[House has just run all the way from his home to the hospital]
Why did you...?
Why does a dog lick its workplace-acceptable euphemism for testicles?
Because he can.
S3 E1Meaning
We should give her a local.
That would defeat the point of me being nasty.
The fifth level of happiness involves creation, changing lives.
The sixth level is heroin, the seventh level is you going away.
I don't remember you being this bitchy.
The Vicodin dulled it. In the sober light of day, I'm a buzz-kill.
Medically, what made you think he was right?
Nothing.
He got lucky. That's all that happened. Telling him "No" was a good thing. Because next time, he won't be lucky and he'll kill someone. Just because he was right, doesn't mean he wasn't wrong.
[exhales; long pause] I see him every day. I can't just...
Everybody lies.
S3 E2Cane and Able
So you're saying Chase did screw up.
Or Foreman screwed up.
Big hand points to minutes, maybe you got them mixed up.
Oh snap, Foreman is playing the dozens. You're at a huge cultural disadvantage here, Chase. Take a couple minutes to think of a witty retort.
[later]
Hey Foreman, your momma's so fat when her beeper goes off, people think she's backing up.
I need a laser pointer.
We don't have a laser pointer.
Well, why not? Who's going to take us seriously if we don't have a laser pointer?
Why do they bother putting age restrictions on these things when all you have to do is click "Yes, I am 18"? Even a 17 year old can figure that out.
SStephanie
You're talking about brain surgery.
I'm talking about really cool brain surgery.
Can you believe what Cuddy tried to pull?
What now?
She lied to me. She cured my patient with my diagnosis, then lied to me about it.
That doesn't sound like her.
You're right. Does sound like you, though.
What exactly did Cuddy tell you?
Nothing that your body language isn't telling me right now. So what was the plan? I'd feel so humble by missing a case that I'd re-evaluate my entire life, question the nature of truth and goodness and become Cameron?
Something like that. More that if we'd told you the truth, that you'd solved a case based on absolutely no medical proof, you'd think you were God, and I was worried your wings would melt.
God doesn't limp.
S3 E3Informed Consent
PPowell
Are you a man of your word, or not?
No, as a matter of fact, I'm not.
[about Ezra's unethical research] He injected newborn babies with radioactive agents just to see if they'd urethral reflux.
He was curious.
[to Cameron] You do know you can't actually pierce me with your stares?
How right you are, Dr. Cuddy! We also don't pad our bills, swipe samples from the pharmacy, or fantasize about the teenage daughters of our patients, either.
True, better be true, and you're a pig.
What's the largest organ?
Skin.
We need to get a piece.
Sure, we'll just wait until he leaves his room without his skin, sneak in and take a piece.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's House pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.