You may still be young, kiddo, but remember to think about the consequences before you do anything. Life's pretty long, you know.
I don't want no advice from a loser like you. [starts to leave] See ya, good-for-nothing old fart [maru de dame na ossan]. Or madao, to shorten it. C'mon, Sadaharu.
[Sadaharu pounces on Kagura, but she kicks him away.]
[a man in the waiting room for a job interview lights his cigarette and accidentally sets his hair on fire.]
Hey, hey! You're burning, you're burning!
Yeah. The desire for responsibility is burning inside of me.
That's not it! Your head is in flames!
Oh? Eh... [notices the fire] Aaaaahhh! [spins around in panic] What'll I do?! What'll I do?!
Mr. Shoji Gindo? It's time for your interview-- [sudden deep voice] He's on fire!
[standing straight, nervously] I promise to put my burning passion in my work for this company starting now!!
You're not employed yet!!! [splashes the man with water]
[Hasegawa has recognized an old working partner in his job interview.]
Well, well, since you work for this company, I suppose I can get relieved. So, for old times' sake, wouldn't you have some nice job there? [gets stomped on the head]
Is that for real??
Wh-what? Onishi-kun!
Damn you, Hasegawa! Am I supposed to deal with you like you used to deal with me? [flashbacks show Hasegawa beating Onishi up]
No... That-those were superior orders--
Shut the fuck up! If you wanna work here, you should take me as a role model and lose the beard, dickhead!
My-my beard?!
And while you're at it, take off those shades too!
No! Leave the shades alone!
So you want a job, but you don't wanna sacrifice yourself for it? I get it. You're really the old-timer kind [maji de dassai oyaji] - in short, a madao.
[Hasegawa gets angry and beats Onishi up.]
[Hasegawa remembers other job interviews he had later.]
Can't you do anything about that hairdo and the shades? They make you seem like an old guy with a taste for old stuff [massa ni datsuou na oji-san], in other words, a madao.
Your breath's bad and the shades are a bit... Gee, they make you seem like a depraved old fart [mattaku, darakushite ossan], or a madao, if we abbreviate.
Wherever I went, it was "madao" this, "madao" that. [he then remembers being at a soba stand]
Hey, old guy? What the hell's with this horrible bean soup [mazui dashi to oage]? Or madao for short?
Shut it!!! [Hasegawa knocks the man out.] What the hell's wrong with being a madao?!
Hey mister, we're closing.
Aah, can't you let me drink just a bit more? I wanna find a place where I can stay away from the reality that suffocates me.
I just hope you don't puke out whatever's suffocating you, 'cause it's probably something you ate. And take off those sunglasses, or you'll catch a cold.
Shaddup! I'm okay.
What are you saying? You're obviously not okay, mister [mattaku daijobu ja nai okyaku] - shortening, madao.
People with such unfriendly attitude is known around here as "men that nobody would like to date" [matomo ni dakaretakunai otoko], or more abbreviatedly, madao, sir.
[popping up suddenly] HOLD ON!!! What's the meaning of this??? So if a man is friendly, it's a man who Otae-san would really like to date [maji de dakaetai otoko], or in short, a madao-- [gets knocked out by a tray thrown by Otae at his face].
[Katsura, dressed as a Buddhist monk, passes by a washed-out Hasegawa.]
Mister, please wait a second.
What do you want from me, monk?
It's not monk; it's Katsura. This may be a bit sudden, but how would you like to hold up your sword and forge a new future for Japan?
What the hell are you saying so early in the-- [a rocket explodes next to them.]
We'd better run for now. [fleeing from the Shinsengumi]
Wh-what's that mean, brother?
It's not brother! It's Katsura!!!
[Hijikata and Okita are interrogating Hasegawa.]
I'm telling you, I'm a former agent of the Alien Affairs Bureau! Hasegawa! Check your records and you'll see!
Make up some believable lies at least.
It's true, damnit!
Well, I guess we'll have to strip you naked to find out.
You know, you're just an idiot who can't fool anyone [mattaku damasenai otoboke]. Abbreviating, a madao.
Now get stripped!
[narrating] In the end, wherever I went, I was a madao.
You idiot! Don't blame all of your problems on your shades! It's the same as tripping in the middle of the street and blaming the pebbles!
Hey old man, make him [Hasegawa] something his Mama would make.
How should I know what it is?
When I say "something Mama would make", I meant some digestive biscuits! Ain't that obvious?
What kind of mother's that?!
[boarding Hasegawa's taxi] You see that guy in the tuxedo? The one who seems to be looking down on people? Hit him with enough force not to kill him, please.
I'm so bored... Can you make the ride for free?
Stop joking around. I'm making a living off of this.
Whatever. Just take me past the horizon.
What are you, my bride?
[Hasegawa starts the car.]
So, how's the new job?
It was fine until you came around.
Not long before you were at the gates of death. Now you're looking way better.
Stop bothering me. Nothing's changed. I've got a new job, but no purpose in life. I still can't see anything ahead of me.
Well, ain't that the same for everyone? If you look for it persistently, soon you'll find it.
Nah, I don't think so. You and me are the only demotivated people in this anime.
[Hasegawa decides to turn back to get a doctor for a woman in labor.]
You've got to be kidding me!!! First you tear off my lure, and now you want to return?! Are you serious?! I have to see a panda today, no matter what!!!
C'mon now, you'd rather see a panda than helping Earthl people out? A human baby's pretty cute, you know.
What do I care?!? Why should I feel anything for a bunch of malnourished, rancid monkeys?! Why should I give a damn to what happens to one or two human babies? Just who do you think I am?!!
[grabbing the Prince by his face] Who do you think you are? You're just an agent.
You'd better stop. What do you think you're doing to the Prince, you bastard? [Gintoki glares at him.] I see, Your Highness. You'll be glad to see a panda, right? Now that I remember, there's one close by.
Eh? Really? Where?
Just look in a mirror in the morning!!! [punches the Prince through the rear window.]
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Gin Tama pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.
