Glee · Season 1
I'm rich! The old battle-axe was afraid I'd go to the Lima Times, so she shut me up to the tune of two million dollars! So I'm sobering up, and I'm heading to the Broadway, Will. I haven't had a drink in forty-five minutes! I'm going to take my hush money, and I'm gonna mount the first-ever, all-white production of "The Wiz!"
I'm pretty sure my cat's been reading my diary.
Rachel and Jesse refuse to accept that all of us would rather die before we allow them to become the next Beyonce and Jay-Z.
When you start eating for somebody else so that they can grow and be healthy, your relationship to food changes. I realized that if I'm still willing to eat right to take care of this baby, why am I not willing to do it for myself?
April, what happened? Last time I saw you, you were getting cleaned up, headed off to Branson.
I know! It's crazy, right? I was so jazzed about sobering up and starting a new life I had to stop at a bar to get a drink just to calm down!
I'm not going to stand for this anymore. I'm not. I'm putting my foot down and I'm finally sticking up for myself. You're a slut, Will. You're a slut, you're a slut, you're a slut, you're a slut! Everybody should know that and you should know that I'm through with you.
(Finn, Puck and Jesse are shocked after just seeing Rachel's video of 'Run Joey Run' and have found out they were triple cast)
OK, Why don't we all take a moment to absorb what we've just watched.
This is garbage!
Finn!
No, he's right. First of all, I need to trust my instincts more, because I had a feeling when we were shooting it that it was not going to be good.
Why didn't you tell me they were in this, too? I thought you and I were going out! Being triple-cast with two other guys to play opposite your girlfriend - it's mortifying.
It was an artistic statement.
No it wasn't! It was you trying to look like you had a bunch of guys fighting over you, so you could stop looking like some kind of outcast and be seen as some hot, slutty girl singer! (He walks up to her) How could you do this to me? To all us guys? Is your reputation more important than all your relationships? (Finn walks out, followed by Jesse)
Jesse, wait!
A bad reputation is better than no reputation at all.
You're a really good teacher, Mr. Schue. Even if everyone is calling you a man-whore.
[seeing Puck without his mohawk for the first time] Who is that guy?
You're like a toddler with a loose lid on his sippy cup. No more juice. Get ready for payback, Puckerman.
I'm human garbage. I should just lie here until the truck comes and let it crush me to death. What's the point of living when I suck so bad?
Get ready, black girl from Glee Club whose name I can't remember right now; the Puckster is about to make you his.
I feel like that guy who lost all his hair and then lost all his strength.
Samson?
Agassi.
Rachel, I'm afraid you'll never sing again.
[Rachel gasps]
Just kidding.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Glee pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.
