Zim quotes from Invader Zim

Zim

Mission accomplished, my Tallest! I have rid this solar system of Mars!

Tallest Purple

I thought you were trying to destroy the Earth.

Zim

Oh! Yes. That! You heard wrong! This time I was trying to get rid of Mars. You know, just a little warm up before I destroy the humans! Yeah, see, I'll do Earth next! I'm an unstoppable death machine, you know.

You have fallen for our clever trap!

He sure did pa!

Zim

You threw me in a sack!

But enough philosophy.

Zim

But we haven't been talking about-

Let the hideous experiments begin!

We will begin by fusing you to this other human.

Zim

That's no human, that's a gopher!

Silence!

Zim

And then, THEN, Dib says, "RAR!" in front of the whole class! Filthy slug. Mrs. Bitters called on ME, understand? Filthy squirmy Dib! SQUIRMY!

What are you talking about? Who are you?

Zim

I can't believe the things that H-H-HUMAN has done to me. ME! [makes angry noises] DIB! [more angry noises]

Why are you following me? I don't even go to your school!

Zim

And the- OH! He makes me so mad! The horrible puny brain meat child. With his little glasses and his [angry noises] HEAD!

[runs into house and shuts door]

Zim

My name is Dib with my pointy hair. POINTY HAIR! I eat food and have stuff!

GIR

[gasps] It's got chicken legs!

Zim

Yes...chicken legs. It also possesses a new generation distortion cloaking system. You know what that means?

GIR

Oooh... [flips out then stops]

Zim

That means it turns invisible!

GIR

I had no idea.

Zim

I've put up with you long enough, Dib! Now fight an enemy you cannot see!

Dib

...You're right there.

Dib

There! Your mighty Irken cloaking device cloaks the robot, but not you.

Zim

LIES! Now behold the doom cannon!

Dib

I can't. It's invisible.

Zim

But you can see me?

Dib

That's what I said.

Zim

Oh, that's STUPID!

Dib

Really stupid.

Zim

You dare agree with me? Prepare to meet your horrible doom!

Zim

VICTORY!

Dib

What do you mean, "victory?" Your robot exploded and you didn't destroy me!

Zim

It was a trick! Yes! Eh... my plan was to... steal this camera from you! So you couldn't show these pictures! Ha!

Dib

Give it back! Come on!

Zim

[moving the camera back and forth between each of his hands] No. Uh-uh. No way. Uh-uh.

Dib

[snatches the camera from Zim] Victory for Earth!

Zim

You had the lens cap on.

Dib

I did not, I... [discovers that he really did have the lens cap on; frustrated] GAAAAAAGHH!

Zim

VICTORY! VICTORY FOR ZIM! [a part of the Megadoomer falls on top of him]

Dib

[a bird swoops down and steals the camera] Well, I liked that camera, but I guess this is a victory for me. Yeah. Or something. I'm going back to bed.

Zim

TAK! I'm glad you've stopped by, It gives me a chance to end our hideous relationship, and enjoy your shrill cry having been rejected by ZIM!!!!

You've got to be kidding!

Zim

I assure you I am quiet serious. Now cry! Cry like you've never cried.... before!

Zim

Yes, yes, so you blame me for your horrible life, blah, blah, blah, BIG DEAL!

This is about taking your mission, Zim, not revenge!

Zim

You're after revenge?!?

NOOOOOO! It's not about revenge! It's about taking what's rightfully mine. I should have been an invader! I should have been part of the Great Assigning! I shouldn't HAVE to be stealing THIS planet from YOU!

Zim

[pause] YOU'RE AFTER MY ROBOT BEE!!

NOOOOOOO!!!! Listen to me. Listen...carefully!

Zim

Hmm? Hmm? Hmmmmmm?

I'm a better invader than you could ever be. I blend in perfectly. The plan I have in store for this nasty rock will so impress the Tallest that they'll have no choice but to make me an invader.

Zim

WHAT IS THIS-- [lowers his tone] And what is this plan?

[laughs softly]

Zim

Yeah, yeah, I'm a master of comedy. Now tell me this plan!

Part One involves crippling your base, so that you could only watch... AS I RUIN YOUR LIFE!!!!

Zim

[horrified] MY BEAUTIFUL BASE!!!

Part Two is--

Zim

NOOOOOOOOOO, MY BEAUTIFUL BASE!!! NOOOOOOOOOO!!!

[irritated] Part Two is--

Zim

NOOOOOOOOOO, MY BEAUTIFUL BASE!!! NOOOOOOOOOO!!!

Part Two is--

Zim

NOOOOOOOOOO!!!

Part--

Zim

NOOOOOOOOOO!!!

Okay, I'm--

Zim

NOOOOOOOOOO!!!

Okay, I'm leaving now.

Zim

[calmly] But you didn't tell me your plan.

The great thing about your people, Dib, is that most of them don't notice. All they see is another faceless corporate venture, not a plan for world conquest!

Dib

Wait. Is there really a difference?

Zim

It's over, Tak! The earth is mine to devastate! And I've already promised the moon to GIR.

Dib

Zim! How did you know we'd be here?

Zim

I placed a tracking device on you!

Dib

Tracking device? Where?

GIR

Your head smells like a puppy!

Dib

You're just jealous that--

Zim

This has nothing to do with jelly!

Zim

I'm the only one here with the technology to decode the files!

Dib

And we're the only ones here with the files to be decoded!

GIR

And I'M... he he he. I dunno.

Dib

Your base, our disc, Zim.

Zim

As soon as we destroy Tak, I'm gonna feed your brains to my robot!

Dib

Deal!

GIR

Yay! Brains!

Zim

Once I have tainted the human's meat supply with filth, the planet will be ripe for the taking. Soon the name of Invader Zim will be synonymous with... DOOKIE! GIR! Bring me cows.

GIR

[in duty mode] Yes sir! [out of duty mode] I like dookie!

Zim

[voiceover] Sometimes I'm scared to think of what goes on in that insane head of yours...

[in GIR's mind] Dance with us, GIR! Dance with us into oblivion!

Zim

GIR! What have you done? This isn't information retrieval! Are you insane?!

GIR

[in duty mode] I have captured the enemy for meat testing. Praise me! Praise meeeee!!