[to another patient in during a group session] Cut your wrists, huh?
BDr. Beasley
Greg, there are certain topics...
Oh, I'm sorry. Is suicide taboo? Gosh, if I'd broken a rule on my first day, I will kill myself.
BBeasley
Group's over!
S6 E1Broken
BBeasley
I know you're scheming. Working on your next elaborate plan to get out of here. Why don't you put the plan on hold for a few days? See what happens. Just let me do my job. If you prefer private to group, we can do that. Maybe try some SSRIs. If you think nothing's working, you can always go back to your scheming.
God, if only you'd said that 2 minutes ago. Before I came up with my new scheme. Now I'm committed. Ha! Get it?
How come every time you compliment me it sounds like an accusation?
What exactly is the difference between pretending to cooperate and actually cooperating?
DNDr. Darryl Nolan
Everything in your life has been about finding the truth. But suddenly with this guy, you decide to reinforce a sick man's delusions! You just want to take a swing at me, hm? You don't care about getting out. You don't care about him. You don't even care about the truth! [Scoffs] You don't care about anything, House! I'm transferring you to Winslow Psychiatric. You'll have better luck pulling the wool over their eyes. I'm done!
Don't. I need help.
I want to get better. Whatever the hell that means. Sick of being miserable.
So you'd like to be happy.
Again with the reflecting. Yes! I'd like to be happy.
Being happy is an excellent goal. Not many patients can crystallize exactly what they're hoping to get out of this.
They didn't break me. I am broken.
I have had relationships.
You screwed up relationships. Every one of them. Almost like that was the goal. I want you to trust... people.
Successes only last until someone screws them up. Failures are forever.
Things change. Doesn't mean they get better. You gotta make things better. You can't just keep talking and hope for the best.
S6 E3Epic Fail
I quit.
[pause] You can't quit.
I think you're confusing me with Jake Gyllenhaal.
You saw House, how was he?
He was... good. He was honest, took responsibility. It was kind of weird.
What was my one condition for allowing you to tag along?
Try not to be a jerk. I'm trying. I'm just failing.
Roll your meatballs and keep an open mind. [After a few seconds] How hard are you trying not to make a ball joke right now?
They're smoking. Your balls.
Oh! Ow. No, no. They're browning way too fast.
Blue is the color you got to watch out for.
Enough!
Taste this.
God. This might be the best thing I've ever eaten... and yes, I'm including what you're thinking of now.
I brought you a donut. [pause] The florist was closed.
I'll get a vase and put it in water.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's House pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.