Sam Puckett quotes from iCarly

Sam

Those dingo people are dead!

Carly

What are we going to do?

Sam

We're gonna go find them and kick them in their Dingoes!

Sam

Okay, let's shake 'em up.

Carly

What is that?

Sam

A sock full of butter.

Carly

For what?

Sam

For swinging! I can brain an elephant with this thing!

Carly

We're not gonna go in there and start hitting TV writers with a big buttery sock! We're gonna be professional and firm.

Sam

Fine, but if they deny stealing from iCarly, I'm gonna get swingy with this thing!

Carly

Not unless I say it's okay.

Sam

May I get swingy?

Carly

Yes.

Freddie

I could fit a whole editing bay in there...

Sam

You could fit a body in there...

Sam

If one needed to!

Freddie

What did you do to my locker?!

Sam

MY locker.

Freddie

OUR locker!

Sam

When did you turn into my wife?

Sam

I call this video "Gullible Freddie." Check this out.

Freddie

Hey! Why aren't you guys dressed as clowns?! [Carly and Sam burst out laughing]

Sam

What do you mean?

Freddie

I got an email from the school telling me that today was Clown Day. Didn't you guys get-- you guys sent me the email.

Carly

[points to Sam] She made me!

Freddie

Wait, is this on camera? GIBBY, COME HERE! [screen goes to static]

Sam

How could you make out with Freddie?

He's adorable!

Carly

I can't believe you two are sisters.

Me neither.

Freddie

[reading the comments] "That Carly chick is out of her mind." "BRING ON THE FIGHT!!" "Shelby would destroy that twig."

Sam

Twig?

Carly

I'm not a twig! ...And I'm getting' curvier every day!

Freddie

[Staring at her body] I know.

Carly

Eyes up, dude.

Carly, you're seriously gonna fight Shelby Marx?

Carly

Well, yeah, but it's just for fun...

Do you know how hard she can punch and kick? She knocked that Russian girl's front teeth out with one kick to her jaw. Poor Russian girl.

Sam

Yeah! And now she talks like blah, blah, blah, blah!

Sam

That was awesome! Shelby looks like she really wants to hurt you.

Carly

SHE DOES!

Sam

Oh... well, that's bad.

Freddie

You're making too big a deal out of this.

Carly

No, I'm dead. Shelby Marx is gonna destroy me.

Sam

Carly--

Carly

Everyone said, "Oh, you should fight Shelby Marx. It'll be fun" WELL IT'S NOT FUN NOW, IS IT?!?! No, now she is so angry she wants to kill me and wants to kick me and punch me in my head until I talk like BLUH BLUH BLUH BLUH BLUH!

Sam

Well, you shouldn't have been attacked her grandmother!

Carly

I didn’t attack anyone! You started a ruckus with your dumb trash talking idea!

Sam

(laughs) Ruckus...

Carly

It's a word

Sam

Hey, do you guys think it'd be possible to give a guy in a garbage can a wedgie?

Nah, not possible. Mm-mm.

Sam

Let's see.

Gibby

No. Sam, don't-- (she does) YEOW! IT'S POSSIBLE! OW, IT'S POSSIBLE! IT'S VERY, VERY POSSIBLE! (Sam stops briefly, looks at him and continues doing it)

Freddie

[to Shelby] I made you some raisin bread toast.

Sam

Oooh, this is pathetic!

Shelby

Sorry, raisins kinda creeps me out.

Freddie

There you go, raisin-free.

Shelby

You also creep me out...

Carly

What happened tonight? You promised you were gonna go easy on me!

Shelby

You promised it was an accident when you tackled my grandmother.

Carly

It was!

Shelby

Don't lie! I saw a video and heard you and Sam planning to do it!

Carly

What video? We never planned it.

Freddie

Are you dating anyone? [Shelby looks at him, and Sam pulls him away so they can fight]

Shelby

All I know is that some kid came to my gym and played me a video showing you guys at the press conference, talking about how you were gonna push my grandmother down.

Sam

What kid?

Shelby

I don't know! About that tall, our age, round head, Polite but super creepy.

Nevel.

Carly

Now I get it!

Freddie

Nevel must have made a fake video!

Sam

That little nub.

Carly

Maybe he's still here.

Sam

Go check it out!

Freddie

Right! (he and Gibby run off to find Nevel)

Carly

...Nevel's head is kinda round.

Sam

Like a melon.

Carly

Yeah.