I don't wanna have to worry about that kind of stuff in my own room, man!
KurtAnd what "stuff" are you referring to?
You know what I'm talking about. Don't play dumb. Well, can't you just accept that I'm not like you?
Kurt
I have accepted that.
No, you haven't. You think I don't see the way you stare at me, how flirty you get? You think I don't know why yow got so excited that we were gonna be moving in together?
Kurt
It's just a room, Finn! We can redecorate if you want to!
Okay, good. Well then the first thing that needs to go is that faggy lamp. And then we need to get rid of this faggy couch cover…
(coming downstairs) Hey! What did you just call him?
Oh, no, no, I didn't call him anything. I was just talking to the blanket.
If you use that word, you're talking about him.
Kurt
Relax, Dad. I didn't take it that way.
Yeah, that's because you're 16 and you still assume the best in people. You live a few years, you start seeing the hate in people's hearts. Even the best people. (to Finn) You use the "N" word?
How about "retard"? You call that nice girl in Cheerios with Kurt, you call her a retard?
Becky-no. She's my friend, she's got Down syndrome. I'd never call her that. That's cruel.
But you think it's okay to come into my house and say "faggy"?
I know what you meant! What, you think I didn't use that word when I was your age? You know, some kid gets clocked in practice, we'd tell him to stop being such a fag. Shake it off. We meant it exactly the way you meant it. That being gay is wrong. That it's some kind of punishable offense. I really thought you were different, Finn. You know, I thought that being in Glee Club and being raised by your mom meant that you were some, you know, new generation of dude who saw things differently. Who just kind of, you know, came into the world knowing what has taken me years of struggling to figure out. I guess I was wrong. I'm sorry Finn, but you can't - you can't stay here.
Kurt
(softly) Dad!
I love your mom and maybe this is gonna cost me her. But my family comes first. I can't have that kind of poison around here. (to Kurt) This is our home, Kurt. (to Finn) He is my son. Out in the world, you do what you want; not under my roof.
Besides creeping us out, why are you telling us this?
If we lose to Vocal Adrenaline at regionals, none of us are gonna regret it. We will have given it our best shot and we won't look back. But we will regret letting them get the best of us before the competition, which is why we need to hit them back just like they hit us.
So you want us to T.P their choir room?
Whatever the better, cooler version of that is, like, uh- maybe... maybe we should steal their school statue.
Kurt
Their school statue is a giant bronze of a great white shark eating a seal pup. It weighs three tons.
We're on our way to go all Braveheart on Vocal Adrenaline.
Guys, violence is never the answer.
It is when the question is, "What's the best way to mess up that Jesse kid's face?"
Kurt
Mr. Schue, Rachel is one of us. We're the only ones who get to humiliate her.
Stop! Get back here and sit down! Look, I know from experience that making someone else suffer doesn't make your pain go away. You're all amazing, no matter what Vocal Adrenaline says or does. We just need to find a way to remind ourselves of that.
We can't just let Vocal Adrenaline get away with turning Rachel into an omelette.
We're not. Rachel, dial Jesse's number on your phone.
You still have his number?
Jesse St. James? Will Schuester here. You and Vocal Adrenaline need to meet at our auditorium Friday, 3:00 sharp. [hangs up]
When will you glee clubbers ...
Kurt
I don't know.
... accept the fact that people hate you ...
Kurt
Kiss it, Jacob.
... and think you're nothing but a glorified ...
Kurt
Go away, go away.
Jacob: ...karaoke club designed to make the inventors of AutoTune millions of dollars?
Kurt
You know what Jacob? It doesn't take much courage for people to park their cottage cheese behinds in their Barkaloungers and log onto the Internet and start tearing people down, does it. But you know what does take some courage? Standing up and singing about something. So here's a message for everyone that reads your blog. Next time, instead of posting an anonymous comment online, say what you have to say TO MY FACE!!
[throws slushie in Kurt's face] Welcome back, Lady!
Kurt
[to Jacob] I don't suppose you could just cut out that last part, is there?
I don't want to do Britney.
Kurt
Why no Britney, Brittany?
Because my name is also Britney Spears.
[Everyone looks at her.]
What the hell is she talking about?
My middle name is Susan. My last name is Pierce, which makes me Brittany S. Pierce. Brittany Spierce.
I'd like to dedicate this song to my boyfriend, Finn. I was wrong, I shouldn't try to control you. I've just, I've never been this happy before. And I realize that I was trying to hold on to how you were making me feel so much that I was strangling you in my hands like a little bird. I get now that in order for this relationship to work, I have to open up my hands and let you fly free.
Kurt
Really?
Wait, I thought I was the only one getting the solos from now on. Next week I'm going to be performing a musical number by Ke$ha.
Hey, don't forget, Friday night dinner is 6:00 instead of 7:00 this week. Carole and Finn are coming over.. and she has to work the night shift.
Kurt
I-I can't do this Friday. They have sing-along Sound of Music at the El Royale Theater, it's a once- a-year event.
And last week you had to camp out early so you could be first in line for those Grey's Anatomy DVDs.
Kurt
SEASON SIX, Dad.
Those Friday night dinners are ritual in our family - one your mom started.
Kurt
I know, but I'm a teenager. Friday nights are kind of important to me. Why are you making me feel guilty about this?
Hey Kurt, we're really sorry about your dad's heart attack.
I did a book report on heart attacks, if you want to give it to the doctor. I got knocked down an entire letter grade 'cause it was written in crayon.
[Entering] What the hell happened?
Kurt
My dad's in the hospital.
I know. My mom just called me. I feel I'm the last one to know.
Kurt
I'm sorry Finn, but it didn't occur to me to call you because he's not your father.
Yeah, well, he's the closest person I'm ever going to get, okay? I don't know what it looks like to everyone else, but I thought we were sort of family. Look, I guess I just didn't like overhearing other people talking about it in gym class.
Kurt
Thank you Mercedes. Your voice is stunning but I don't believe in God... You've all professed your beliefs, I'm just stating mine. I think God is kind of like Santa Claus for adults. Otherwise, God is kind of a jerk, isn't he? I mean, he makes me gay and then he has his followers going around telling me it's something that I chose. As if someone would choose to be mocked every single day of their life. And right now I don't want a heavenly father, I want my real one back.
Look, Kurt, how do you know for sure? I mean, you can't prove that there's no God.
Kurt
You can't prove that there isn't a magic tea pot floating around on the dark side of the moon, with a dwarf inside of it that reads romance novels and shoots lightning out of its boobs, but it seems pretty unlikely, doesn't it?
We shouldn't be talking like this. It's not right.
Kurt
I'm sorry Quinn. But all you can believe whatever you want to, but I can't believe something I don't. I appreciate your thought, but I don't want?your prayers.
Kurt
They say his condition is critical but stable. Good news, I guess.
I'm sorry for what you're going through, Lady. I wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy, and I guess I don't have to--I think Mary Lou Retton's, like, an orphan or something. I don't like what Schuester doing in that classroom even more than usual, but I can't go the school board without an official compliant from a student.
Kurt
So you want me to be your scapegoat?
You don't understand…I know at times I was around with you guys for fun. I admit it-it aids digestion. But I'm not joking here. I want to be your champion.
I hope you're happy, Kurt.
Kurt
Having the week of my life, actually.
Guys, back off Kurt, okay? He had every right to speak his mind.
Look, Kurt, we're sympathetic to what you're going through but siding with Miss Sylvester isn't gonna do anyone any good.
Kurt
It's doing me some good. Now I don't have to sit around listening to all you mental patients talk about how's there's a God when I know there isn't one.
Glee · 1,090 quotes
