

You will be our favourite nut!

Correct!

Bertie Wooster

We'll have a lot of little oh-by-Joveses!

Jeeves

Dress them up in clogs and clotheses.

Bertie Wooster

Oh By Jingo said by gosh by gee!

G, A, B, C, D, E, stop!

Madeline Bassett

Oh by jiminy, please don't bother me!

Bother her, bother her!

Bertie Wooster

So they all went away, saying

Oh by gee by gosh by gum by Oh By Jingo, by gee, you're the only one for me!

Jeeves

Bring me lobster on a clean plate!