Taub and Thirty-One...
Thirty-One?
Oh, I'm sorry, I thought that either way was good with you.
S4 E13No More Mr. Nice Guy
[House and Amber have brought their 'custody dispute' over Wilson to Cuddy's office.]
[to Cuddy] You are King Solomon. [points to Wilson] If you want us to cut him in half, we're cool with that.
My boyfriend's too much of a wuss to make the call for himself. [turns to Wilson] And I mean that with all the love in the world.
I'm gonna piss off one of them and they both scare me.
[reading House's performance review] A disturbingly large proportion of your comments are either racist or sexist.
That top makes you look like an Afghani prostitute... would be an example of that.
[to Dr. House] You were wrong.
Why do people say that with such pleasure? It's very hurtful, you know.
S4 E14Living the Dream
As I suspected, you have significant losses in the upper right quadrant of your visual field.
EGEvan Greer
Are you serious?
No, it's a joke. Two guys go into a bar and one has significant losses in the upper right quadrant of his visual field. And the other one says, 'You're gonna need an MRI to confirm the type and location of the tumor.'
[The team is watching DVDs for research]
Does sound a little forced, could be stiffening in his tongue, which is a symptom of myxoedema.
It's not the tongue, it's the dialogue. I think I dated that nurse though... :[Dr. House looks at her] ...no.
We should have him spend a night in the sleep lab, see if he gets a reflex erection.
Confirmation is for wimps and altar boys! We don't need to wait for a reflex. If he can't get engorged the way god intended, he can't get engorged. [looks at Dr. Cameron]
I'm not showing him my boobs.
Lack of response to your chest tells us nothing. Thirteen, show him y... [he glances at Thirteen's chest] ...I gotta find a decent set of knockers around here. [he wanders off]
Your porn is in the second drawer.
Dr. House. I don't think we've met.
CDr. Conway
Dr. Jamie Conway. I've heard your name.
Most people have. It's also a noun.
CDr. Conway
Heard about House's patient. Bold move. And you backed him.
He was right.
CDr. Conway
He wasn't even in the same neighborhood as right.
The patient's alive.
CDr. Conway
Okay, the rules exist because 95% of the time for 95% of the people, they're the right thing to do.
And the other 5%?...
CDr. Conway
...Have to live by the same rules. Because everybody thinks they're in that 5%.
S4 E15House's Head
A week ago you saw a symptom in a soap star.
Bad argument, since I was right about that.
[Not remembering the names of Dr. Taub and Thirteen] Lesbian. Find out if anybody on that bus was taken to other hospitals.
He just forgot mine.
No, Thirteen, I just wanted to call you a lesbian.
I'm not a lesbian.
I was rounding up from 50%.
I didn't know you rode the bus.
I used to drive home after getting drunk, but some mothers got "MA-D-D".
What are you doing here? You weren't on the bus with me.
Then I guess this isn't a memory - this is a fantasy.
If it's a fantasy, you'd be wearing this.
[The camera cuts back to Dr. Cuddy, who is now dressed like a stripper]
You're convinced your patient is dying and you want to waste your time with a sex fantasy?!
Don't blame me, blame my gender.
Well, I'm not here to indulge that, I'm here to help you figure out what symptom you saw. Your patient was driving the bus so all you could see was-
[Interrupts] Why can't you do both?
[Sensual music starts playing and Dr. Cuddy starts stripping provocatively while carrying out a differential diagnosis with House]
[Stops stripping and looks at Dr. House] I'm distracting you. [starts to get up]
No! [Cut back to Dr. Cuddy who is now dressed normally and sits down next to House] Dance, woman!
[Resignedly] You'd rather be diagnosing.
I screamed "no"!
And your own subconscious ignored you. I guess you'd rather fantasize about finding symptoms. How screwed up is that?
[The Answer has appeared in Dr. House's flashback]
Why are you here?
AThe Answer
You believe in reason above all else. There must be a reason.
You have something to tell me?
AThe Answer
Yes. Who am I?
That's asking not telling. Who are you?
AThe Answer
You know who I am.
If I did I'd be passed out in bed instead of OD'ing on physostigmine on the 6th street cross-town.
AThe Answer
What's my necklace made of?
[Looking at the necklace] Resin?
AThe Answer
Who am I?
I don't know. Why the guessing game?
AThe Answer
Because you don't know the answer.
And if I don't, you don't. But you know the clues.
AThe Answer
I know what's bugging your subconsciousness. What's my necklace made of?
[Looks at necklace, realises and whispers] No.
AThe Answer
Who am I?
[Shakes head] Doesn't make sense.
AThe Answer
What's my necklace made of?
Amber.
[After the crash, Dr. House is attending to Amber]
I have to tie this around you. [Removes Amber's red scarf from her neck and ties it round her right leg]
I'm cold.
Stay with me. Just stay with me.
S4 E16Wilson's Heart
You are the champion of not dealing with your problems...
My grandson gave me a mug that says that.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's House pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.