Carly Shay quotes from iCarly

Sam

First off, Carly said the shirt was no big deal. And the tickets I got were for Cuttlefish, a concert that Carly told me she was dying to go to. It's her favorite band.

Freddie

Let the record show that Carly is fond of Cuttlefish.

Sam

So yeah, I traded the shirt, but it was to get something Carly wanted a lot. Something the two of us could've done together. And Carly refused to go to the concert so--

Carly

I would've gone with you if you'd just apologized.

Sam

Um, she interrupted me. Yank her ponytail.

Freddie

Nah, I'm gonna allow it.

Sam

Why?

Freddie

Because I love her.

Well, you know when you put out a new shoe, they always have a few minor problems.

Sam

"Minor"?

Freddie

What would be a major problem?

Carly

If they came to life in the middle of the night and ate your family?

I live alone.

[while the Daka Employees are giving the group money] Blueberry muffin?

[takes one, but the Daka President slaps his hand] I'm stupid.

Sam

Keep it coming...

Freddie

This is good.

Carly

This is fun. This is a fun time.

Mr. Stern

Who pulled that fire alarm?

Carly

It was me.

Mr. Stern

Well, thank goodness you did, the microwave in the teacher's lounge just burst into flames.

Carly

We're supposed to be doing the iCarly 50th Webshow Spectacular from detention in five hours and Sam's the only one who's gonna be there. Why's it so hard to get detention?! [furiously slams her locker closed]

Mr. Howard

Who slammed that locker?

Carly

Me?

Mr. Howard

Detention!

Carly

Really?

Mr. Howard

Tonight!

Carly

Yay!

Mr. Howard

Yay?

Carly

Darn...

Mr. Howard

I have ears like a hawk! I distinctly heard laughter! And I hate laughter!

Sam

I thought you hated your wife.

Mr. Howard

Her, too! Now keep your mouths shut! [closes the door and leaves]

Carly

[as she and Sam look at the camera; sarcastically] Isn't he "charming"?

Mr. Howard

[after catching the students; angrily and confused] A video camera?! Turtles?! Burritos?! What is going on here?!

Carly

[hesitantly] The iCarly 50th Web-Show Spectacular? [Sam hesitantly presses 5th button which plays a recording of a cheering crowd; Carly angrily snatches the remote from Sam]

Mr. Howard

[angrily; stupidly thinking he had won] You're all really in trouble now. I am talking suspension! I am talking expulsion! Deportation! [Principal Franklin appears, but Mr. Howard doesn't notice] And you can all start with 500 push-ups! I don't care what Principal Franklin has to say about it.

Principal Franklin

[sternly] (Oh, really?) You don't?

Mr. Howard

[angrily] No! I-- [sees Principal Franklin; alarmed] Oh! [embarrassed] Oh, dear. Pr-- Principal Franklin.

Carly

What are you doing here?

Principal Franklin

Well, I was at home, watching the iCarly 50th Web-Show Spectacular. [to Carly and Sam; pleased] Congratulations, by the way. My kids and I love your show.

Carly

Wow.

Sam

Awesome.

Principal Franklin

[becomes serious again] While I was watching, I heard Mr. Howard...call me a weak, spineless fool.

Mr. Howard

[horrified] No, no, no! I Said...uh, sweet. Stylish. Cool.

Principal Franklin

[not believing Mr. Howard] (No, you didn't.) In my office.

Mr. Howard

But I--

Principal Franklin

[sternly] Now.

Mr. Howard

[walks out of detention room; defeated] Why does everything always happen to me?

Carly

So, now what?

Principal Franklin

Well, I suppose Mr. Howard has tortured you all enough. Go home.

Carly

Okay, we're just about done.

Sam

I'm Sam...

Carly

I'm Carly...

Principal Franklin

And I'm Ted.

Principal Franklin

[Sam almost pushes 5th button; politely] May I?

Sam

[politely] Second button from the bottom. [Principal Frank pushes said button]

♪ It's iCarly's 50th Web-Show Spectacular. ♪

Bye! Keep visiting iCarly.com. Don't forget it.

Freddie

And we're clear.

Freddie

Do you really think Sam's gonna make me get a tattoo of her face?

Carly

I don't know, but if she does, won't your mom freak?

Freddie

She freaked when I spilled one tiny drop of mustard on my church pants! [Carly laughs] What?

Carly

"Church pants!"

Sam

Okay, Freddie's never late for iCarly. Are you worried?

Carly

If I wasn't worried, would I be drinking water with this expression on my face?! [she quickly takes a sip of water with a frantic expression]

Carly

Why?!

Sam

Why what?

Carly

I'm not playing! Why did you guys intentionally sabotage my interview?! (Sam and Freddie take sips of their drinks) Don't nonchalantly sip your drinks! Answer me!

Carly

Who's the dude?

Sam

David, I hired him to read the book to me.

Carly

Then why is he rubbing your feet?

Sam

Because he was late. So, I started reading it myself and it is fantastic! These things are great! It's like TV in your head!

Carly

Well, I'm glad you like reading. But I still don't see why David's rubbing your feet.

Sam

I already paid the kid; I had to make him do something.

[pleading] Please call my mother.

[to Sam] You're fired.

What?!

Sam

Hold on, hold on. If I'm fired, do I get paid for the whole week?

Yeah!

Sam

Laters. [walks out with rib]

Carly

Don't thump him!

Don't even talk to me.

Freddie

No, I toasted your bagel, cleaned your fish tank, got hacked on by Amber Tate's rat dog, and I even rubbed ice over a sweaty guy's stomach, but I will not plunge your toilet!

Come on, you're my supervising producer.

Freddie

Well, I ain't supervising what you produced in there! (to Carly) Sorry, Carly. I quit.

Carly

Well, now, we've lost Sam, Freddie, and Harper.

Oh, everything's gonna be fine.

Carly

"Fine"? This isn't even iCarly anymore!

Oh, come on, how can you say that.. You know, you're right. This isn't iCarly anymore.

Freddie

[holding up a bunch of love notes] These are love notes.

Carly

Uh-oh, from Shannon?

Freddie

Uh-huh! And try taking a test while she's staring at you like this! [makes flirty poses while smiling suggestively, imitating Shannon.]

Carly

Please never make those faces again.

Freddie

What's it gonna take to make Shannon understand? I don't wanna go out with her!