Hell's Kitchen quotes

This is like a joke. It's like you've been Punk'd, like you've been set up to look stupid.

(tastes) It fucks me off. [returns the risotto to the workstation] STOP! (to Nona and Trev) Come here you! (to Russell) Come here! (to Jillian) And you as well! Have a fucking good taste! [Gordon tastes, as well as the final four]

(interview) Awesome. It's freaking great. I love what's happening right now.

What's the first thing that comes to your mouth?

Pepper! (interview) Yeah, can we have some risotto with the pepper, please? Refire.

[spits out the risotto in disgust] Three stunning risottos away.

Yes, chef. (interview) Sucks, sucks, sucks.

I killed it on garnish tonight! There's no reason I should go up for elimination.

I thought I had a great night, too. (to Nona and Russell) I'm nominating you two. You guys were the ones who had fuck-ups tonight.

I had a good night. My votes are Trev, and... my second one is Russell because of the scallops and the halibut. (interview) Russ was not perfect tonight, and Trev did not do too bad, but it's hard to go wrong when you have Chef Ramsay wiping your ass for you.

My votes are for Trev and Russell, too.

(interview) What the hell?! (to Jillian) What happened to the plan?

[in the flashback] Let them get put up for elimination tonight. Even if they do good.

[in the flashback giving Jillian a high-five] Boo-yah, shocka!

(interview) Jillian's selling me out.

I'm definitely voting for you, Trev because of your attitude and communication lapses. It's fucking ridiculous. (Trev just shrugs) If you talked to me like you talked to me before about that salmon, I would have slapped the shit out of you! (Jillian and Nona stare at Russell in shock) If you ever think you can cop an attitude like that with me, best believe you're gonna catch one to the side of your fucking head!

W–Whoa!

[shrugs again] Okay.

I will fuck you up, bro!

New order! One spaghetti, two scallops, one truffle salad! [pause] How long?! [no one responds]

(interview) Nobody's listening to anything Trev says. Just like, "Blah-blah-blah," coming out his mouth!

Knock it out, guys! Let's get 'em in, get 'em out! [Nona continues to ignore Trev]

Answer him!

(interview) Nobody respects him, and that's why while he's on the pass, everyone's ignoring him.

One spaghetti, two scallops, one truffle salad! [beat; Sous Chef Scott looks up]

Is there an answer?!

Yes, chef!

The chefs may not be listening to Trev, but that doesn't stop him from calling more tickets.

One salmon, two beef, one wellington! Six minutes to the window!

Six minutes!

Thank you!

[facepalms] Stop two beef, one salmon, one wellington! 'Cause we haven't the fucking appetisers yet!

Son of a bitch.

"Son of a bitch?!" Ah, [throws spoon] fucking hell!

Fucking hell's right.

(interview) Trev sucks. Sorry, Trev, you suck.

COME ON, TREVOR!

After failing to notice Chef Scott's swapping of the meat, Jillian is on high alert.

Come on, Trev!

You’re not sending that shit out. That one looks like crap! Fire a new one (halibut), fire it now!

It’s ready right now, if you want it.

COME ON! (interview) Trev, you’re fucking up and it’s not right. [Trev brings his fish to the pass] This one’s skinny as shit and that one’s fat as fuck! You got a different one?

It’s gonna take six minutes if you want me to do that!

Well, this is not how they look on the same table! It’s bullshit!

They’re not all cut equal!

(interview) Jillian is just [makes a clawing motion with her hand] "RAWRAWRAWRAWRAWR!!!", all over Trev!

[checks on more halibut brought up by Trev] TREV!

Yes, chef.

YOUR HALIBUT IS FREAKIN’ RAW! Come here! Come here! Look at that shit, dude! It’s fucking raw! COME ON! HOW MANY TIMES ARE YOU GONNA DO IT?!

Sixteen, if it takes.

As many times as it takes?!

As many times as it takes to get it right!

WELL, FUCKING GET IT RIGHT, MAN!

Doesn't make any sense to me.

(interview) I just don’t understand, like... I don’t get it.

You’ve got to control the kitchen, otherwise the kitchen controls you.

Yes, chef. (to Trev) YOU’RE SCREWING ME ON THE PASS!

Dude, they’re all different fucking sizes!

Jillian, you have to convict this! This is just not good enough! [to the Black Jackets] LISTEN TO ME, IT’S NOT GOOD ENOUGH! (to Trev) YOU MAY WANT TO SCREW HER, BUT YOU’RE NOT GOING TO FUCKING SCREW ME! COME HERE, YOU! Next time you fuck her again, or fuck me on one halibut, you’re fucking out! NOW WAKE UP! A JOKE’S A JOKE, BUT QUIT IT!

(interview) I wanted to throw a fucking hot pan at Trev’s head. Stop making me look bad, do your job! (to Trev) Move it!

Now, yeah. You know how it feels standing here, yes?

Yes, chef. It fucking sucks.

Sideways.

(interview; after finished second) I'm pissed. I'm not happy at all. I chose the team that I wanted, and I thought they would help me win. In fact, they helped me lose, so... you know, thanks a lot, guys. (to his dad) I felt like I was being sabotaged. (interview) You will never get a job in any city I work. I'm gonna definitely blackball you guys, because you guys fucked me so royally tonight.

Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the Orpheum Theatre. Please put your hands together for the Hell's Kitchen chefs. [Unveils the curtain; gives the chefs to raise their arms up. The chefs then see that there is no audience and Chef Ramsay at the top, clapping his hand loudly and slowly]

Seriously, what on earth did you expect? A packed house? A standing ovation? Screaming fans? REALLY? Right now, NONE of you are stars. Résumés mean NOTHING, got it?

Yes, chef!

GOT IT?

(louder voice) YES, CHEF!

Un-fucking-real.

Ladies first. What is it?

It is a chicken-fried ribeye with Yukon gold mash and white truffle cream gravy. I actually have a little sugar in there.

Stop. Say that again?

I have sugar in there. That's what my mother always did!

(interview) I do not know who in their right mind would put sugar in mashed potatoes.

Just try it! (interview) Chef Ramsay is going to love it because it's freakin' delicious! It's like an orgasm in your mouth, come on! [as Gordon spits out the mashed potato] Oh, God!

[stifling a laugh] I'm sorry, I don't mean to laugh!

That... is disgusting.

[as Jonathon's signature dish is revealed] What the fuck is that on the plate?

I call this the Punch Drunk Chicken. (interview) I got the Southern flavor, you know? I put a lot of flavor in the food, raw but real. So, if Chef Ramsay complains about it, well, he's full of shit, man.

Hold on, it gets worse. [holds up sliced piece of pineapple] The pineapple looks like... canned?

Yes.

You open a can of pineapple, and you stick it on top of a chicken?

Limited time today.

"Limited time?" 45 minutes?! Limited time?!

Yes.

You're so full of shit, even your eyes are brown! While you come in here and serve me a canned fucking pineapple, you can fuck off now. Seriously! I'll pay for the ticket! You tell me.

No, sir.

It's an absolute freaking mess. But the surprising fact was you opened it out of a can. That's what pissed me off more than anything. I'm not even going to taste it! Ladies, congratulations.

Right? First name, and what in the hell is that on there?

My name is Krupa. This is a traditional Gujarati dish of stuffed naan.

First off, doesn't exactly look appetizing, does it?

No.

No. It's like you've got four bits of asswipe on a plate. Splat!

You're right.

[takes a bite of naan] Spices are raw, bland. My dear Krupa, yeah? That is crap-a!

First name?

Jamie.

What do you do?

I'm a sous chef.

You're already a sous chef?

Yes. (interview) I'm still a young chef, but I know how good I am.

Tell me about the dish.

It's lamb lollipops with a red onion confiture.

[after eating a bite of lamb] You've overcooked the most important thing: the lamb. If you're going to have the balls to call yourself a sous chef, learn to cook lamb properly first.

Yes, chef.

Okay, uh...

Steven.

What is that? [picks up plate]

I have seared diver scallops over wild mushroom risotto. (interview) I've been cooking 30 years. Nobody else has a chance in this thing.

Honestly, it's like toenails, on a fucking dinosaur! [some of the contestants laugh] Look at them!

It's got good flavor.

"It's got good flavor?" You can't be that deluded. The point goes to... none of you. Stop fucking around.

Sorry, chef.

Tonight, Hell's Kitchen is once again the place to be in Los Angeles. The restaurant has been redesigned with a stunning balcony above the kitchen that gives those diners a unique view of the action of the kitchen.

[Carries the first order tickets to Blue Kitchen, approaches Gordon] 'Kay, alright! First order, chef!

[Receives the tickets from James] Let's go. [to Blue Team] Okay Blue Team, here we are! First ticket to the blue team: One risotto, one scallop, one squab, one spaghetti!

Yes, chef!

I'm sorry, chef, can you repeat that?

Can I repeat that?

I'm sorry? I-I'm sorry, chef!

Yeah, let me repeat it: Fuck yourself!

Yes, sir!

"Can I repeat that?" Is he (Chino) fucking stupid?

Okay, Red Team! Come here, let's go! [Red Team approaches Gordon] First ticket! Good luck!

Yes, chef!

Two tables away, table four: one scallops, one risotto. Entrée: One New York–

[Interrupts Gordon; Talks to other Red Team member] Oh, one risotto!

[to Elise] Hey, madam!

Sorry!

I'm not gonna shout over you.

I'm sorry.

I've got 10 seconds - a window - to call these out!

I'm sorry. I apologize.

Come here, you, Big mouth, come here. [Puts and bangs the ticket on the table] Call out the fucking ticket. COME HERE! Call out the ticket!

[Grabs the ticket, calls out the ticket to the Red Team] Y'all ready? We need one scallop, two risotto for appetizers!

Oh, fuck me. So the lobster's ready for the second table thanks to Steven, but I just want the first!

I'm working on the first, chef!

SO WHY ARE YOU GIVING ME THE SECOND?!

I'll–I'll go one at a time.

The thought of you doing two things at once, forget it!

OK.

Just focus on the first ticket, Steven!

Yes, chef!

What's he done to this? [returns the cod to the workstation] BLUE TEAM!

Yes, chef?

NO garnish anywhere, STILL fragmented and look! It's burnt! [holds up the cod, shows it to the Blue team and angrily slams it on the workstation; calls Chino]

(interview) I burnt the miso cod. You know, I should know this shit too because I'm Asian.

Oh, guys!

(interview) Chino really fucked the cod up, man. Basted that motherfucker with roof tar or something.

Chino!

Yes, chef?

Come here, you! Get out of my sight.

[leads Chino to the Chef's Table] Sit down.

Scott, get him peeling onions, garlic, but away from the stove!

[brings onions and garlic to Chino at Chef's Table] There you go. At least you won't be able to burn any of that.

(interview) Ugh. Horrible.

Absolute fucking useless!

Scallops are in the window!

(to Steven) Hey. come here, you. Just touch.

They're springy, chef.

They're what?

Springy. When you spring back, usually they're ready.

So they're ready, are they?

I feel that they're ready.

That fucking rubbery?

Sorry, chef.

(interview) Everything Steven was touching was turning to shit tonight. You know how they say you can't teach an old dog new tricks? [smirks]

Sit down and eat them. Enjoy your "springy" scallops! Let me know how you feel halfway through! Bon appétit.

I think they're perfect. [eats his scallops on the chef's table]