Gibby Gibson quotes from iCarly

Sam

Hey, do you guys think it'd be possible to give a guy in a garbage can a wedgie?

Nah, not possible. Mm-mm.

Sam

Let's see.

Gibby

No. Sam, don't-- (she does) YEOW! IT'S POSSIBLE! OW, IT'S POSSIBLE! IT'S VERY, VERY POSSIBLE! (Sam stops briefly, looks at him and continues doing it)

Spencer

BOOM! (gives Gibby two awards)

Gibby

Two? You're getting faster.

Spencer

Never underestimate the power of shirtless European men in swimsuits!

Gibby

...I never do!

Gibby

Hi, guys.

Carly

Hey, Gibby.

Freddie

How's it going?

Gibby

Bad. Mr. Howard just gave me detention.

Carly

For what?

Gibby

For being too "Gibby".

Carly

How can you be too "Gibby"?

Gibby

That's what I said! But, you know, not everybody gets me.

Mr. Howard

Oh, I get you, Gibby. I get you like a rash. The question is how do I get rid of you?

Gibby

Baby powder?

Mr. Howard

That's double detention.

Gibby

But baby powder gets rid of rashes!

Mr. Howard

Triple detention!

Gibby

VOLCANO!!! [vomits in a nearby trash can]

Carly

Okay, you have no idea how psyched we are that you're back.

Principal Franklin

You are in big trouble, Carly! And so are you two! I was very clear yesterday when I told you that I did not want you-(Carly interrupts him) What, what?

Carly

He's gone!

Principal Franklin

(long pause) ...I love you guys. (the four start cheering and hi-fiving each other)

Gibby

(runs into the hall shirtless) YEAH! YEAH, UH-HUH! (the four look at him oddly, and the episode ends as they continue hi-fiving)

Gibby

Sorry, I squeezed the nozzle to hard.

Spencer

You're supposed to be making a light ocean spray, that felt like a whale peed in my face!

Sam

Use your face and body to protect me.

Gibby

Ah, like a human shield.

Sam

I was gonna say bullet monkey, but whatever tickles your peach.

Gibby

There's Spencer with a fake beard!

OY!

Mr. Stern

Rabbi Goldman!

Sam

[to Gibby] That was a real rabbi!

Gibby

I didn't know! I don't have cable!

Mr. Stern

Puckett, you just earned yourself triple detention. Come along, rabbi.

Gibby

How my hair look, Sam?

Sam

You look good, Gib.

Freddie

Gibby, this thing has gotten way outta- [Gibby smacks the coffee out of Freddie's hand] That was a Chai latte.

Gibby

Well, I'm gonna make you a DIE latte. [Freddie looks confused] Yeah. I said it!

Freddie

Nothing happened between me and Tasha! We were just talking and she--

Gibby

And you lost control and tried to kiss her up! I'm gonna break you.

Gibby

[To Freddie] I'm sorry I acted so turdy. [Holds out his hand] Bros?

Freddie

[Shakes Gibby's hand] Bros.

Gibby

Hey, Carly.

Carly

Yeah?

Gibby

Um– [Points on his foot] –is it weird if a guy grows hair between his toes?

Carly

Why? Do you?

Gibby

No.

Freddie

[Runs in] Carly! Did you see Sam's email?

Carly

No, what email?

Freddie

She's in jail!

Carly

What? What happened?

Freddie

[Shows Carly something on his phone] She was at the jiffy mart, buying a snack, and a guy cut in front of her. So she shoved a hot chili dog down his pants, and it turns out the guy was an ambassador from Mexico.

Carly

[Groans angrily] Sam! So then what happened?

Freddie

He yelled– [Speaks in Spanish] "Los frijoles calientes quema mis pantalones! Ohhhhh!"

Carly

No! I mean, with Sam!

Freddie

[Speaks in English] Oh. Uh, the cops showed up and took her down to juvie.

Freddie

Her mom's on her way there, but Sam says there's no way she's getting out till tomorrow.

Gibby

So you're canceling iCarly?

Freddie

Well, I don't see how we're gonna be able to do the show–

Carly

No, we're not canceling iCarly. We've never canceled the show, and my dad's watching it live tonight for the first time.

Gibby

[Confused] I thought Spencer was your dad.

Carly

[Annoyed] Gibby!

Freddie

Well, how are we gonna do the show without Sam?

Carly

[Gets an idea] Spencer!

Gibby

Normal, here I come. [Starts cutting hair between his toes]

Gibby

[Notices Candace] 'Sup?

Hi.

Carly

Okay, after the wet hair thing, play a couple more clips while I set up for "Hey, what am I licking?"

Freddie

'Kay.

Gibby

Who's gonna be the licker?

Carly

You. [Pulls Gibby away]

Gibby

[Excited] Awesome!

What is going on here?!

Spencer

Uh-oh! Baby was worried This would happen!

Spencer?

Spencer

[own voice] Could you give me Like five minutes And I'll be right down?

I've been waiting almost a half-hour down there, by myself! And what is all this anyway?

Carly

It's a live web show, and we refuse To break character!

Gibby

Who is this woman?! Off with her head!

Freddie

If her head does come off, might I please eat it?

Spencer

[Opens the door] Just a moment! [Opens the door to see that Gibby has arrived holding his sleeping bag] Gibster, what up, little weirdo?

Gibby

Not much. [Makes his way inside] Carly here?

Spencer

Nah, she just left with Freddie and Sam for Webicon. You can catch 'em if you hurry down–

Gibby

No, I don't need to catch 'em. Just wanted to return this sleeping bag. I don't need it anymore. [Throws Spencer the sleeping bag. Spencer catches it] You should probably wash that.

Spencer

Don't you need that for camp?

Gibby

Nah, I just found out I'm too old for camp.

Spencer

Too old?

Gibby

Yeah, once you turn 15, they won't let you go anymore.

Spencer

Aw. Well, I know how you feel. I remember when they said I wasn't allowed to go to camp anymore.

Gibby

'Cause you were too old?

Spencer

No.

Spencer

So if you can't go to camp, what are you gonna do?

Gibby

I don't know. [Sits down on the couch] Sit home, take a bath, watch reruns of Diff'rent Strokes.

Spencer

Hey. [Closes the door] How would you like to go to camp right here in this apartment?

Gibby

[Surprised] What you talking about, Spencer?

Spencer

[Takes a phone] I'm gonna call your mom and tell her you can come to Camp Spencer right here for the next few days.

Spencer

What do you say to that? [Starts to make a call]

Gibby

[Excited] I say "Dy-no-mite!"

Spencer

You watch a lot of classic TV?

Gibby

[Confused] What do you mean?