Gintoki quotes from Gin Tama

Kagura

What, so we're not going by car? Gin-chan?

Gintoki

And where would we get money for that?

Kagura

Aw, but I've been up all night making this tape! [produces a cassette tape on whose label is written "My Best"]

Gintoki

Just how old are you? You're not a thirty-year-old remembering your first date!

Gintoki

Geez, after you [Otae] looked so high and mighty as if you had a great idea, all you could think about was hitch a ride?

Kagura

I know! I'll make the cars stop with a sexy wink!

Hasegawa

All right! I'll use my beautiful thighs to make them stop! [pulls up his pants]

Shinpachi

You'd better can it, Hasegawa-san. Even if any car stopped, it wouldn't stop to see that.

Gintoki

Dammit, what an useless car.

Kagura

Damn right. To think it couldn't even play a cassette! Useless! Useless!

Shinpachi

I don't think that was the problem.

Otae

Good God, after all the work I had to get us a ride, you had to go and mess it all up...

Gintoki

She talks as if she had stopped that car all by herself.

Shinpachi

Wh-what is this?

Kagura

Oh! I heard that non-boiled water is poison for the body.

Shinpachi

W-water, please...

Gintoki

Are you pretending to be a defeated boxer? 'Cause if you are, it's not funny when you do it here. Different from saying that you're feeling hot when it's hot, it's pointless to do that, you know?

Gintoki

[to the beach vendor who offered the reward on the sea monster] So you said that jokingly, while you were drunk? Look, old man, this is about my living. I'm very serious when it comes to that. A man should be responsible, even when joking. A man should keep his promises.

Wait! Calm down! I'll pay! I've got the money here!

Kagura

Don't lie. If you can't fry your yakisoba properly, then you might not have enough money to pay us. Your life must be pretty messed up, uh? Say it with me: "messed up"! [eats another handful of yakisoba] Yeah, messed up!

Hey! Who told you to eat my merchandise?

Hasegawa

In a deserted beach, with a monster and three "beach samurai" on it... [sits up] If we can't protect the sea, then who can? When you're feeling down, how do you do to feel better? You can say there's two kinds of things men do to feel better: [takes a smoke from his cigarette. Gintoki and Shinpachi stare, uninterested] One is looking at someone who's feeling worse to make sure he's alright. The other is looking at something much bigger to see his problems are meaningless. I belong to the second kind. [flashback] Whenever I find myself in hard times, I look at the sea to remember how meaningless I am. [another flashback, Hasegawa is pissing from a cliff over the sea as a woman looks on in embarrassment] It was also looking at the sea that I met my wife, Hatsu. Do you understand? The sea is both book and teacher to me. Everybody has a place closer to their hearts. Even if I keep changing jobs, my heart will stay here. Work is just a little something that helps me live through the days. But it's got nothing to do with money. That's what I was born for. Can you guys understand this feeling?

Shinpachi

Is that true, sister?

Otae

Yes, I talked to the city officers, and they said they will reward us if we can get rid of the alien.

Hasegawa

Hey, are you listening to--

Gintoki

Well then, let's just do that.

Hasegawa

Hey, how about my feel--

Gintoki

Okay, let's go.

[crucified in the middle of the sea] Let me go! My legs are getting soaked here! I'm getting all wrinkled here! Please don't do it!

Gintoki

[bored] The bait isn't working.

Shinpachi

[bored] Maybe it's not even in this sea anymore. [yawns]

Hasegawa

[after he sees the sea monster coming] Hey guys, run away! It's a double punch! Two dangerous things are going your way!

Gintoki

What's he saying?

Shinpachi

"Double pants"? I wonder if he forgot to bring an extra pair of pants? (in Japanese, daburu pantsu - "double panties")

Gintoki

I can't swim fast enough!!! [Shinpachi swims past him] Oi! Hold on, Shinpachi! [grabbing on to the strap of Shinpachi's swimming goggles] How can you swim so well? that's so unlike you! Weren't you supposed to be the guy who falls for everything but traps? Huh?!

Shinpachi

Owowowowowow! My eyes are bulging out! My eyes are bulging out!!!

Hasegawa

So that's how it was. Well, maybe it was its love for the sea that influenced it.

Gintoki

Men don't need to speak the same language. They can communicate on a spiritual level.

Hasegawa

Even though it looked ugly, on the inside it wasn't. It just wanted to play, I guess. I'm sure of this: every creature of the sea is good. [stands up and starts leaving] When we live close to the sea, the dirt that covers us all is washed away.

Gintoki

Dirt, eh? Somehow, this still looks pretty dirty. [cut to the newspaper Gintoki is reading. There is a story on it about the sea monster playing with kids]. Hmph. So what? [throws the newspaper away]

Hijikata

Who are these guys, a circus troupe?

Kondo

No. We hired them to exorcise the building.

Hijikata

Hey, hey, you gotta be kidding me. These guys look pretty odd...

Kagura

Oh! There's something on your back, sir!

Hijikata

What? What's on my back?

Gintoki

I agree. Looks like he's beyond saving.

Hijikata

Can I kill them, Commander? Can I?

Okita

What kind of spirit could it be, gorilla?

Kondo

It got him too!

Kagura

Well... Factory supervisor.

Gintoki

Yeah, well... It's the spirit of a factory supervisor who died when he was caught on a conveyor belt!

Kondo

Uh... But all our men said they saw a woman.

Shinpachi

He put it wrong. It's the spirit of a woman who committed suicide, and who looked like a factory supervisor who died when he was caught on a conveyor belt!

Hijikata

That's too complicated! Besides, what kind of factory supervisor haunts people?

Yamazaki

Uh, how will you do the exorcism?

Gintoki

By getting rid of you.

Yamazaki

What? Anybody could do that!

Gintoki

Yes! It's in! The spirit's in him now!

Hijikata

The way I see it, it looked more like a body blow than a spirit.

Kagura

[pretending to be the spirit by manipulating Yamazaki's unconscious body] No, you're wrong, I'm in here! Well, everyone, it was entirely my fault that the factory...

Kondo

Heyyy! Isn't that the factory supervisor?!

Kagura

[drops Yamazaki] Ehh, what was it again?

Gintoki

You dummy! It was supposed to be a woman who died on a conveyor belt!

Shinpachi

Why does it have to be a woman who died on a conveyor belt? In a conveyor belt... hmm...

Gintoki

Whatever, we'll just do any woman.

Kagura

No way! It's easy to say "any woman", but it's harder to give her life!

Gintoki

Nobody's gonna care if you're convincing or not!

Kagura

Shut up, mummy-man! Your costume isn't any convincing anyway!

Gintoki

What? It's more mysterious like this!

Shinpachi

Hey, cut that out! We're in the middle of work here, you hear me?