Gordon quotes from Hell's Kitchen

Hello! (interview) My name is Rochelle.

Okay, well, first of all... [Rochelle starts laughing] What is so funny?

I don't know! (laughs) I think I laugh a little when I'm nervous! (interview) I am definitely nervous and very excited for Chef Ramsay to try my food. (to Gordon) It is a sautéed chicken. (interview; laughs) (to Gordon) It's something my mom made growing up, so it's something that stuck with me.

Yeah, it's definitely stuck with me, but all in the wrong way.

Oh... [audience laughs]

OK, young man?

My name's Ralph. I'm special because I have a spark in my ass and - [audience laughs]

[smiling, about to laugh] You should get somebody to look at that!

Hey. All of you, come here. [pours risotto onto a tray] Soup. Like liquid. Runny liquid. It's so fucking runny, you can't even spot the fucking rice in there. Then here, hey. [points at DeMarco] You as well. What do you think of that lobster tail?

(interview) DeMarco, it just looks nasty.

Shriveled, rock hard. It's like a fucking golf ball! Then here, hey. Scallops come up, beautifully seared.

(interview) I was like, "yes!"

On ONE FUCKING SIDE!! Look. [flips the scallops over] How opposite can one scallop be?

Get a fucking grip. Let's go!

Yes, chef.

Wake up!

As the bad news continues to pour into the red kitchen...

I'm pulling the scallops now.

...Chef Ramsay shifts his attention back to the blue kitchen.

How long for the risotto?

Risotto's two more minutes chef.

Desperate to witness something...

There's nothing coming out!

...anything positive.

There's nine of you fucking standing there playing with yourselves. [Gaurav sticks his finger into the risotto and tastes it] Oh, no! Hey you. Hey, hey, come here you. We do not stick our fingers in the fucking food, lick it, and then go back inside! What is this?!

Sorry, chef.

Does anyone have any respect for the customers standing behind me?

I'll get a grip, chef.

Don't worry about getting a grip. Next time, YOU'RE OUT!

(interview) Are you kidding me? You're going to not take my risotto just because I checked the rice and then finally cleaned my finger with my tongue?

Get it together!

Yes, chef.

Hey, DeMarco, it's overcooked! It's like a fucking bullet! Come here, you.

(interview) Oh, shit. This can't be happening. Not again, man.

Just touch it.

Yes, chef. I'll get you getting another one right now.

(points to Gaurav) So he gets the risotto ready, and then you give him a big ball of elastic band, supposedly a lobster. Fuck off, DeMarco!

(interview) Gabriel, like come on dude. If you just let me do it, they'd be fucking perfect!

Hey, wake up, you!

Yes, chef!

Wake up!

Yes, chef!

Walking with risotto.

Where's the - where's the lobster?

Coming right now, chef. Lobster, drop the lobster, Joy.

(points to Nicole) Stop right there! Did you just say "drop the lobster"?

Yes, I did, chef.

(to Nicole and Joy) Come here, you two. (points to Sandra) You, come here. (to Nicole) The lobster is not even in. How long is it going to take you to cook that lobster tail?

45 seconds, chef.

Really?

Yes.

Do you know, what? Get me a lobster cooked in 45 seconds. Your time starts now.

(interview) Good luck, best wishes.

15 seconds gone.

(interview) The pressure's on. On!

30 seconds gone.

(interview) It's like, "Oh, my gosh! Cook faster!"

40 seconds gone. Time! [Joy brings her lobster tail to the workstation]

(interview) Here we go!

(slicing the lobster) Cold. Touch it in the middle. Cold and raw.

(interview) Oops.

Chef, I did not hear from risotto.

You didn't hear?

The communication is fucked up.

Communication, yeah, it's really fucked up. Let me communicate something really clear to you. (points to Joy, Nicole and Sandra) You, you, you, fuck off upstairs! I'M DONE! GET OUT!! Hope you heard that one.

(groans)

(to Gabriel) Big boy, come here, you. All of you, just touch the scallops! They're bullets, they're rubber bullets! Look at the color of them. It's overcooked, rubber shit! (to DeMarco and Gabriel) What are you two doing?! [angrily smashes the scallops and a scream is heard faintly; to the Blue team] Fuck off out of here. GET OUT!! All of you, GET OUT! I'm done!

(interview) Dude, we got kicked out of the kitchen. It's really fucking frustrating!

Chef, can I stay?

GET OUT!!

They're rubber. Way, way overcooked.

My scallops are up there.

Who cooked them?

I finished it. Bev started it, I finished it.

Just touch them. They're rubber! They're bouncy! [throws the scallops like a ball on the workstation] They bounce! This is the worst opening night in the history of Hell's Kitchen! GET OUT!

Yes, chef!

(to JP) Jean-Philippe!

Oui, chef?

I cannot stand the embarrassment any longer. Shut it down.

Yes.

All of you, come here! Grab a spoon, come on! [knocks his hand on the workstation] Hurry up and taste that! What does that need?

Mascarpone.

Where's the butter?

There's no butter, there's no richness and it's just bland. (to Nicole and Simone) Can you make risotto now?

Yes, chef.

(to Simone) You, yeah? Fuck off!

Yes, chef.

Come on, Nicole. Two more risotto, let's go.

Walking with the risotto, behind. (brings her risotto to the pass)

(interview) I'm a little concerned about Nicole stepping up because of her attitude and her unwillingness to be a team player.

I hope that shit is okay.

[checks Nicole's risotto; finds that there's no lobster in it] Where's the lobster? Nicole!

Yes, chef?

Come over! Two lobster risotto, where's the lobster?

It's my fault chef. I didn't put enough for two, I put enough for one.

Get some energy, or both of you, get out of here. Okay?

Yes, chef!

Get involved or fuck off home!

DEMARCO!! What are you doing?! The pan's fucking cold!

Yes, chef.

The pan's cold! (goes to DeMarco's station) What's a sear mean? [makes a hissing sound]

Hot. Real hot pan.

(interview) DeMarco is pathetic. Literally searing tuna, a three-year old could do it.

Okay?! It's not hot the pan!

Yes, chef.

[knocks his hand on the workstation] If you can't sear this tuna, (points to DeMarco's chef's jacket and apron) take that off, get that off and fuck off home, okay?

Yes, chef.

They're raw.

They're fucking cold.

And they're fucking cold. Beth, the lobster’s still RAW! (Brings lobster tail to the workstation) All of you, COME HERE!

Oh, God.

A raw lobster tail. No, no, no, NO! [throws the lobster tail away on the workstation] I don't know where to go! (to Nicole and Simone) Both of you have given up (to Bev and Beth) and you two are shit! WHERE DO I GO?!!

(interview) Beth, I just told you. Like make sure that’s the temperature.

Can I have two risotto and two lobster?!

Yes, chef!

Back in the Blue kitchen, DeMarco is trying to prove he can complete the simple task of searing a tuna.

Let's go.

Chef, tuna. (interview) I do know how to sear tuna. There's an incredible amount of pressure in this fucking place.

(checks DeMarco's tuna) DeMarco! Did the pan make a hissing noise?

Yes, chef.

Congratulations, that's seared tuna!

Yes, chef. (interview; claps) Yes! [smiles]

(on Kashia's wellingtons) Wellington's cooked beautifully.

Thank you chef!

Hey, don't dare start celebrating. Let's get that right.

Yes, chef.

Half the table's missing, Beth and Bev!

Yes, chef?

The two B's! (gets a piece of halibut) Just touch how firm that is. Just a dry, just flaky mess. Dry fucking mess. [throws the halibut on the tray]

(interview) Beth's got to pull it together, she want to be here.

(disgusted) Oh, fuck off.

(interview) I'm not stupid, I know how to cook fish.

(to Beth) Re-fire two halibut!

Heard that.

Shit!

(on Gabriel's chicken; finds that it's raw) Oh, my God. ALL OF YOU.

Yes, chef?

[angrily knocks his hand on the workstation] COME HERE. Pink chicken. PINK FUCKING CHICKEN. [angrily throws the chicken away; on Scott's halibut] Raw halibut. And it's cold in the middle.

Fucking halibut. FUCK. [throws his spoon away; Gordon angrily smashes the halibut]

(interview) Scott rushed Gabriel to the pass with raw chicken, but the fish wasn't done. Come on, dude.

(to Gabriel) Do you want to eat that?

No, chef.

Why?

It's raw chef.

Oh, (points to the customers) so they deserve to eat that?

No, chef.

We're going to come back right now chef.

GET A GRIP!

Yes, chef.

In the Red kitchen...

THE APPETIZER SECTION IS A FRICKIN' DISASTER!

Yes, chef!

Chef Ramsay is still waiting for Nicole and Simone to deliver an acceptable lobster risotto.

(to Joy) How does that make you feel?

Disappointed chef.

Oh, fuck.

(interview) It's one thing to be frustrated, but I think Nicole is feeling a little bit defeated.

Walking with the risotto. [brings her risotto to the pass]

(interview) You know, Nicole? If you feel like you have no more to give, then maybe you should go home.

[returns and slams the risotto on the workstation] All of you, stop. That is so fucking peppery, it's actually started discolouring. (to Simone and Nicole) You two, get out. (to Rochelle) Rochelle, get on the appetisers. (to Joy) Joy, get on the fucking appetisers.

Yes, chef.

Oh, my good God. [returns and angrily throws a piece of chicken on the workstation] Again, chicken that is fucking PINK! [violently slams all the chicken onto the workstation] FUCK!

(interview) Fuck, man.

RAW CHICKEN FOLLOWED BY RAW CHICKEN! All of you, FUCK OFF OUT OF HERE!

(interview) I can't believe this happened. Some people are just idiots. If you cannot work under the pressure on the demands of Chef Ramsay, then go home.