Kurt Hummel quotes from Glee

Finn

Dude, why didn't you just tell us you wanted to pray in Muslim?

I'm not Muslim, I'm Sikh.

Kurt

She's gonna see if acupuncture will improve the circulation to my dad's brain. Amazingly needles pierce the skin better than psalms.... Can you all please leave now?

Rachel

[leaving] We just wanted to do something.

Blaine

What happens when the Pope dies?

Kurt

Heaven, you'd think.

Kurt

He's on Team Gay. No straight boy dyes his hair to look like Linda Evangelista circa 1993.

Mercedes

You're crazy circa 2010.

Sam

Aren't duets supposed to be like, between a girl and guy?

Kurt

Well, Gene Kelly and Donald O'Connor would protest.

Sam

Who?

Kurt

Make'em Laugh? Singing in the Rain?

Sam

[looks confused] Sorry.

Kurt

1952? Nothing? Okay, maybe you are straight.

Finn

You can't do this to him.

Kurt

You're overreacting.

Finn

If he sings with you, you're painting a bull's eye on his back.

Kurt

Once again your closeted homophobia seeps in the surface on the contents of a cracked cesspool.

Finn

Don't give me that. I know I shouldn't have used that word in your basement but it's not like you were innocent. I really like you Kurt. But the fact of the matter is, the way you were all over me last year - if I did that to a girl, she'd take out a restraining order.

Kurt

You have issues with me being gay, I get it.

Finn

No, actually, I don't. I have issues with the fact that you don't understand that no means no.

Kurt

I just want to sing with him.

Kurt

Dad, you have no idea what it's like. I'm the only openly gay kid at school, in this town. Why can't I walk hand in hand down the hall with a person that I like? Why can't I slow-dance at my prom?

Burt

Come here. You think I don't want those things for you? I do. You know, until you find somebody as open and as brave as you, you're just gonna have to get used to go in it alone.

Rachel

Hey, I have something I want to talk to you about.

Kurt

Please, not another pregnancy.

Rachel

I think you and I are a little more similar than you might think.

Kurt

That's a terrible thing to say.

Rachel

I know you are lonely.

Kurt

[stopped moving for a moment]

Rachel

I can't even imagine how hard it must be to have feelings in high school that you can't act on for fear or being humiliated or ridiculed or worse. We're gonna win nationals this year, and you know how we're gonnna do that?

Kurt

... ?

Rachel

Because we have you.

Kurt

That's true...

Rachel

That's 12 people who love you just for being exactly the way that you are. Look, I know you're lonely, but you're not alone. So, I was wondering if you would may be want to sing a duet with me, I think you'll be really happy with my song selection. It's sort of everything that both you and I love.

Kurt

But the duet competition is over.

Rachel

I know. I thought this one could be for me and you.

Kurt

You know they make shampoo for color treated hair.

Sam

I don't dye my hair!

Kurt

Uh-huh.

Kurt

So what are you going to be for Halloween this year?

Brittany

I'm going as a peanut allergy.

Kurt

There is no way I'm playing a transvestite in high heels and fishnets and wearing lipstick.

Santana

Why, cause that look was last season?

Will

Is there anything that I could do?

Kurt

No. This is my hill to climb alone.

Will

Can I be honest? I think it's getting to you. Usually this stuff rolls right off your back. But lately you've been belligerent, angry, pushing people away.

Kurt

Can I be honest with you? You, like everyone else at this school, are too quick to let homophobia slide. And your lessons plans are boring and repetitive. Boys versus girls? That doesn't challenging any of us.

Will

You mean because I didn't let you join the girls like you wanted.

Kurt

To answer your question, yes, I'm unhappy. And yes, being the only out gay kid at this school gets me down. But most of all, I'm not challenged in the least here.

Kurt

The Fury?

That's the name of my fist.

Kurt

Well, with that level of creativity you could easily become assistant manager of a rendering plant.

Kurt

What exactly going on?

Blaine

The Warblers. Every now and then they throw an impromptu performance in the senior commons. It tends the school shut down for a while.

Kurt

Wait. The Glee Club here is kind of cool?

Blaine

The Warblers are like rock stars.

Kurt

[opens his eyes wide]

Blaine

Come on. I know a shortcut. [took Kurt's hand and started to run]

Kurt

It's very civilized for you to invited me for coffee before you beat me up for spying.

We are not going to beat you up.

You were such a terrible spy, we thought it was sort of endearing.

Blaine

Which made me think that spying on us wasn't really the reason you came.

Kurt

[smiled awkwardly] Can I ask guys a question?...Are you guys all gay?

[bursted into laughter. Kurt showed upset look for a moment]

Blaine

No...I mean, I am, but these two have girlfriends.

This is not a gay school. We just have a zero - tolerance harassment policy.

Everyone gets treated the same, no matter what they are. It's pretty simple.

Kurt

[tried to say something but couldn't]

Blaine

[looking at Kurt for a while] Would you guys excuse us?

Yeah, take it easy, Kurt.

Blaine

I take it you're having trouble at school.

Kurt

I'm the only person out of the closet at my school. And I tried to stay strong about it..but there's this Neanderthal who's made it his mission to make my life a living hell - and no one seems to notice.

Blaine

I know how you feel. I got taunted at my old school, and it really – it pissed me off.