Carly Shay quotes from iCarly

We're gonna need to speak to a parent or legal guardian.

Carly

Spencer!

Spencer

[from another room] I am in the bathtub!

Freddie

[to security officers] Are we under arrest?

Carly

[to the security officers] Are you going to take us to juvie?

Freddie

[scared] I don't want to go to juvie!

Carly

They're gonna take us to juvie! [they both start moaning in fear]

Carly

[picks up show idea card] "Carly and Sam roll Freddie in bread crumbs and bake him at 350 degrees"?

Sam

Just until he's golden brown!

Sam

Hey, can I sleep over tonight?

Carly

You don't want to go home?

Sam

Nah... When my mom buys a new bikini, she usually likes to wear it around the house for a few days to "break it in." If you're my friend, you won't make me look at that.

Carly

Electrical wiring just isn't your thing.

Spencer

No, it is not.

Carly

[reading the band's letter to Spencer] "Dear Splinter."

Spencer

He never did learn my name.

Carly

"Thanks for getting us booked on Seattle Beat. You rock for that. Unfortunately, your drumming is suckish." Aw.

Spencer

That's where I said "Aw", too.

Carly

"So we've decided to go ahead with our appearance on Seattle Beat, but we're kicking you out of the band. Also, we took the rest of the deviled eggs and stole your drums. Take care, Blake." Well, that wasn't nice at all

Spencer

Nope.

Carly

I'm sorry.

Spencer

Thanks. I'm just sitting here, listening to their music.

Carly

Well, don't do that! They're mean people.

Spencer

I know. But their music is so good!

Carly

Spencer, it's been four hours. I think you need to get off the kitchen table?

Spencer

Why? Is Santa Claus here to tell me I'm ugly and have no friends?

Carly

Spencer, get up. [tries to move Spencer] Come on, get off the table.

Spencer

[at the same time] No... I'm comfy right... [screams and falls to the floor] Ow.

Carly

You weren't supposed to fall on the floor.

Spencer

Well, you know... gravity.

Freddie

Well... I know how we could get back at her.

Carly

Huh?

Freddie

You and I should start dating. That way--

Carly

[irritated] FREDDIE!

Freddie

I know!

Freddie

Hello, ladies, or should I say lady and Sam.

Sam

[Carly takes her cheese in a can out of her hand] Hey!

Carly

You can have this back when you learn to use squirt-able cheese responsibly.

Hey, what's going on over here?

Sam

Oh, Carly's brother is making a movie.

Check out this dude! (grabs the alien from the set)

Carly

NO, DON'T TOUCH THAT!!

Spencer

[coming downstairs] Okay, Mr. Space hamster, we're -- [Drops his tools in horror] OHHHHHH MYYYYYYY GOOOOOOOOD!!!!! MY MOVIE IS RUINED! I have to start all over again! And my deadline's in less than 24 hours!

Ha, ha, look, its arm came off!

Spencer

Ha, ha, yeah... Why don't you stay for dinner and RIP MY HEART OUT!?

Carly

What are you doing?

Kiss me.

Carly

What?!

Sam doesn't have to know. [tries to kiss Carly, but she flicks him] Ow! Did you just thump me?

Freddie

Hey Spencer, how's the--

Spencer

CARLY, FREDDIE'S HERE! 14,325... [Carly runs down the stairs]

Carly

I'm freaking out, Freddie! Freaking out! [pulls Freddie to the kitchen]

Freddie

Did you talk to Jonah?

Carly

Yeah, and he tried to kiss me! He totally tried to kiss me!

Freddie

No way!

Carly

Yeah!

Freddie

Are you sure Jonah tried to kiss you?

Carly

Well, let's see. He said, "Kiss me," then puckered his lips. So, call me crazy, but I think the boy wanted some Carly-kissing!

Freddie

That jerk! No one tries to kiss my girl! [Carly gives him a look] (Sorry. Let me rephrase that.) No one tries to kiss you!

Carly

We got cereal.

Sam

Milk?

Carly

Out of milk.

Sam

I'll use root beer.

Spencer

You guys? Any reason I just found this in my shower?

Carly

Oh, my gosh.

Sam

A chick.

Spencer

Yeah, I picked him up thinking he was a bar of soap. Good thing I realized before… [stops] Never mind.

Sam

But how could there be a…

Carly

Our chicks haven't hatched yet.

Sam

Or…

Carly

WE'RE MOTHERS! [Carly and Sam scream as they run upstairs]

Freddie

I was watching the egg cam. I can't believe they already hatched. Aw, man, did Sam eat 'em?

Sam

I wouldn't eat baby chicks. Raw.

Carly

They escaped.

Freddie

What?

Sam

Spencer found one in the bathroom downstairs, so the other ones could be anywhere in this whole apartment.

Freddie

Wait. I thought newborn chicks have to stay in their incubator.

Carly

They do.

Sam

How long can they be out?

Carly

I don't know. Let's go online and find out. Hurry.

Carly

Just walk towards me, you nutty little chick!

Sam

Try to grab him!

Carly

[sarcastically] Wow, if only I'd thought of that!

Freddie

It says that baby chicks need to be kept at 90 degrees.

Carly

What's the temperature in here?

Spencer

72.

Carly

Turn the heat up to 90!

Spencer

90 degrees?

Sam

No, 90 pickles. Yes, 90 degrees!

Spencer

No need to be hurtful.