Carly[looks at Freddie] Look, having Sam in your life is like owning a wild chimp...
FSFreddie and Sam
[both look confused]
Carly
Sure, she is unpredictable; she can go berserk and chew your foot off. But if you keep her clean and well fed, she's adorable [puts her arm around Sam] and cool and tons of fun.
Carly
[interrupts Freddie] She said she was sorry! And she really meant it.
Carly
Sam loves you! [looks at Sam waiting for her to speak then nudges her]
Carly
[steps to the side and gestures for Sam to kiss Freddie then pushes them closer together]
[smiles lovingly back at him]
Carly
[pushes them together to kiss]
SFSam and Freddie
[kiss for 10 seconds]
[to Carly] You see this one is an exact replica of a 1952 Santa Fe Trudgemaster.
Carly
[sarcastically] Wow.
You see these 4 rivets right here? A 1952 has 6 rivets.
Carly
Hey, I'm not gonna lie, I'm super bored by this.
Well, you wouldn't be so bored if you had come to my train club meeting to watch this baby in action.
Carly
Hmm, I'm pretty sure I woulda been.
[to Carly] Hey Carls. [to Freddie] Hey Pretty Baby.
Hey Lil' Samantha. [Sam and Freddie kiss]
Carly
Alright, let's cool it with the public display of affection.
C'mon. We haven't kissed in two days.
Carly
Why didn't you guys kiss over the weekend?
Because we didn't see each other.
Carly
You didn't go play trains with him on Saturday night?
Naah. My mom and I went out to dinner and then we did some shopping. But we're gonna hang out after school right?
Can't. I gotta go with my mom to her lady doctor. And I thought you said you had soccer practice?
Carly
You joined the soccer team?
Naah. Me and Wendy are just gonna use golf clubs to hit balls out towards the field.
Carly
During practice?
[gives her a no-duh kind of look] That's when the soccer girls are out in the open.
Carly
[to Sam and Freddie] Okay, so you guys aren't gonna hang out together today and you didn't see each other at all this weekend?
SFSam and Freddie
[shake their heads no]
Carly
Isn't that kinda weird?
[to Carly] We're just not into the same kinda things.
[to Carly] Diff'rent stokes baby.
Carly
But you're a couple now.
Carly
[to Sam] So part of dating is you learning to like stuff he likes [to Freddie] and you learning to like stuff she likes.
[to Sam, pats her on the back] Well, I got another meeting with my Model Train Club on Wednesday night. Wanna come?
[leans over to Carly] Should I be polite and lie?
Carly
[to Sam] Yes.
[goes back over to Freddie] I'd love to Baby.
[puts his arm around Sam] Aww, that's my little fibber.
[Takes deep breath] A buh buh buh buh [gives Freddie a kiss on the cheek]
Carly
Sam! Sam!
Too late! I already put my tongue in the pudding cup. [puts her tongue back into the pudding cup]
Carly
I don't care about the pudding cup.
Carly
We all have to go to Olympia next week for Nora's parole hearing.
Carly
For wh-? For to make sure that they keep that crazy girl in prison!
Maybe they should let her go?
Carly
What?! Why?!
Look, I've been to prison. It's not fun in there.
Yeah, and maybe when Nora trapped us she was like, depressed or something?
Carly
Yeah, well, I was bummed when I didn't get asked to junior prom, but did I lure the cast of 'Full House' into my basement and torture Uncle Jessie!
Man, I'm so dang sick of this!
Carly
What are you doing?
Putting on a suit so I can go home.
Dude, you don't have to keep pretending to be Mr. Perfect for Freddie's mom.
If my mom sees how T-Bo really is, she's never gonna let him stay in our house! [turns to face T-Bo who looks offended] No offence.
Oh I'm not offended. I feel all warm inside knowing that your mom would be disgusted if she knew the real me.
It's not that it's... yeah it's that.
Haha. [sarcastically] That's nice, let's all just pretend that T-Bo doesn't have feelings. [walks out of the Shay apartment]
Hey Teebs, wanna see what I got?
Carly
Where've you been?
The mall! With my head up inside something for almost two hours!
Please say it was a horse.
Uh, nope. Haha. But it was inside this really cool machine, that made... this! [gets out a fake version of his own head]
Carly
Woah!
It's an exact replica of my own head!
Blow minds! Look awesome!
Carly
Wasn't it expensive?
Where'd you get the money?
From that diaper commercial I did.
Carly
Oh yeah.
[moves a milk carton off the coach and sits down next to Spencer] I love that.
Carly
Hey, did you see the email we got about freaky Nora?
Yeah, it's nice that they're letting her out.
Carly
What?! K, what is the matter with everyone?! That girl kidnapped us and beat the fudge out of you!
Look, I'm forgiving, and I like chinese food. That's who I am. [lifts up his dummy head] That's who we are. [nods both his real and fake head]
Carly
Well sorry, but we're all going to that parole hearing, and we're all gonna tell the judge that Nora needs to be kept in prison.
[Sniffs his fake head] Ummm, I love that new head smell.
JMJudge Moyle
Alright; Nora Dershlit, you may speak on your own behalf.
Thank you judge Moyle. [sits down] The word 'sorry' doesn't even begin to express how terrible I feel for.. for what I did to the iCarly's. People who I only wanted to respect me, [Gibby begins to get out his fake head but Sam then makes him put it away] to like me, and to accept me as a person and a chicken lover. I'm not worthy of freedom, I deserve to rot in my cell. It's, not a joyful life but, not much worse than the life I used to have. At least now I'm surrounded by other prisoners so, in a way, I finally have friends. Oh, I'm sorry, mom and dad!
[Nora's mother starts to cry]
JMJudge Moyle
The victims will now have a chance to speak.
Carly
Thank you Judge. [turns to Nora] Look Nora. What you did was- [Nora's mother interrupts with her crying] Without.. without consequences- [Nora interrupts with a guilty noise] A person never learns- [Nora interrupts once again with a gulity noise] Oh, just let her go, let her go! [Hugs Sam and starts crying]
Shhh, it's ok, shut up, shut up. [tries to comfort Carly]
[Get's his head out once again and shoves it in a lady's face] Wanna smell my head?
JMJudge Moyle
Nora Dershlit. Trapping the stars of a webshow in your basement, is a serious crime. But since your victims- [stops after noticing Gibby's fake head] What is that?!
Oh, haha. This is an exact replica of my head! Is it blowing your mind?
JMJudge Moyle
Yes. [gets back on subject] Nora. These nice iCarly kids have forgiven you for what you did. And since your life up to this point has been truly.. pathetic, this court takes pity on you. [clicks his pen and starts writing] Nora Dershlit is hereby granted parole, to be immediately released, to the custody of her parents.
NSNora's Parents
Oh, thank goodness! Yes!
JMJudge Moyle
Balif, remove her handcuffs.
[Nora's handcuffs are removed and she kisses her mom and dad.]
Oh, you guuyyyss! [rushes over and hugs the iCarly gang]
IGiCarly gang
Yayyy... [sarcastically]
Oh, I dunno what to say! After what I did to you iCarly's on my 16th birthday, you came all the way here today and helped me regain my freedom!
Oh, you don't have to thank us.
Carly
We're just happy you're a better person now.
NSNora's Mother
Come on Nora. We have a surprise Norwegian supper waiting for you back at home.
NSNora's Father
Yes, baby.
NSNora's Mother
And, we invited all your classmates from school.
[gasps] And they're all coming?!
NSNora's Mother
None of them are.
Oh, well, Carly, Sam, Freddie, Gibby, Gibby's head, would you all, please, come?
[The iCarly gang begin making excuses on why they can't go.]
Well, that's ok. I guess it will just be me, my mom and my dad.
NSNora's Father
Sorry, I can't make it, baby.
NSNora's Father
I wanna go camping, alone, tonight. [kisses her forehead]
Oh, I guess it will just be supper for the two of us then. [looks at the iCarly's really upset before heading home]
[The iCarly gang look at each other feeling really bad and sorry for Nora]
Carly
Uh, okaayy, we'll come to your Norwegian supper.
You will?! All of you will?
Oh, yay! Yay for days! Haha!
BBaliff
Hey, uh, has anybody here seen my taser?
Carly
Sam.
Oh! Is this your taser? [gets out the taser from her bag and gives it back]
Oh, I'm home! This is where I belong, back in the bosom of my youth!
[laughing with Freddie] Ha, Bosom.
I know. [giggle with Gibby]
[Maurice clucks]
Maurice! Oh, Maurice, I missed you so much! Give me some beak! [kisses Maurice]
Carly
This place brings back the memories, huh?
Yep. Hey, Nora, remember when your clown had an aneurism, or should I say, clownurism?
NSNora's Mother
Ok, kids, we don't need to talk about that terrible day! Not when we have this beautiful buffet of Norwegian foods. [brings everyone round the table of food, and takes of the foil from the food]
Yeahh, what exactly are, 'Norwegian Foods'?
NSNora's Mother
Well, we have lutefisk.
It's dry cod fish soaked in lie solution for several days.
NSNora's Mother
And then we have warm tongue with flan.
[Nora's mother takes of the foil of the desert]
[gasps] Beef cookies and cream! [gasps again]
[Freddie looks disgusted whilst getting out his phone]
Ok, [picks up a lutefisk] even I can't eat this chiz! [and throws it back down again disgusted]
Hey, there's no way we're gonna make the last train back to Seattle.
Carly
I'll just text Spencer and tell him to come pick us up. [gets out her phone and texts Spencer] "Hey, pick us up from Nora's at about 9 o'clock-"
Try this monkfish liver! [shoves a plate of Norwegian food in Sam and Carly's faces]
[Sam stands there with a disgusted look on her face]
Carly
"..Or sooner."
Carly
[walks up to the TV] Spencer! Spencer!!
Oh, silly Carly, he can't hear you.
Would you stop that wheel?!
Oh, I'd be glad to. [stops the wheel]
Arggghhhhh..... Oh, great, it's stopped spinning.. now I can puke.
No need to watch that. [turns off the TV]
Don't turn it off, it was just getting good!
Carly
Nora... you're a nutcase!
[stands up on the couch] The proper term is disturbed, lonely, socio-path.
Look, dude, we're the ones who got you out of jail!
True.. but first, you tainted the memory of my 16th birthday party! So now, we're going to undo the taint. Mother, please fetch our party guests!
NSNora's Mother
[while doing weird and uncool hand gestures] BRB!
Carly
You're the one who ruined the memory of your own birthday party!
Everything would’ve been cool if you'd just let us go home afterwards!
Instead of you and your stupid chicken locking us in your basement!
You will never, besmirch the name of my chicken. You apologize to Maurice right now!
I will not, sniff it! But I will give Carly's brother, the spins.
[Nora's starts spinning Spencer's wheel again]
Oh no, It's turning again, what's.. happening!?
Carly
Just apologize to the chicken!
Urghh. [walks over and bends down to Maurice] I'm sorry that I bespired your name by calling you stupid. And that I've eaten thousands of your relatives.
[Nora stops Spencer from spinning]
Thank you, Sam. Now let's all wear party hats, there's some right over there!
Carly
We're not wearing party hats.
[They all rush over and quickly put on the hats]
[The other three stare at Gibby]
Why are you guys staring at me?
You said, "Wait a second."
Oh, yeah! Uh, there's 4 of us and 1 of Nora, so let's just take the remote away from her.
Ooooh, bad idea. See if any iCarly's make a sudden move, I hit this special red button, and Spencer spins at top speed until his brain turns to goo.
Carly
Goo?!
Yes, goo! Haha! And you won't be able to stop it.
Huuhhhh. She's really thought this through.
Yes, prison gives you lots of time to think, and to plan, and to not shower.
[All stand there with disgusted faces once again]
Carly
Ok, what are we gonna do?!
[starts walking towards her bag] I'll tell you what we're gonna do. As soon as those two freaks walk back in here... [gets out and starts swinging the butter sock]
Carly
No, no butter sock.
You can't attack them as long as Spencer's on that wheel in the basement or else Nora's just gonna spin him again.
Carly
And anyway that butter sock is gross!
I change the butter once a month!
Carly
Do you really?
Man, there is no way to get this window open.
Hey, I know how Santa Claus would get out of here.
Carly
Oh, the chimney!
[the three of them rush over to the chimney.]
No. [strokes the dummy's hair] On a reindeer.
Carly
We thought you meant climbing up the chimney.
Urgh, just stuff yourself up there and go for help!
Carly
Wa, wa, wa, wait! The Dershilts will notice he's gone!
No. 'Cause Gibby's gonna be taking a nap [Pulls out Gibby's fake head] on the couch.
iCarly · 611 quotes
