The notion of picking one time of year to be decent to other people is obscene because it's actually validating the notion of being miserable wretches the rest of the year.
S4 E10It's A Wonderful Lie
Try bondage.
I did once. She just tied me down and whined about how hard it is to be Dean of Medicine.
[walking with Dr. Wilson] Where're we going?
Nowhere, I just know it hurts you.
I saw something amazing: pure truth. She told her mother that she was dying. Stripped her of all hope.
[haltingly] That sounds... horrible.
It was like watching some... bizarre astronomical event that you know you're never gonna see again.
You tell people the cold, hard truth all the time. You get off on it.
Because I don't care. She cared. [thoughtful] She did it anyway. She did it because she cared.
[sarcastically] The angels of Christmas have finally given House a present he can appreciate.
Oh, don't ruin it. Don't pin this on Christ, he's got enough nails in him.
S4 E11Frozen
I am not giving you cable; you're gonna have to somehow survive with broadcast networks alone.
I'll be fine on Tuesdays...
[At the time, House was airing new episodes on Tuesdays at 9]
CCate
You know, I e-mailed a couple colleagues at the hospital about you.
You're checking up on me, not House?
CCate
Yeah, well House is straightforward, brilliant, and an ass.
Two out of three good qualities, clear majority.
CCate
Whereas you, on the other hand, have a perfect score. You are responsible, nice, human, and yet you're House's best friend.
Hold there. [Cate stops adjusting.] Makes you think he's secretly nicer than he seems?
CCate
Makes me think that you're secretly a lot less nice than you seem.
Do you always insult your doctors?
CCate
It's not an insult. Indiscriminate niceness is overrated.
[Smiles.] No wonder he likes you.
Everyone is miserable. You don't change that because people don't change.
CCate
You want to believe that because then you're freed from any responsibility for your misery.
Oh, shut up. I get enough of this from Wilson.
CCate
And yet you keep hanging out with him. And from what I hear, you have spent more time with me than with any other patient.
What if the clots aren't clots? Atherosclerosis. Fatty plaque builds up on the arterial walls, pieces break off, block blood flow. Explains everything.
She has zero risk factors. Forget fat, think clots.
No.
You're standing up to me?
Maybe.
Just to clarify. You should do that when you're right. Sorry for the confusion. How could a clot...
Could be a different kind of fat, fat emboli.
It's a perfect fit... Except it's completely impossible! Fat emboli requires an unrepaired bone break. Between the x-ray and the exam, I've seen her entire... [Epiphany.] See, that's what I'm talking about. [Dr. Kutner bows.]
But you don't care about her.
[Amber walks up to the table.]
Of course not. House doesn't care about anyone.
[Gets up and kisses her.] Hi.
Sorry I'm late.
Cutthroat Bitch?!
I call her Amber.
[House is shocked]
Was she on your list?
S4 E12Don't Ever Change
You guys know Wilson's dating Amber?
No.
Wilson and Amber?!
I knew. [Dr. House looks shocked] I asked her out. Said she just started seeing someone.
Cultures were negative for UTIs, no signs of previous trauma or STDs.
Kidney cancer.
CT was clear for tumors and kidney stones.
I thought Amber scared you guys.
She does, but she also has legs that go all the way up to Canada.
So do Canadians, doesn't mean that I want to date one.
People don't change. For example, I'm going to keep repeating "People don't change."
So alcoholics that successfully go through treatment don't exist?
They're still alcoholics. If they never take a drink as long as they live, it's only because they didn't live long enough.
[Amber leaves House and Wilson at the bar while she complains to the restaurant's host about the long wait for a table]
Any minute now, she’s going to hit him in the face with your testicles.
She tends to treat... She tends to treat every event like it's the last copter out of Saigon.
She's the Anti-Wilson. A force for evil.
She has an annoying quality. Perhaps even two. If I was perfect, I would date perfect.
You like that!
It's annoying, but she's good at it.
Wait a second, this isn't just about the sex. You like her personality. You like that she's conniving. You like that she has no regard for consequences. You like that she can humiliate someone if it serves...[his eyes widen, long pause] Oh my God! You're sleeping with me!
YAYonatan Arnoff
The more you know someone, the more you should love them.
No one can describe themselves in ten words. Why would we wanna hear anyone else do it?
S4 E13No More Mr. Nice Guy
Who thinks niceness is not a symptom? [Dr. Foreman, Dr. Kutner, Dr. Taub and Thirteen put their hands up] And who thinks that their vote counts? [Dr. House puts his hand up]
These quotes come from Wikiquote's House pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.