Why do you want to meet her so badly?
Psychopaths always fascinate me. I think it's their cultural literacy and strong family values. Or is that Jews?
S6 E12Remorse
[to Foreman and Thirteen] Go have sex.
No, thanks.
Fine, I'll cover the Viagra and the lubricants. Just get me a receipt.
We have zero feelings for each other.
Well, that's too bad, 'cause things worked much better when you did. Would it help if I slept with her?
So when you watch Star Wars, which side do you root for?
VValerie
Dr. House. What are you doing?
Just checking in on your radiotherapy.
VValerie
From what I hear, you never visit patients. And now, you've come to chat with me twice.
I want to know how you like being a management consultant. I'm thinking of getting into it. That or psychopathy maybe. Which pays better?
VValerie
I think you're already into one of them. Dr. Hadley made a joke yesterday. She said I sound like you.
I'm sure you understand what “joke” means.
VValerie
So you're not just out for yourself? For example, you would never interrupt a sick woman's treatment just because of some personal obsession?
Of course I'm self-interested. We all are. We're born that way. The rest of us are born with consciences.
VValerie
Which is something you just sound ecstatic about.
I'm not saying it's logical. I'm just saying it's human.
VValerie
So if you know your conscience is just an animal instinct, you don't need to follow it. I think you realize that. That's why you're talking to me.
I'd give her a day. Two days at the most.
Great. You be the clock. Everyone else will be the doctors.
[entering the office] What are you doing?
Paying Wibberly's mortgage for a few months. [rips check out of the book] Congratulations on another successful round of hectoring.
Wait a minute, is that actually a check for him?
No. It's a giant novelty item for winning the lottery. You're just standing really far away.
S6 E13Moving the Chains
I don't need to see the scan. I can tell from your little puppy dog eyes that his pituitary's fine. Are you gonna say it or should I?
You were right about the steroids. You're a genius.
Next time with feeling.
Hey, I don't care where an idea comes from, as long as it makes sense and embarrasses someone.
Okay, why don't you tell me my real evil plan.
I don't think there is an evil plan. You regret not having a relationship with your own family. And you don't want to see Foreman go down that same path. I think you're actually being nice.
Oh shut up! You can't accuse me of an opossum attack and underhanded kindness in the same visit.
Then I'll come back.
You're turning white.
GGlenda
What does that mean?
It means he doesn't need football to get a good job anymore.
You know why you're black?
DDaryl
Because God loves me more than he does you?
S6 E145 to 9
I was with your boytoy on a stakeout last night.
You were with Lucas?
He needed someone who could diagnose a soft tissue injury from across the street. Apparently he doesn't know any good doctors.
How's it going?
[calls Marina on her cell phone as she talks to Wilson] Got three hours to save this place from bankruptcy, I just fired one of my best employees, and the woman taking care of my sick child isn't returning my calls.
Rachel's gonna be fine, I'm sure whoever he or she is deserved it, and we're not going bankrupt. Are we?
Don't worry. The board will fire me before they allow that to happen.
They'd never fire you.
I just told Atlanticnet Insurance I'd terminate unless they gave us a 12% bump.
They might fire you.
What do you think I should do about Atlanticnet?
You're asking a guy who paid full sticker price for his last car. You ask House? He's a master manipulator who always gets what he wants.
This situation is out of control enough already. House is the last person I want to get involved.
They should be pressuring other hospitals to be more like us, not trying to make us more like them. It's stupid.
Putting your job on the line in an effort to stamp out stupidity isn't?
You would.
Probably. But then I also wanted to try to cure cancer by infecting a guy with malaria to win a $50 bet. You really want to be like me?
They're not going to fire you. And you're not going to quit.
Why not?
Because you're an idiot.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's House pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.