Lorelai Gilmore quotes from Gilmore Girls

Lorelai

It was a mistake.

Emily

A mistake?! You call that a mistake!?

Lorelai

Well, I tried calling it "Al", but it would only answer to "mistake".

Lorelai

Oh. I want a pet.

Rory

You have me.

Lorelai

You won't bring me my slippers in the morning.

Rory

I might if you had slippers.

Lorelai

Will you wear a collar?

Rory

No.

Lorelai

It'll be pink!

Rory

You're sick.

Sookie

You will not regret this.

Lorelai

Pick another phrase.

Sookie

You will not have to pay.

Lorelai

Much better.

Rory

I do not want to incur the wrath of Luke.

Lorelai

Why not? It's fun!

Lorelai

I have like six thousand pages of case studies to memorize and this whole big test on the Wal-mart phenomena coming up on Friday and because I have a life, and a job and business school's not the only thing I have to concentrate on, I'm behind and I'll probably fail, and then that little eighteen year old annoying gnat who sits behind me will get another A and make that 'I'm smart, you're dumb' face to me for the rest of the week and I'll be very upset and will possibly cry.

Rory

The music's too loud?

Lorelai

Yes.

Rory

Got it.

Lorelai

Hey, you didn't wake me up!

Rory

I set the clock.

Lorelai

The clock stops ringing when you throw it against the wall, giving me ample time to fall back asleep. You, however never shut-up no matter how hard I throw you against the wall, thus ensuring the wake-up process.

Lorelai

Who wants cheese?

Rory

Are there crackers?

Lorelai

Somewhere in the state of Connecticut, yes, there are crackers.

Rory

And in the Gilmore house?

Lorelai

Who wants cheese?

Rory

Did you find our house okay?

Paris

Your street has no sign on it.

Rory

I told you to turn left at the giant rooster statue.

Paris

I thought you were kidding.

Lorelai

No one kids about Monty!

Lorelai

[about donating clothes] There’s nothing to give up.

Rory

The red and black halter top?

Lorelai

Oh, no.

Rory

Why?

Lorelai

Uh, it’s a classic.

Rory

It’s got rhinestones and zebra stripes on it.

Lorelai

So?

Rory

Tassels.

Lorelai

Yes.

Rory

It has tassels, mom.

Lorelai

Okay, I’ve had this since I was 17.

Rory

Okay, I’m sorry, did I mention the tassels?

Rory

Can brains hurt?

Lorelai

Yes, it's hypochondria hour.

Rory

No, I'm serious. Last night when I was reading my biology chapters I distinctly heard a ping in the vicinity of my brain.

Lorelai

Your brain pinged?

Rory

Yeah. It just went like 'dink'.

Lorelai

Well then, honey, your brain dinked. It didn't ping.

Rory

Well I hardly think a dinking brain is better than a pinging brain.

Lorelai

Ok, how about this? I'll help you. I love to paint.

Luke

You do?

Lorelai

Yes, I do.

Luke

You love it?

Lorelai

I want to marry it.

Luke

You have strange passions.

Rory

She likes washing dishes too. She's multi-faceted abnormal.

Taylor

When standards slip, families flee and in comes the seedy crowd. You got trouble, my friends.

Lorelai

Right here in River City!

Taylor

This is not funny, Lorelai.

Rory

Mother-daughter window washing. We should try that.

Lorelai

Yeah, right after mother-daughter shock treatments.

Christopher

Ok look. I’ve been making some changes, especially my career and I think I finally have all my ducks lined up in a row.

Lorelai

You’re opening a shooting gallery.

Christopher

I’ve been tying up loose ends in my life.

Lorelai

Do they make that much string?

Christopher

That was....that was a memorable evening.

Lorelai

Oh yes, it was beautiful in there. We should commemorate it with an oil painting or a severed head or something.