Okay guys, I've got one word for you.
Is it love? I'm totally going to graduate now!
S2 E12Silly Love Songs
And just like a famous athlete I want to give to a charity. You guys. So I'm setting up a kissing booth for a dollar a smooch and donating the proceeds to glee club to help us-
Don't even act like you want to help this glee club out. You just want to kiss a bunch of girls.
I've kissed him, and can I just say? Not worth the buck. I would, however, pay a hundred dollars to jiggle one of his man boobs.
Do you ever get tired tearing other people down?
No, not really.
'Cause you always seemed to be meddling in everyone else's business.
Oh please. You guys love me. I keep it real and I'm hilarious.
Actually, you're just a bitch.
[Everyone laughs and gasps in shock.]
[turns to Lauren] Whoa! Okay, I'm sorry. You just got eyes for my man.
PPuck
Okay, first of all, I'm not your man.
And Finn is right. All you ever do is insult us. Three weeks ago, you said you were disappointed that I didn't have a lizard baby.
Five minutes ago, you said Mr. Schue belonged into a twelve step program.
Wait, what?
You're addicted to vests.
The truth is, Santana, you can dish it out but you can't take it. Okay maybe you're right. Maybe I'm destined to play the title role in the Broadway musical of Willow, but the only job you're gonna have is working on a pole.
[Everyone gasps.]
Fine. [gets up and leaves]
Santana.
[comforting Santana] Maybe try rocking back and forth. People do that in movies.
[crying] No 'cause I just try to be really, really honest with people but I think that they suck, you know?
Yeah.
No one gets it.
Brush and floss time. Gotta keep up the oral hygiene if I'm gonna satisfy all of you.
If he and I got married, the Gap would give me a 50 percent discount.
JJeremiah
No one here knows I'm gay.
Can I be honest? Just with the hair, I think they do.
JJeremiah
Blaine, let's just be clear here. You and I got coffee twice, we're not dating. If we were I'd get arrested, considering your age.
I spell woman Z-I-Z-E-S.
I'm pretty, but I ain't dumb.
That's my man and his legs don't work!
Tenderoni!
I'm so in love I may just start crying. [kisses Mike]
I won't tell Lauren to look out for poachers who might might mistake her for the endangered white rhino.
I heard that. Don't make me rip that weave off your head.
Hello, Lauren. You are a beautiful person.
Thank you.
Now get out of the way, please. Afores I ends you.
You don't want to push me.
You see, I sorta do. I'm from a part of town called Lima Heights adjacent. You know where that is, Poppin' Fresh? It's on the wrong side of the tracks. [flicks her hand at Lauren's shoulder]
That's how we do it in Lima Heights!
So, it's just like 'When Harry Met Sally'. But I get to play Meg Ryan.
Deal. [pauses] Don't they get together in the end?
[smiles and ignores the question]
[piggy back rides Mike and nibbling his ear]
[laughing]
[voiceover] How is this possible? I'm the hottest piece of action in this school, and here I am, on Valentine's and single. Whatever. I'll just marry an NFL player. They're super reliable.
[smirking at Finn]
[smiling back at Quinn]
Wait, that's weird. Quinn has that queen bitch smirk on her face and Finn only has that gassy infant look when he feels guilty about something. [gasps] Holy sweet hell. They're fooling around! I know what cheating looks like! I do it all the time. [chuckles]
I've always loved volunteering at the local hospital, and not just because of the sexy candy stripper outfit. Giving back is so important.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Glee pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.