Gintoki quotes from Gin Tama

Shinpachi

We didn't mean no harm. We just wanted a job. Since it's summer, we thought exorcism would be an easier way to make money, so we decided to try our luck in town. Right, Gin-san?

Gintoki

Yeah. You see, I've been able to see ghosts for a long time, so I thought that could be useful. [Okita stands and walks up to him.] Ah! There's an angry old hag standing behind you.

Okita

Really? Then it must be the old hag from the convenience store. She's been mad at me since I tried to claim those popsicle stick prizes, saying that I falsified them. What do I do?

Gintoki

Don't worry. You just need to let us down and throw a pot of water on her, and it'll be alright.

Okita

Yeah, I see. Then I'll dump this down your nose. [pours Coca-Cola into Gintoki's nostrils]

Gintoki

Owowowowowow! What's this?! Seems so familiar! Just like that time I almost drowned in the pool!

Kagura

Gin-chan, I feel like my head's going to explode. Help me.

Gintoki

Oi! This brave girl's head is going to explode! Are you really alright with that? That way, the anime's gonna end!

Okita

[turns to the camera] Coming up next, "The Shinsengumi's Bloody Records". Stay tuned, everyone.

Shinpachi

That means we're done for.

Hijikata

We could cut you up, but we have no time for that right now. Buzz off.

Gintoki

Oh? I think you don't wanna hurt us because you're afraid of ghosts, right?

Kagura

Poor fella, you want me to walk you to the bathroom?

Kondo

Are you mocking the samurai?? [to Kagura] Please, walk me to the bathroom!

Hijikata

You're actually asking them??

Kondo

Actually, I'm so afraid of going to the bathroom I was holding it in.

Hijikata

[talking about the victimized Shinsengumi soldiers] If we had a solid opponent, we'd have no problem facing him. But when it comes to things like these, we get perplexed.

Gintoki

Eh? What? So you do believe in ghosts? [holds his arm in mocking pain] Owowowowow, Mommy! Someone went and broke his head here!

Hijikata

[angry] One of these days, I'm gonna cut you to bits.

Okita

Hijikata-san, you saw her too? The woman in the red kimono?

Hijikata

I don't know, but there's something weird going on here. And that thing's definitely not human.

[mocking Hijikata] Owowowowow, Daddy! [only Okita] Please bring him a bandage. The bigger the better, to cover it all up!

Hijikata

Were you guys rehearsing that?

Kagura

Gorilla, what's wrong? Did you get your skin snagged in the zipper?

Gintoki

Kagura, what's wrong?

Kagura

He got his skin snagged in the zipper.

Hijikata

Out of the way!

Gintoki

How did that happen?

Gintoki

I know. It must be a vision of some woman he made cry.

Hijikata

Kondo-san never made a woman cry.

Gintoki

Then I see. It must've been a woman you made cry who's coming back with a revenge.

Hijikata

I don't recall having dated such an useless woman.

Shinpachi

Could it really be a ghost?

Gintoki

Huh? I refuse to believe in things without scientific basis, like ghosts. Though I do believe in the Continent of Mu.

Okita

Oh, the woman in the red kimono.

Shinpachi

What are you doing, Gin-san?

Gintoki

Uh, well... I thought I saw the portal to the Continent of Mu.

Okita

Hijikata-san, that guy is... Huh?

Okita

Hijikata-san, what are you doing?

Hijikata

Nothing. Just looking for an entrance to the Mayonnaise Kingdom.

Gintoki

Wait, wait, wait! That's wrong! He may be afraid of ghosts, but I'm not!

Hijikata

You're the one who's scared! You probably wanna run home to mommy!

Kagura

Yeah, yeah, we get it. Doesn't matter if it's in the Continent of Mu or in the Mayonnaise Kingdom, just go and look for them.

Gintoki

Seriously, they should stop fooling around.

Hijikata

Those damn brats. [together with Gintoki, as they slowly turn around.] We won't get fooled that easily...

G... good evening...

Hijikata

Hey, why are we running?

Gintoki

Oi, wait a second! Doesn't it seem like your back's getting heavier?

Hijikata

I don't care! I don't care anymore!

Gintoki

Just check it! I'm feeling something heavy!

Hijikata

Shut up! Why don't you go and check it?

Gintoki

You, you gotta help me look! It ain't gonna kill you!

Hijikata

Hold on! How 'bout this? I'll give a sign, and we turn at the same time!

Gintoki

You'd better look too! No treason! You'd better look! [together with Hijikata] One, two... [they skid to a stop and turn around. The woman in the red kimono is still behind them.] G... good evening...

[the former emerges from inside a bush, the latter from the pond in the garden.] Cut that damned buzzing!!! [they then notice each other]

Gintoki

Are you bastard still alive?

Hijikata

You're a flexible cockroach.

Gintoki

Well, now that we're in the water, we should think of a counterattack.

Hijikata

Don't get cocky. I can hear the shiver in your voice. Let me handle this. A chicken like you should crawl back home and rest.

Gintoki

I think you're the coward! I'm sure you just jumped into the pond 'cause your pants were wet!

Hijikata

Why you... You want me to feed you to the ghosts? [the buzz's sound gets louder] I haven't settled the score with you yet! And I see you'll have to compensate me with interest!

Gintoki

Eh? Did I borrow anything from you? [Hijikata getts angrier as the buzzing gets louder] Doesn't matter, I'll give it to you. Besides, I've already bought a new game machine-- [turns to the source of the buzz, together with Hijikata] SHUT UP ALREADY!!! [they see it is the woman in the red kimono, who is flying with mosquito wings, and get scared]