GVGeneral von Lintzer
Colonel Hogan, I must congratulate you on your honesty. The reconnaissance flight verified the new factory near Leadingham.
HoganYou sure know how to rub it in, General.
GVGeneral von Lintzer
And tonight, the new factory will be reduced to rubble. I personally will lead the bombing mission.
And of course everyone knows that the General is one of our finest pilots! By the way, General, when you go to Berlin, you'll mention my name? Say a few words here and there.
GVGeneral von Lintzer
Words? I believe I will put in a few words. "Negligence, inefficiency, irresponsibility, stupidity". As soon as I get back from the raid, I will take care of you.
[Von Lintzer gets in his staff car and leaves.]
Hogan
Hm. I heard that in school, von Lintzer was your dearest friend.
Hogan
You would've been better off with an enemy.
FMField Marshal von Heinke
I order you to make immediate arrangements for my exchange! Those are my orders. Carry them out.
Such a loud signal! The English must have an excellent transmitter.
[Glares at Klink] We have an excellent receiver.
Hogan
That was Field Marshal von Heinke. May we have your reply immediately?
I guess we have no choice.
That voice. I have heard it somewhere before.
Certainly, dummkopf! That's von Heinke!
No, Herr General, the other voice. Hogan... that's Hogan! One of my prisoners, right here! [In the barracks, Carter hears Klink through a listening device and hands it to Hogan, who hurries over to the camp office.] Now, gentlemen, I am convinced something is wrong. General Burkhalter, with all due respect to you, I think this may be a false message.
[Behind them, Hogan comes into the camp office and sits down.]
Now, it would take me just one minute to find- [Turns around and sees Hogan.] Hogan!
Hogan
Yes?
You thought he was on the radio?
Hogan
Sergeant Schultz told me one of our planes was missing.
General, I still think it is possible that the message on the radio was not the genuine article.
[Just then, Newkirk, doing an impression of Prime Minister Winston Churchill, begins speaking from the radio.]
Generals of the Third Reich, this is the Prime Minister speaking. We offer you this exchange in the full expectation for you to reply in an honourable manner. We in turn, will fulfill our part of the bargain. We await your immediate reply in order that we may speedily affect this arrangement to our mutual satisfaction.
Inform Communications... we accept. [looks at Klink] Unless, Klink, you thought that was Hogan, too?
[A group of Waffen-SS officers, led by SS-Colonel Deutsch, have arrived at Stalag 13.]
What would they be doing here?
Hogan
Maybe they came to capture us again. Very thorough, the Germans.
SCSS-Colonel Deutsch
I never worry about prisoners. I never take any.
SCSS-Colonel Deutsch
I like my enemy only one way: dead.
[Deutsch takes a stielhandgranate from one of his men.]
Colonel! What are you doing?!
[Ignoring Klink, Deutsch throws the grenade at the formation of prisoners, who all dive for cover except for Hogan, who doesn't move. He calmly picks up the grenade and walks up to Deutsch with it.]
Hogan
Oh, Colonel, you seem to have dropped something.
SCSS-Colonel Deutsch
My compliments, Colonel. Tell me, how did you know it was a blank?
Hogan
Easy. For a live grenade, you would've been the first to run. You see, both you and I know you're not a member of a super race.
SCSS-Colonel Deutsch
[angered] After our war games, I shall teach you respect for the SS!
Hogan
I doubt it.
Hogan
Carter, pull over in case that laboratory wants to pass us.
Oh, it's not gonna pass us. It's gonna go straight up. See, with that kinda structure, the-
Hogan
Carter, forget it, forget it. Keep driving.
[The alarm has been sounded, and Schultz is leading a guard detail outside the camp after Klink announces an Allied pilot has been shot down nearby.]
What do you think, Colonel?
Hogan
I think for a big man, Schultz moves pretty fast.
Jawohl, mein Colonel! [Salutes Hogan]
[Shakes his head] Oh, Schultz, you idiot, you don't salute him, he's your prisoner! And see to it that it stays that way!
[Salutes Klink] Jawohl, mein Kommandant!
And bring Carter back! Diiismissed!
[Klink goes back inside the camp office.]
Colonel Hogan. What are we really going to do?
Hogan
Well, Schultz-
BGBritish General
Hogan. Bit of a dirty trick, flying you to London for an hour of being a free man and then dropping you back at Stalag 13.
Hogan
Breaks up the day, sir.
BGBritish General
[Laughs] You're a good man. [Pulls out a marked map of Europe] Guess what this is.
Hogan
D-Day, sir?
BGBritish General
D-Day. And forget you saw it. [Puts the map away] Now, I can't tell you the exact date. Even to tell you this much had to be cleared to the highest level of intelligence. The Old Man himself. But- the date will be soon.
Hogan
It's been a long time coming, sir.
BGBritish General
A long time. And we don't want any mistakes. Not on our part.
Hogan
Yes, sir.
BGBritish General
Of course, we could use a few mistakes from Jerry, and that's why you're here, Hogan.
Kommandant Klink says you can have ten minutes with the prisoner.
Hogan
Ten minutes?! Oh, come on, Schultz. Hardly long enough to eat a chocolate bar.
[Hogan takes out a bar of chocolate.]
Hogan
Eat slowly. [hands the bar to Schultz]
Hogan's Heroes · 213 quotes
