Carter, will you watch it?
Sorry, I'm not too good with ears.
If you don't mind, I've gotten used to having one on each side of my head!
“Art For Hogan's Sake” · Season 2, Episode 16
In this episode: Robert E. Hogan (1), Hans Georg Schultz (1), Colonel Klink (1), Andrew Carter (1), General Burkhalter (1)
Oh, what an unexpected pleasure, Herr General!
Actually, I had no intention of stopping here. But there was a bombing attack on the road that started me thinking-
Oh, what a brilliant idea! Now only a man of your experience could-
[Smiles] Klink? Shut up and let me finish.
Of course Herr General. Excuse me.
I suppose you are curious about that. [Gestures to the flat rectangular box his men brought in.]
Well, naturally, I-
It's a gift.
Thank you, Herr General! Thank you very much!
It's not for you.
Really? What a marvelous sense of humor.
I've just been to Paris on military business.
Of course, of course.
While I was there, I realized that Goering's birthday is only a few weeks away!
Oh, yes, sir, I know, I have the date right here in my calendar!
You would.
[Sergeant Schultz, pretending to be a general in the German Army, is covering for Hogan, LeBeau, Suzette and Verlaine while two Gestapo officers attempt to search the Paris apartment.]
How dare you come here, and disturb a general of the Third Reich.
1G1st Gestapo Man
Only doing our duty, sir. We had no idea that you were-
Oh, you- you had no idea. You didn't know that a general might want to spend an afternoon with his, uh, with his, uh-
SSuzette
Niece.
Niece. Thank you, darling.
1G1st Gestapo Man
I assure you, General, we had no intention of intruding upon your privacy.
No. You didn't! Should it ever happen again, I will report you to your superior officer, and then to his superior officer, and then even to his superior officer! I will report it all the way up, until it comes back to me! And if I ever... report it to myself... [Growls] Are you going to be in trouble.
[The two Gestapo men hurry for the door and leave.]
SSuzette
They have gone!
They did? Why did you let them go?!
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Hogan's Heroes pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.