Gossip Girl · Season 1
So, do you think we should talk about it?
Abo--You mean, about, about Vanessa? No, you know what? She's like family, it feels comfortable. So, therefore, she often shows up without calling.
No, I mean, about what almost, maybe, might have just happened.
Oh, you mean if Vanessa hadn't entered and we...
Or we can not talk about it. [Leans in to kiss Dan]
[From outside the room] Dan! We're home. We got breakfast.
[Sits up from the bed and turns to Serena] Hungry?
So, I heard on Gossip Girl that you were having sex with Dan out here...in streaming video.
Oh, God. Kati and Is filmed us?
Well, it's not very high school musical scandalous. And no, they haven't streamed it...yet. But, I heard it was aggressive.
I must say, Dan has been surprisingly good at everything we've done.
Which is? Everything?
No! But, feel free to ask any personal questions.
But you've talked about it, right?
No, mom! We haven't.
May I remind you that this is your first real boyfriend, S. And in relationships, you talk about stuff.
I know, but, I don't know. Sometimes talking about it or planning it can ruin a good thing, you know?
I would know. Well, as long as you're not worried.
Well, I'm not. But, I don't know, he might be. Is it possible for a guy to want to slow things down?
Only the guys we like. [They both laugh] But with you, I can't imagine why.
You want your dad to invest in a strip joint. How midtown.
Hey, burlesque club! A respectable place, where people can be transported to another time. Feel free to let loose with no judgement, pure escape. What happens in Victrola stays in Victrola.
Well, it does have franchise potential. Chuck Bass, I do believe all your years of underage boozing and womanizing have finally paid off. Truly, I am proud.
Well, you are my toughest critic. Well, second toughest.
You know I got moves.
Really? Then why don't you get up there?
I'm just saying I have moves.
Come on, you're ten times hotter than any of those girls.
I know what you're doing, Bass. [Pause] You really don't think I'll go up there.
I know you won't do it.
Guard my drink.
[On the phone] Hi, this is Blair Waldorf, I was wondering if any of the pieces I put on hold today were picked up. The diamond necklace. Okay, thank you. [Looking up at the ceiling] Thank you, thank you!
May I remind you that it was your own rash actions that got us into this predicament.
We're in this predicament because Dad has a drug problem. I was trying to help him.
Then help him.
[About his mom] She wants me to give Blair her ring.
What? You guys broke up.
Yeah, I know. I mean, wait, how did you know?
Predictably, your ex ran the old, uh, grill-the-best-friend play.
Whoever thought monarchy was dead didn't realize it just changed zip codes. So, what will it be, Nate? Blair Waldorf's hand or your father's head?
Something as beautiful deserves to be seen on someone worthy of its beauty.
Blair, stop. You can talk to me.
[Crying] We ended it. I wanted to tell you, but a part of me thought that if I didn't say it out loud, then it wouldn't be true. It was my birthday wish for us to get back together, but now, I think it's really over.
Speak of the devil and he doth appear -- wearing his trademark scarf. Careful, B, hell hath no fury like a Chuck Bass scorned.
Forgive me, Father, for I have sinned. It's been...awhile since my last confession.
What troubles you, my child?
[Sighs] After being broken up with my boyfriend for exactly twenty minutes, I succumbed to inebriation, performed at a Speak-Easy, and surrendered my virtue to a self-absorbed ass. The only good news is that he's a total pig who'll act like it never happened, thank God.
Ahem.
Sorry. Truthfully, I'm not even Catholic.
[Sarcastically] You don't say?
But losing my virginity to Chuck Bass? None of my friends will ever understand. I'm ready for my punishment. Whatever you and God think is fair. Flogging, fasting, putting that thing with the teeth around my thigh like Silas.
How about some food for thought instead? Don't drink, keep your clothes on, try avoiding those who might cause you to stray.
Oh, I plan to. Thank you, Father. That was very good advice. [Gets up to leave but comes back] You don't grant birthday wishes, do you?
I'm a priest, not a genie.
Well, the next time you talk to Him, would you ask Him to send my boyfriend back to me?
Where's the girl?
In my dreams, I was trying to get some shuteye. What's on your mind?
It's my mom.
Sounds Freudian.
She wants me to give Blair her ring.
What? You guys broke up.
Yeah, I know. I mean, wait, how did you know?
Predictably, your ex ran the old, uh, grill-the-best-friend play. Tried to find out where your head was at. So uh...where is your head?
Spinning. I mean, my mom wants me to get back with Blair so Eleanor won't pull out of their business deal. It's all cause of my dad's whole trial thing, you know?
Hey, I'm sorry about all that. But look, if you're done with Blair, be done. Don't cave to your parents wishes if they're not your desires.
Excuse me? Where's my boy? Seal the deal, tap that ass? Money marries bigger money?
Look, I care about three things Nathaniel. Money, the pleasures money brings me and you. I'm just trying to have your back here. Your parents have been controlling you your whole life, if it doesn't end now, when will it ever?
Are you ready for your present? [Blair pulls his hair] Ow! If you wanted to play rough all you had to do was ask.
[Lets go of Chuck's hair] You nauseate me.
All this talk about how you have to be with Nate or the world will end, face it. It's over.
You sound like a jealous boyfriend.
Yeah, right. You wish.
[Thinks and then lets out a laugh] No... You wish.
Please, you're forgetting who you're talking to.
So do you. Do you...like me?
[Pauses] Define like.
You've got to be kidding. I do not believe this.
How do you think I feel? I haven't slept, I feel sick, like there's something in my stomach. Fluttering.
Butterflies? [Chuck looks horrified] Oh no, no, no, no, this is not happening.
Believe me, no one is more surprised or ashamed than I am.
Chuck, you know that I adore all of God's creatures and the metaphors they inspire. But those butterflies, have got to be murdered.
Fine, it wasn't that great anyway.
Mom is such a hypocrite. And all these years, she's been riding me about my behavior.
And here, she's just mad at you for being her.
And all this time my dad has been giving me advice based on a girl he dated...a girl "a lot like Serena".
Her mom.
If you think about it, it makes total sense that your mom was a groupie. I mean, only a woman that had completely satisfied her sexual appetite in her youth would ever marry your step dads.
Blair, can we not talk about my mom's appetite?
No, or who satisfied her.
That's just...
Gross!
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Gossip Girl pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.
