Gordon quotes from Hell's Kitchen

(to Elise) Elise, give your opinion.

It looks good.

[finds that two of the plates have different amount of lobster] "It looks good"? "It's looks good"! [gets two plates from the pass] Look at this one with four little bits of lobster on. Twelve on there, five on that! LOOK AT THAT TO THAT!!! DAMN!! [pounds the counter; throws his spoon away] I'M SO EMBARRASSED!! COME ON!!

Jennifer, what do you want me to do?

WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU GUYS?! Are you trying to sabotage me?! [pause] I fucking helped both of you!

What do you want me to do?! (interview) Why would I try to sabotage? I didn't have to sabotage! Jen's fucking up so bad on her own! [to Jennifer] Do you want me to put this up there?

Yes!

Okay! Well, you have to give me direction! Like, you're just...

You know what, Elise? Back off!

[slicing the apples] The apples are raw. Just touch that inside. [Elise touches the apples] Fuck off will you? CAN WE GET THE APPLES BACK IN THE PAN?!!

(interview) I had Elise cook one fucking pan of apples, and it's raw. This fucking bitch will do anything to get rid of fucking me. Anything!

You put them on, you put them on, not one of you can tell her they're undercooked. You don't care for each other!

(tearfully) I worked fucking hard with them for them, I make sure you guys are fucking great!

I did exactly what you told me to do.

Elise!

Are you serious?

Yeah, this is for the whole mashed potato thing. You know what, Elise? You're petty as you can be. You know what, I kept my mouth shut for a long time, I'm not keeping it shut anymore. War's on!

WHAT?!

(brings her apples to the pass; to Elise) I don't need your help. Thank you.

I'm going to help anyway.

I really don't want it.

(interview) Is that how it's going to be? Jen's blaming me trying to make me look bad. She's going to regret not making a friend in me.

(to the servers) Go, please! [throws his apron on the counter out of disappointment] Anything to say?

We suck, yes.

[returns to the workstation] All of you, stop. [throws his spoon away] Just fucking stop, ALL OF YOU. (to Elise) Come here you. Put your finger in there. [Elise puts her finger inside the salmon] Not pink, raw. I'm done. (to the other chefs) Leave me alone. All of you, fuck off out of here. All of you. Get out, please. Just fuck off. Enough is enough.

(interview) We are the final five black coats! And I'm getting kicked out of a fucking service! [pause] No, not cool!

Am I finishing?

Put them back in the pan, yeah?

Yeah, I'll finish this.

(to Sous chef Scott) Hey Scott, can you get Andi get Paul and Will back, okay?

Yes.

We have fucking completely vigils be!

Will, Paul, COME WITH ME.

(interview) The greatest kicked me off that you can ever have in my life that have Chef Gordon Ramsay. Saying you're know what it wasn't you, go finish what you started.

Chef? I got to ask you something. Why did you send me out of the kitchen? I wanted to be back in there with my team. I should not have had to fucking leave tonight, and I could have fucking held it down and fixed it! I'm so fucking mad!

Fuck off, Tommy! Or I'll stick your fucking head in that oven and talk to you through the fucking gas burner.

Do it.

[after a brief silence] Please don't rub anymore salt in the wound.

(interview) I don't want even to look him in the eye. Please don't cut my hair! please don't cut my hair! PLEASE DON'T CUT MY HAIR! PLEASE DON'T CUT MY HAIR!

(pause; points to Danielle) You?

SCOTT! [walks from a balcony] What the fuck is going down there? STOP, SCOTT!! WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!

I'm sorry, chef.

[Letting Danielle be back in line] You, out of the chair! Back in line!

(interview) Yes, yes, thank God. Thank God, this is totally not gonna happen.

Enough's enough! I want all of you to get into the kitchens and cook me your signature dish! Let's go! [looks at Andi's "bald" head after the contestants run to both kitchens; to Scott] What the fuck happened to Andi?

Right, first name is?

Tavon.

Your position now is what?

Executive Chef at (Washington) D.C.

Wow. And how old are you?

I'm only 22.

You're only 22?

Yes.

And you're an executive chef running brigade of chefs?

Yes.

Well done. Amazing.

Thanks.

What is it? Jesus!

Shrimp scallops and crab with top of fettuccine noodles and alfredo sauce with whiskey infused.

How much vinegar you put in there?

A dime in a drizzle. A more in a drizzle.

It is really hideous. This red coming is really bad. I mean really bad.

Hey, all of you, come here!

Oh, man!

(interview) This is so bullshit! Wow!

I've had enough! Just touch these! (to Roshni) I mean honestly?

Sorry, chef.

Here we standing here forty-five minutes into service, we haven't got the fucking appetisers out. [Roshni throws the raw scallops in the bin] (to Roshni) Get out! Get out of there!

(holds the pan) No, chef! No!

Hey, look at me! look!

Please?

I'm not telling you one more time, get the fuck out of here! Fuck off upstairs! Get out! (to Barbie) Barbie! Get on the scallops! Cook me fucking scallops!

Yes, chef.

[exits the kitchen and throws her apron out] (interview) I've never ever walked off to the light and I'm always completed dinner service. (cries)

Fucking raw. [walks back to workstation] The pigeon's still raw! Hey, hey! Hey, all of you, stop! Look! This fucking pigeon's that raw it can still fly! Touch it! [hands plate back to Tavon] Stone-fucking-cold and raw! Come on!

(interview) Tavon couldn't cook a squab. He's just a fucking moron.

Are you seriously—You're an executive chef?

Yes, chef.

Yeah?

I actually am, yes.

How long for this table?

Four minutes on the squab, chef.

[returns to the pass] Fuck me!

Okay stop! You (points to Justin) don't touch another fucking scallop. Come here. Just touch these. Touch them! (Clemenza touches the scallops) Jesus Christ! [goes to Justin's station; finds that the scallops are poorly sliced] Why they're all broken? What the fuck have you done?

(interview) I'm working with scallops. They were complete shit. I was completely sabotaged.

Who sliced all these?

Someone else did my part, chef.

Who sliced the scallops? Chef has asked a question.

I did.

Come here you, executive chef. Come here. Look at these.[holds up some scallops] Expensive hand dived scallops. Look, you sabotaged them!

(interview) This is ugly. The scallops were just mutilated.

Hold on, it gets better. [shows a scallop ripped in half] Look at this one!

(interview) It looked like they got cut with a paper clip.

I mean FUCKING HELL! Look!

That's it. That's everything.

(interview) We're in trouble.

(to Tavon) You sliced all them! We haven't even served one fucking table! [knocks the workstation twice] They're all fucked! Look! Look! I've got a bunch of idiots here!

(to Tavon) Hey you, executive chef. Do you actually cook in your restaurants?

Yes, I did.

And do they do the same there?

Do we do what?

The same shit?

No, no.

So why are you doing it here?

I guess I froze, I mean.

You FROZE?

What else-what else do you want me to say?

You haven't even fucking defrosted! [Tavon laughs to himself] You think it's funny? All those fucking customers? Do me a favor.

Yeah?

Fuck off upstairs. Get out!

[laughing nervously] (interview) This is the first time I've ever been kicked out of the kitchen in my career. Chef Ramsay, you're a fucking douchebag.

One onion tart, one spaghetti, how long?

What are we waiting on? What do we got?

What are waiting on? I'm waiting on some fucking TALENT!!

Yes, chef.

THIS IS A FUCKING JOKE!!

Ladies, we got this! We got this, for real!

Oh, my God. I mean, seriously? [returns to the workstation] What in the fuck is that?

I guess not.

Who cooked that? Come here. The dough is still raw. Are you fucking for real? Do you want me to serve that out there?!

Christina Wilson

No, chef.

It's just a joke!

(interview) Damn it! We've got to push out the entrées! Christina's killing us right now.

Have you got another wellington?

Christina Wilson

Yes. (interview) That's the thing with baking wellingtons. You don't know until the end and there's nothing you can do. So I'm praying like, "Oh, one of these beef, they have to be okay."

[slices the pastry of a wellington] Look, that's raw. It's fucking raw.

(interview) Royce can make spaghetti. Royce can make squab. Royce can make everything! I got this.

Break a sweat, Royce!

Yes, chef.

We've got about a minute and a half on the pasta.

My spaghetti's coming up. I'm fucking ready, we're ready, let's go!

You sure that's done?

Yeah, yeah. We got it. It's good to go.

(interview) I worked for a pasta company that produces a million pounds of pasta a day. Royce, let me clue you in on a little something. That spaghetti ain't done!

[returns to the workstation; to Royce] Hey you, come here. Crunchy fucking spaghetti. Crunchy. You can just see it. Pick that up, look. Crunchy.

Sorry, chef. I'll have another one in thirty seconds.

Hey, hey. Get out!

I'll have another one in thirty seconds!

Hey, hey! Look at me! GET OUT!! Join the fucking exec upstairs! GET THE FUCK OUTTA HERE!!

Nearly two hours into dinner service, the women are stalled on the entrees.

[asking to the Red team] Chicken wellington, how long?

Five more minutes now, chef.

Christina Wilson

Five minutes.

And the men are still a mess with the appetizers.

I hope you're fucking proud of this, like a bunch of idiots here!

Come on guys, we need a down rally here.

(interview) Don is a living in his own world, he was wondering around not knowing what fuck not to do himself.

[holds the ticket] Two caesar salad, one onion tart, how long?

Onion tart working! Get on onion tart! Three right now! Three right now! [brings to the pass]

Check to see if they done, man.

Put the tray down. Put the fucking tray down. [checks the onion tart, sees that it's raw] Fucking RAW! [calling all remaining members of the blue team] All of you, ALL OF YOU!

Oh, shit.

RAW!

Fuck!

You (Chris Carrero) can't cook pastry. END OF THE DAY for me—GET OUT!!! All of you, GET OUT!

(interview) Never in my life having so embarrassed. Anybody who was on that line that wasn't embarrassed doesn't belong anywhere in the kitchen.

It's still the same fucking table, all of you come here.

Fuck me!

Look! (grabs a wellington) It's like fucking snot! There's just no thought! Shut it down and fucking clean up.

Yes, chef.

Fuck. [Gordon throws his towel on the workstation]

Patrick.

Yes, chef?

First nominee and why?

Our first nominee is Tavon. He was in charge of the hot appetizers, and the squab really set us off the wrong way, and he couldn't recover from those.

Yeah, he got screwed by a pigeon. [Christina smirks] Second nominee and why?

The second nominee, uh, is Don. [Don rolls his eyes]

Don?! Why? He didn't even cook. Not only did you put in a shit performance, but you came to a crap consensus! The two worst tonight: Tavon...and Royce. And now, [points to Tavon and Royce] you two can step forward. Let's go. [Tavon and Royce step forward] Tavon, tell me, from an executive chef's point of view, why you think you should stay in Hell's Kitchen. Hurry up.

I definitely knew that I was more of the reason that everything went down, and I took responsibility for everything that happened.

What would you rate your performance this evening? Line chef? Sous chef?

Probably a prep cook that got thrown onto the line.

Well, that's way off my estimate. I would have said dishwasher. On a fucking shit day. [Barbie chuckles]