Spencer Shay quotes from iCarly

Nice game.

Spencer

Thanks. Back atcha.

You wanna go for a ride?

Spencer

I would love to. [sees Carly, Sam, and Freddie looking at him] But, this is all I can give you right now. [kisses Sasha]

[steps on the elevator] Call me.

Spencer

We'll see.

Spencer

Carly? Carls? Hey?

Carly

(sleepy) Hmmmmmm?

Spencer

Did you play Pak-Rat all night?

Carly

Mm-hmm. It's so fun.

Spencer

Yeah. Alright, kiddo. Go on up to bed.

Carly

Carry me. (he does) It's such a fun game.

Spencer

I know.

Spencer

CARLY! CARLY, COME DOWN HERE! CARLY! CARLY!

Carly

Spencer, it's 6:00 in the morning.

Spencer

I know, but I've got big news!

Carly

I can't take you seriously when you're wearing duck pajama pants. (Spencer pulls down his pants) Duck boxers?

Spencer

[looking at his ribs in the form of a necklace] You ate my ribs?

Sam

I made the bones into a necklace! [Spencer lifts the bones out of the Styrofoam to see she did just that]

Hello, Spencer.

Spencer

Hi, Mrs. Benson.

Any word on how Lewbert's doing?

Spencer

He's ok. I've got the kids keeping an eye on him.

Well, I think it's very nice that you're covering for Lewbert until he's feeling better. [Mrs. Benson puts her hand on the desk] Why is this counter wet and sticky?

Spencer

Oh, well--

Wet and sticky is very icky. Sticky and wet makes mommy upset.

Spencer

I don't know how to respond to that.

--come back.

What is that?

Spencer

Oh, it's an old C.B. Radio. I found it back there with Lewbert's stuff. I just plugged it in and it works great.

A C.B. Radio. Like the kind that truck drivers use to talk to each other?

Spencer

Yeah, you wanna try?

No!

Spencer

Oh, come on. It's really fun. All you do is just press this-- [Mrs. Benson interrupts him]

I don't like wireless transceivers. [She walks upstairs]

Spencer

Hello, all you truckers out there. This is the doorman looking for someone to jaw with. [Rock N' Rodney replies back]

Hey, hey there, doorman! You got Rock N' Rodney on this end, come on back.

Spencer

Well, hey, they’re Rock N' Rodney. I'm new to the CB Radio world and I was just-- [suddenly the fire he put out comes back and he puts down the speaker] HOW?!

Spencer

Quit that!

Chuck

What if I don't?!

Hey, hey! What's going on?

Spencer

Is he your son?

Yeah.

Spencer

Well, he's been playing a racquetball in here even though I keep telling him to knock it off.

That's it. You're grounded.

Spencer

Yeah! [Chuck angrily climbs up on the counter and attacks him until Mr. Chambers pulls him away] Get him off me!

Chuck

[threateningly] I'LL GET YOU!

Spencer

Have fun (being) locked in your room!

Spencer

Come on, Mrs. Benson. It'll be fun. [talks to his battery-powered hat] What's that? I think I hear Tokyo calling Toki-you.

Freddie

Come with us to Japan. You love sushi.

Marissa

I suppose it would be nice to try a California roll from where it all started.

Spencer

Here, let me see. [checking at the plane tickets] [little shock and surprise] Okay, great, these are first-class tickets. I can just trade these for five coach seats and we're all set.

Marissa

[sighs] All right, so if we're all going to Japan, there's lots of preparations to be done. We'll need passports, fresh underwear, a voltage converter for your night light.

Freddie

I don't need the night light anymore. [to Marissa] So you're sure the night light will work in Japan?

Marissa

We'll make sure. [they head into their apartment]

Spencer

Hey. We gotta be at the airport in 45 minutes.

Sam

I better finish packing.

Carly

What are those, snacks?

Sam

Uh-huh.

Carly

"Fat Cakes?"

Sam

These are Low-Fat Fat Cakes.

Spencer

Whoa! That was intense.

Carly

Hey, your collar broke.

Spencer

Oh, yeah! At least now I don't have to worry about…(The collar shocks him in his hand) [screams] [breaks the collar in two]

Freddie

I think Freight Dog threw our luggage out of the plane.

Carly

What makes you think that… [luggages fall down from the plane]

Sam

The Fat Cakes are okay.

Freddie

Hey, did anybody see my red backpack come down? [Fred's backpack hits Marissa Benson] Oh!

Carly

Okay, I think that's everything.

Spencer

You guys wanna go get some breakfast?

Carly

Where?

Spencer

Galini's pie shop!

Carly

Pie for breakfast?

Spencer

No, no, don't say "Pie for breakfast?", say "PIE FOR BREAKFAST?!"

Spencer

I gotta have some coconut cream pies to go.

Eiiiy! I got to see if we have enough.

Spencer

What? You always have enough. Why would you say you don't have enough? Now I'm scared. What?

What do you say we move the party to the couch?

Spencer

Uhhhhh..... the couch is broken.

Well, why don't we go break it some more!

Spencer

Carly, I think you better calm down.

Carly

I don't want to calm down!

She's crazy.

Carly

I heard that, Rona!

Can I get you some ibuprofen?

Carly

NO! (to Spencer) I just want you back! I want you the way you're supposed to be! I want you to make crazy sculptures, and to accidentally set stuff on fire, and to wear socks that light up. (to Mrs. Benson) And I want you to be single and lonely again! (to Nevel) And I want you to leave the country... (to Rona) And...nobody even likes you! (to Spencer) And... I want Sam back! (to Freddie) And I want you to be my friend and say "in five, four, three, two," but not the one, which I never understood, but I liked it! And... I just want my life back! (runs upstairs crying)

Nevel

Well. Bah, humbug.

Spencer

What was that about?!

Gibby

Well, Carly said, "If Spencer tries to be lazy, throw a cup of water in his face to perk him up."

Spencer

Right. Well, THAT WAS HOT COFFEE!

Gibby

Oh, well can I have a cup of water?

Spencer

NO!