We found that if we kiss each other, we can get anything we want from guys.
Free drinks, food...
T-shirts, boat rides, Frisbees...
Earrings, Seadoos...
Okay. Well, that is a good tip.
Yeah, maybe later I'll pants you for an Altoid.
S4Girls in Bikinis, Boys Doin' the Twist
[Talking on cell phone]: Okay, forget I said "giant Q-tips." They're not hitting each other with giant Q-tips. [Referring to a couple boys fighting with Pugil sticks American Gladiator-style]
But now I can't get giant Q-tips out of my head. It's too powerful a visual.
I know, I'm sorry.
So how is it?
It's good so far.
Yeah, how good?
I haven't had a drink yet.
OK, you sure you weren't drinking and that's why you think they're giant Q-tips?
Um... maybe.
What just happened?
[No response]
You sound distracted, did something cute just walk by?
[on Lorelai’s answering machine] Hey, it’s Luke. I’m sorry to be calling you like this, but I was wondering if when you get this message if you could come pick me up, ’cause I need a ride. I’m in Lichtfield, the corner of Mason and Pine. It’s a big white building, you’ll recognize it by the police sign outside, ’cause oh hell, I’m in jail. Okay, there, I said it. It’s a long story, I’ll tell you when you get here. Thanks, if you come. Oh, one more thing, I need to borrow a little money, 300 bucks, it’s just a loan, oh hell, it’s for my bail.
S4Afterboom
Hello?
Who is this?
This is Lorelai Gilmore.
No, this is Lorelai Gilmore.
Ooh. Gaslight.
So, you have my phone.
Yes, you left it in the kitchen. You know what that means, don't you? You miss Mommy.
Yes, or that the refrigerator was empty, and I ordered food.
Oh, that makes much more sense.
Why didn't you just tell them that you guys were dating?
Oh, come on. You know why. We were going to tell them when the time was right. Of course, I had no idea we were dealing with the Carringtons. All we needed was a swimming pool and some ball gowns to really end the evening right.
This is unbelievable. I leave you people alone for one hour and all hell breaks loose.
How could he do this? How could my father just take the business from you?
Oh, no, no, no. He left me the business, but without the clients, the business consists of some stationery, a coffee maker, and some rubber pencil grips.
I don't understand. Why would my father do that?
Because it's brilliant. It's perfect. He gets my dad to drop the lawsuit, he makes some extra cash, and he's sitting pretty. Makes perfect sense.
Well, I have to work, and he's making it pretty impossible for me to work here. Oh, my God. I'm gonna end up in Houston.
Jason...
Where all the financial wash ups wash up. It's gonna be me and the Enron boys smoking cigars while their ankle cuffs beep in the background.
College is loud!
Yes, it's part of our training. It's right up there with the bad food, the sleep deprivation, and how to hold your own hair while throwing up.
Awww.
S4Luke Can See Her Face
There's a cat on my doorstep.
Well, that's better than a bun in your oven.
...
There are two of them. They're not even easing me into this, those bastards. I give up. I guess I need to start collecting newspapers and magazines, find a blue bathrobe, lose my front teeth.
Well, obviously, you've got a busy day ahead of you, so I'm gonna let you go.
Yarn balls. I need to find some yarn balls!
Bye.
Love!
Jeez!
You want it? You can have it. And not compromised, stifling, soul-killing love, but open, honest, life-affirming love. But how do you get it? How do you get this love?
If I knew that, what the hell would I need you for?
It's going to take work. It's going to take introspection. You're gonna have to learn new things -- how to be your own best friend, how to treat your damaged psyche with a little kindness, how to say, "hey, pal, you're worth it. You mean something to someone, and you deserve love." That is the key. If you crave love, then you deserve love. Say that to yourself. If I crave love, I deserve love. [Luke sighs deeply.] Now, how did that feel coming out? I'll bet it was hard. I'll bet you felt ridiculous. Some of you may even have been incapable of saying it at all. Try again.
I'm not incapable. I just haven't been hit in the head with the Oprah stick lately.
Trust me, my friend -- it will get easier, until one day, you turn around, and you are not alone. Ready to begin the journey? It's going to be one hell of a ride. Okay, let's go. Open up your workbook to page one.
[opens his workbook] It doesn't get lower than this.
Complete the following sentence -- I feel angry because...
I am listening to this tape.
I feel hopeful because...
This tape must end eventually.
I feel helpless because...
I wonder if anyone's ever kicked an audiotape's ass.
Whose phone calls or visits are never unwanted or too long? Do you see her face? Who would you most like to have in your life to ward off moments of loneliness? Do you see her face? When you travel, who would make your travels more enjoyable? Do you see her face? When you're in pain, who would you most like to comfort you? Do you see her face? When something wonderful happens in your life -- a promotion at work, a successful refinancing -- who do you want to share the news with? Do you see her face? Whose face appears to you, my friend? Whose face?
[thinking of Lorelai] Whoa.
TTJ
Not your scene?
Not really.
TTJ
Mine neither. This is for the guys. These days, there's nothing I'd rather do in the world than spoon with your sister. [Luke exhales sharply] Stomach again?
That time, yeah.
S4Last Week's Fights, This Week's Tights
If they're small enough to shove up our son's nose, they're too small!
No way could you shove one of these up Davey's nose.
Bet you five bucks.
Get him in here!
[entering] Hey, guys. You probably shouldn't shove a radish up your son's nose. Just thinking out loud.
Rory, you've had quite the dry spell this year.
I have not had a dry spell.
There's not one picture of you with a guy.
TTanya
Oh, no. No. There's one. See? That's Rory with the statue of Eli Yale.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Gilmore Girls pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.