Jackie[Takes a deep breath] Breathe deeply. The breath flows to the finger tips, then down to the toes...
Then the toes goes up...The bad guys's nose! Hyah! [Jade high kicks and punches while Jackie just stares at her] What? He was asking for it.
Jackie
Discipline, Jade.
But I want to be a lean, mean Jackie Chan machine!
Jackie
Don't be in such of a hurry! Slow and steady wins the race.
Jackie
Greek, actually. The story of "The Tortoise and the Hare". Once upon a- Where are you going?
Are you...Karl....Kniver?
Nivor. Dr. Karl Nivor, in the flesh.
[out of sight]
Jackie
SHH!
And this fellow must be the merchandise of which my friend Valmont spoke. Mmmm, yes. You're a fine specimen, aren't you? Aren't you?
[sigh] Borris. [a chef appears holding a briefcase of money] Pay the man. [Tohru accepts the briefcase] Care to join me for dinner?
[licking his fingers] But we're having, quite the delicacy. A dish so rare, you might say it's endangered. Turtle soup.
[out of sight]
Ew! He's gonna eat Aesop?! [gasp] He's gonna eat Aesop...
Y-yeesss...we uh...uh...ummm [clears throat] I must deliver this to Valmont. [holding the Rabbit Talisman]
Mr. Chan, this is not the first time we've had a problem with Jade. Swinging from gym lamps, stealth walking with ladders, scaling the building with the fire hose...
Just like Jackie! He reminds me of a chimpanzee!
Jackie
Uncle!
Now I don't know where Jade learned to fight...
From Jackie! He's a good teacher!
Jackie
Uncle, shhhh! Ms. Hartman, I assure you, the martial arts are meant to discipline Jade, not teach her to-
Martial arts? Like karate?
Kung-fu! Best self defense! Whole body becomes a secret weapon!
You really go for the gold, Mr. Chan. Fool's gold.
Jackie
You know, Valmont? I was wondering, what is one of these worth? An all expenses paid trip to Melvin World? [tosses a gold brick into the water]
[Jackie begins throwing dozens of gold bricks into the water]
Jackie
What about these? A new Ferrari?
Jackie
A summer home? Your own private island to build it on? A robot butler for that home?
ARGH! [blasts his ship in half] Blast.
AAuctioneer
The next item up for auction, is a Porcelain lamp featuring, well, an unusual rat motif. What are my bid for this piece?
Jackie
One hundred dollars!
AAuctioneer
Do I hear one-fifty?
[entering the room] Two hundred!
AAuctioneer
Smashing! Do I hear-
Jackie
Two-fifty!
Jackie
Three-fifty!
Jackie
Five hundred!
[Auctioneer looks on in bewilderment]
Jackie
Seven!
Jackie
Nine!
Jackie
[hesitant] Two....thousand!
[Auctioneer's monocle falls out in astonishment]
[Ratso and Finn are giving money to Tohru]
This is all we got Tohru.
Ratso; Think they take nunchuks?
[The Dark Hand enforcers have Jackie bound and strapped in his wheelchair near the water's edge.]
[Tohru pushes the wheelchair hard with his foot; it rolls forward and plunges into the water with a splash. Jackie sinks underwater still bound. Fade to black, then bubbles rise on the surface.]
Hope you haven't eaten for an hour. [waves mockingly]
[Jade, being held by the enforcers nearby, watches in horror] [gasp]
You! [points at Ratso] Fanboy. The doll. [points at Gnomecop atop a trash can]
GGnomecop
[investigating the trash can] sniff sniff TurboTroll is near...
[The enforcers run toward Gnomecop to catch him. Jade struggles in Tohru's hold, pulls out a TurboTroll toy, and gets Gnomecop's attention.]
GGnomecop
notices Gnomepower! [jumps over the enforcers toward Tohru; Jade slips free as Gnomecop distracts them]
Here he is~ and there he goes! [sticks TurboTroll in Tohru's pant leg; Gnomecop dives in after it in chase. Tohru spins around frantically trying to get Gnomecop out]
[Meanwhile, underwater: Jackie quickly unbinds himself from the wheelchair straps using his martial arts skills, kicks off the bottom with his good leg, and heads to the surface.]
[Jade runs and jumps in.]
Hang on, Jackie! [Jade cannonballs into the water without hesitation.]
[They miss each other initially underwater. Jade searches, sees only the empty wheelchair sinking.]
Jackie
Jade! Jade?
[Jackie swims back down and taps her on the shoulder underwater.]
[Jade gets a big startled jump/reaction at first.]
[She instantly switches to huge relief when she sees he's safe and okay. They share a quick relieved moment underwater, before surfacing together toward the pier. Once surfaced, they share another hug/relief moment.]
I have translated the inscription on the back of the talisman! A very perplexing riddle...
Jackie
'If activated, the noble Horse expels all alien forces within'.
I bet those 'alien forces' fly out and latch out onto human brains and turn people into mind-control zombies to conquer the world!
[Jackie and Uncle stare at her]
Uh, alien forces signal the Mother Ship to launch an invasion?
[Jackie and Uncle stare at her]
This... isn't the Martian talisman?
There is no such thing as Martians! The talismans are magic!
[Jackie Chan sees a Talisman in one of the eyes of Mt. Rushmore]
Jackie
Ah, what big eyes, you have. Don't blink Mr. President. [reaches inand gets the talisman, only to reveal it is the Snake Talisman] The Snake Talisman? We already got that one.
[the counterfit Talisman opens up and injects Jackie with the poison, causing Jackie to drop it below; a weakened Jackie climbs back up only to be greeted by Valmont] Valmont!
[lifts Jackie up] Upsie-daisy! [Jackie assumes a fighting stance, revealing his wound] Ah, snake bite! Could be fatal.
Jackie
You bring me all the way out here to poison me?
A rather appropriate lure, since the venom, now rushing through your veins, will soon turn you to stone.
Jackie Chan Adventures · 738 quotes
