Rory quotes from Glee

Come on, guys! Why, just last week, three Fort Wayne gymnasts had to have their junk amputated!

I stopped washing down there 'cause it seemed kind of gay.

Rory

I thought that's what the hair was for: catching the dirt.

Finn

Huh, lift and scrub. Who knew it was so easy?

Kurt

I'm looking forward to watching my dad make a difference in Congress.

Rachel

I'm looking forward to being friends with all of you for the rest of my life.

Rory

I know this sounds silly but the peanut butter really is amazing, Mr. Schue. Do you know what I'm looking forward to? Winning at Regionals.

Finn

All right, everyone, listen carefully. Puck's scheduled to arrive at the Schneider's pool at 2:00 p.m., which means he should be there at 3:30. Sam, you're the driver, so stay in the car.

Sam

Well, can I play with the radio?

Finn

Rory, you're on lookout here.

Rory

Who am I looking out for? I mean, besides Puck?

Finn

Blaine, Mike and myself will triangulate a very carefully planned attack on Puck here, here and here.

Blaine

Is that a bear I'm hiding behind?

Finn

No, no, it's a bush.

Blaine

Looks like a bear.

Finn

But it's not a bear. It's a bush.

Rory

Maybe a shrub.

Sam

What's the difference between a shrub and a bush?

Artie

What do I do?

Finn

Oh, that's the best part. You're going to be the bait. So, when Puck comes in the gate, you just roll your wheelchair into the pool, and all of a sudden, we...

Finn

Whoa, whoa Tina where are you going?

Tina

You guys don't need me-- carry on.

Rachel

Tina, you don't understand. I need this.

Tina

Because you blew an audition? That's not a reason for you to get a solo at nationals. Maybe the rest of us would like one, too.

Rory

I wouldn't mind having another one before I get deported.

Sugar

I want one even though I can't sing.

Mike

Tina, Rachel's a senior.

Tina

So are you, but you can bet the only thing you'll be doing is a dance break with Brittany. Other people matter.

Will

Tina, you might not always get the solos, but you are a key player. I put you in charge of costumes.

Tina

Wow! like that's some prize. You want props to move around? Well I'm a human prop, and I'm sick of it!

Sue

Take a lap and cool down, Asian Number One.

Tina

My name is Tina. Tina Cohen-Chang!

Sue

Isn't she the one who used to stutter?

Rory

I thought America was all about different, unique people coming together and excepting one another.

Finn

Pretty old brochure, dude.

Rory

Would you? be my friend, Finn?

Finn

Whoa, whoa.

Rory

It would be an honor.

Finn

In America, dudes don't ask dudes to be their friends. Well, except on Facebook, but even that could take years.

[is holding Rory up against a locker by his shirt] Say U2 is overrated!

Rory

Never!