Glee · Season 2
How the hell did you afford that thing?
I didn't buy it. I didn't know what it was. I thought it was a Transformer.
(turns to Santana) I assumed her dad got it for me but he has no idea. He went to take a long poop and then it was there.
So if no one knew who bought it for you then-
Santa brought it.
Santa.
(nods) Santa.
A real Christmas miracle.
(watching and smiling)
At Will's home:
(enters his home and takes off his scarf and coat and grabs something from his fridge then enters his living room)
Hey Will.
(shocked) How--How did you get in here?
Oh, I had key made ages ago.
(staring in astonishment)
Do you like your tree?
Uh, it's-it's beautiful. What's going on? What's with all the presents?
Well you remember that old meanie who stole of those stuff in the choir room? Well she's sorry.
Really? Well what made her change her mind?
I don't know. Call it a Christmas miracle and we'll leave it at that. Now I know a lot of these gifts are for orphans or something but I got you something special. (gives Will a present) It's okay. It's not going to explode.
(takes the present, opens it and takes out a razor)
I thought you'd like to put us all out of our misery and shave off that Chia Pet.
(smiles) Thanks, Sue. The tree really does look great.
Well Santa had some helpers. (blows her whistle)
(The Glee kids come out)
No one should be alone on Christmas, Mr. Schuester.
Too much talking, lady. Come on, let's get some Christmas up here.
(The Glee club starts decorating the Christmas tree.)
I thought you hated the holidays.
Nah, I just hate you.
Merry Christmas, Sue.
Merry Christmas, Will.
Brittany, please remind me how I single-handedly put cheerleading on the map.
Funny, Karofsy, how you call everyone gay all the time. But you never seem to have a girlfriend.
We're dudes. It's weird. Getting all hot and bothered about singing a Ke$ha song.
Maybe it won't so weird when I go Tik Tok on your face.
I try to make a habit of not touching carnie folk. But, fella, I'll take it.
Do you trust me?
You're not gonna try and kiss me again, are you?
Oh my God. Artie!
[Everyone turns to Artie.]
[wheels into the choir room covered in slushie] It was awful.
[furious] That's it! Screw rehearsal! This ends here and now!
As offended as I am by their presence here, I won't let anything get in the way of a performance.
All right. New Directions, let's give a warm welcome to the newest members of Glee Club.
Oh, hell to the no, Mr. Schue. Are you serious?
Hey, hey. Come on.
Hey.
Mr. Schue, are you serious? These are the guys that made Kurt transfer.
And there's no way that I am sharing the choir room with a known homophobe.
I don't want to die yet. At least not until One Tree Hill gets canceled.
Any of you take German? I may have to read the owner's manual.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Glee pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.
