Okita quotes from Gin Tama

Okita

[boarding Hasegawa's taxi] You see that guy in the tuxedo? The one who seems to be looking down on people? Hit him with enough force not to kill him, please.

Okita

Goodbye, vice captain. Why don’t you suck on some mayonnaise in the afterlife? [he shoots, blowing up the whole wall]

Hijikata

[straightening up from being bent down] Oi Sougo, just what do you think you’re doing? ARE YOU TRYING TO KILL ME?

Okita

Oh, no. It was just a joke. A joke! I’m always doing it, aren’t I?

Hijikata

You’re always trying to kill me?

Hijikata

Territorial law, huh?

Kondo

Dammit! [looks at Hijikata] But…what’s territorial law?

If you really want to get into the house, then come back with the proper paperwork.

Wahahaha!

Kondo

[to Okita] Hey, what are you doing?

Okita

[aiming for the house with his bazooka] Well, if this house no longer exists, we can go inside, right?

Hijikata

Who are you? Ikkyuu-san?

Hijikata

Hey, wake up, Okita! How could you sleep through that blast there?

Okita

You mean that we failed again to prevent a bombing? What are you doing, Hijikata-san? You should take this job more seriously.

Hijikata

Shall I put you to sleep, ingrate?

Okita

Watch out, Hijikata. [shoots his bazooka] Are you alive, Hijikata-san?

Hijikata

You idiot, are you trying to kill me?!

Okita

Damn, missed again, huh?

Hijikata

Missed?! What the hell do you mean, ‘missed’?!

Okita

Come on out. We’ll seriously fire here. Hijikata-san, if we don’t hurry, we’re going to miss our TV drama reruns.

Hijikata

Crap. I forgot to set the VCR. We’d better hurry up here. Prepare to fire!

Hijikata

Hurry up! We’ve still got time!

TV drama reruns!

Okita

We just made it.

Hijikata

Ok.

We interrupt this broadcast for a special report….

Uwaaa!!!!

Okita

Sensei? Kagura, the A student, is eating her lunch early and holding up her wiener like a trophy.

Kagura

I’m not eating early. In my country, we always ate hot dogs during class.

Gintoki

Then go home. All right then, back to work.

Okita

Speaking of Kondo-san, I haven't seen him around today either. Is he sick or something?

Hijikata

You'll be sick if you keep this up!

Hijikata

[to a car] Hey you, who gave you permission to change direction? Get back here! Don't run away from me!! [draws his sword]

Okita

Well Hijikata-san. Your reach is too short. So let me take care of this one.

Hijikata

Take care of it how?! [Okita blows a hole in the street with his bazooka]

Okita

Oh, you really did it this time.

Hijikata

What do you mean, 'I did it', you invertebrate?! [starts slashing at Okita, who dodges every strike nonchalantly]

Okita

Hijikata-san, can I cut him?

Hijikata

Well, wait a bit. The cameras are rolling so wait until he turns violent.

Hijikata

There’s no way Kondo-san lost. Who’s been spreading that ridiculous rumor?

Captain Okita! He broadcast it over the loudspeaker.

Okita

I heard it from Hijikata-san.

Hijikata

I suppose I shouldn’t have told him…

Hijikata

I’ll take care of him before this gets any bigger.

Okita

If you do it yourself, there’ll be trouble. The government’s not supposed to assassinate people…

Hijikata

It’s not an assassination. I’m going to fight him fair and square.

Okita

But if you find a silver-headed samurai and bring him to HQ, I think the others will be satisfied. How about this guy? [picks an old guy] Come on, hold your wooden sword…

Hijikata

Hey old man, use that to knock some sense into him, would you?

Okita

Well, Hijikata-san, he might not look like much, but if you take his glasses off…see, he’s like Musashi! [famous swordsman]

Hijikata

Why does he get to look so cool?

Okita

Let’s go home. My show’s about to start.

Hijikata

When did they change the schedule? I thought the drama reruns started at 4…

Okita

Is that right? Well, the drama seems like it’ll end happily…

Hijikata

That’s what you think. [thinking] You’re all smiley and giggly. Your inner calm is disrupted.

Okita

Oh, really?

Hijikata

It’s thanks to him [Kondo] that we Shinsengumi can walk the streets, heads held high. We chose to follow him. Isn’t that right, Sougou?

Okita

[to a tiny dog] Now go, Sadamaru no. 3! Your target is that guy’s ass!

Hijikata

Hey, are you even listening to me?!