Mama Tohru quotes from Jackie Chan Adventures

Aiya!

[waking up] U-Uncle? [Uncle cuffs him] Ow!

You cast a lousy spell!

I did?

My one of a kind vase is no longer one of a kind!

[gasp] One more thing!

Now, the drum!

Uh...drum?

The symbol of the immortal who originally imprisoned Po Kong!

[gulps] I...thought you had it.

Aiya! What kind of apprentice are you?!

...a lousy one?

Jackie

Uncle! The Pan'ku box!

I think there is a bigger problem to solve.

[sighs] I must do research...

Uh, no need, sensei. I believe no finishing charm was applied to the original duplication spell. That is why it continues to repeat.

Huh?

Uh, I did some reading during the long flight.

Tohru will be a good apprentice.

Jackie

Did you bring the finishing charm?

[nods] But it will only work on the original Jade.

Jackie

Jade!

Jackie

[groans] Okay! Whoever cast the spell in the first place is grounded with no TV for a year!

Jade Clones

[gasp] She did it! [all point to one Jade]

Jade

Tch...tattle-tales.

Jackie

Hollywood? I'm on my way, Captain Black.

Jade

[surprises Jackie] Jackie, can I come with? Please???

Jackie

Jade, the Dark Hand is there, no doubt searching for a demon portal.

Jade

But Jackie, Raphaelo DiCapizio is getting his footprints in cement at the Chinese Theater this weekend!

Jackie

Who-phealo DeCa-who-zio?

Jade

Tch. Hello? Raphaelo DiCapizio is only the greatest movie star in the history of... history!

Ah, I guess you have never heard of John Wayne!

Aah, the Duke. "Saddle up, Pilgrim!"

I am so sorry I screamed, Jade.

Jade

Yeah, uh, Frankenstein did look pretty life-like, T. Must be all that wax.

Uh, maybe we should bring back a souvenir for Uncle. [approaches the gift shop desk] Do you have any photos of John Wayne? [the girl looking at Tohru behind the desk, obviously intimidated by his size, holds up photos]

Jackie! [Jackie jumps in surprise, dropping the armor he's carrying] You are too loud!

Jackie

Uncle, you are the one who's yelling!

[gasp] You dishonor the only known existing relic of the Eight Immortals!

Jackie

Ye-eh-You caused me to drop it!

[gasp] You dishonor your Uncle!

Jade

[very sleepy] Hey Jackie...

Jackie

Jade, what are you doing up?

Jade

"Old Yeller" is keeping us all up. He hasn't slept in days!

Tohru! Where is my tea?!

[sleeping standing up and holding tea] Er, what? [falls asleep again, pouring tea on the floor]

Aiya!

Jackie

Uncle, why won't you sleep?

Because, I have demons on the brain! I lay down, and all I hear is "Chi spell! Chi spell! Chi spell!"

Jackie

Have you tried counting sheep?

Demons always eat them.

Jackie

Well...thank you for watching Jade. [proceeds to leave]

Where are you going?! We must study the Immortal's Armor and discover what magic it holds!

Jackie

Now? It is 3 AM Uncle. You should really try to sleep. [cell phone rings]

How can I sleep with all this noise?!

Jackie

[answers phone] Yes?

Captain Black

Jackie, we've spotted the Dark Hand.

Jackie

I'm on my way!

Captain Black

Care to know where you're going?

Jackie

I don't care. Anywhere but here.

Captain Black

Okay...

Jackie

....[hangs up phone] Uncle, I'm off to Spain! I will call you for the Chi spell, once I find out what Demon we're dealing with. [begins to leave fast]

Take the armor, it could be of some use!

Jackie

But you have to discover what magic it holds!

How can I do that if you take it with you?!

[upon finding a fissure] Earthquake?

Jade

Earth Demon.

Jackie

How are you feeling, Uncle?

Very well, thank you...except for the Demon screaming in my face! One more thing! I told you the armor was good armor! One more thing! You should never question Uncle!

You should have made Uncle's tea stronger. He is still cranky.

Jade

I don't think there's enough tea in China to simmer Uncle down. But I'll take Mr. Sourpuss over Mr. Happypants any old day!

Jade

Seymour's loads more fun than any of the other kids at school! We like the same things, and he actually listens to me! We're like Yin and Yang, Yang and Yin.

Good and evil?

Jade

Left and right; two halves of the same whole. Duh.

Jade

You were right about the good and evil thing, T.

There will be other dances, Jade.

Jade

Dance, schmance. I am so over Seymour! I just miss having someone around who listens. [pause] Someone... like you! [gives Tohru her necklace] Yin and Yang. Big and small. You and me.

Tea, sensei?

Thank you.

Valmont

Oh jolly good, Tohru, I would love a spot. [Tohru growls at Valmont] Uh...right then... [sits back down]

Valmont

Just like old times, eh Tohru? [Tohru growls at Valmont] I recommend you watch your back, Chan! Tohru turned coat on me, remember?

You forced me to fight a demon!

Valmont

[sarcastically] Oh yes. That's completely different from what Chan has you doing!

Jackie

[trying to start the boat] Hurry, Uncle! We must fly to Rome!

Jade is not in Rome, Jackie. She is trapped in the Demon Netherworld.

Oh why couldn't it have been me?

Jackie

[grunts in frustration] There must be something we can do, Uncle! A counterspell! A stronger spell! SOME WAY TO- [Uncle cuffs him] Ow!

I cannot think with all your noise! [in deep thought] The Eighth Door!

Jackie

Uncle?

We have permanently sealed seven portals belonging to seven Demon Sorcerors, but not the one belonging to Shendu! It is Jade's only hope of escape from the Demon Realm...

Jade!

Jade

Mom! Dad!

Cousin Jackie!

Uncle!

What brings you to Hong Kong?

Hong Kong Moose World! [winks at Jade who winks back]

Jade

Uh, look at the watch Jackie got me!

Moose World? Can I go too?

El Toro Fuerte

What mooses? We were fighting Demo- [is elbowed by Viper]

Viper

Uhhh traffic! We were fighting Hong Kong traffic to visit you.

Jade

So I could show you how much I've learned in America.

We know you have been doing very well there, Jade.

No doubt due to Cousin Jackie's excellent training.

Jackie

In all honesty, it is Jade who sometimes trains me...

Jade

You've been acting all weird lately. [Tohru groans] C'mon, you can tell me! It's Uncle, right? That garlic smell?

It's my mother...

Jade

What? Is she sick, or- ...You have a mom?