Leela, save me! And yourself, I guess. And my Banjo. [Fry looks at him.] And Fry.
S2Brannigan, Begin Again
NPNeutral President's Aide
Your Neutralness, it's a beige alert.
If I don't survive, tell my wife, "Hello".
S2A Head in the Polls
[In outer space, it involves a stopwatch and an untied shoe]
You're entering the vicinity of an area adjacent to a location. The kind of place where there might be a monster or some kind of weird mirror. [involves a showering man and half-eaten piece of chicken] These are just examples. It could also be something much better. Prepare to enter The Scary Door. [the door opens, revealing the title card itself] As per your request, please find enclosed the last man on earth.
[The man is in a library amongst the bookshelves.]
MMan
Finally, solitude. I can read books for all eternity. [His glasses fall off and break.] It's not fair! It's not fair! Wait, my eyes aren't that bad. I can still read the large print books. [His eyes fall out.] Aaah! It's not f-- Well, lucky I know how to read Braille. [His hands fall off.] Aaaaaaah! [Then his tongue falls out and finally his head comes off.] Hey, look at that weird mirror!
It's not like one vote ever made a difference.
That's not true. The first robot president won by exactly one vote.
Ah, yes! John Quincy Adding Machine. He struck a chord with the voters when he pledged not to go on a killing spree.
But, like most politicians, he promised more than he could deliver.
[about the binary code dream sequence] Whoa, what an awful dream. Ones and zeros everywhere, and I thought I saw a two!
RNRichard Nixon's Head
Look here, you drugged-up communist! I paid for this body, and I'd no sooner return it than my Cocker-Spaniel dog, Checkers.
CSChecker's Head
Arf!
RNRichard Nixon's Head
SHUT UP, DAMMIT!!!
Morbo will now introduce tonight's candidates... Puny human no. 1, puny human no. 2, and Morbo's good friend, Richard Nixon.
RNRichard Nixon's Head
Hello Morbo, how's the family?
Belligerent and numerous.
RNRichard Nixon's Head
Good man. Nixon's pro-war and pro-family. [pulls a live baby out of his chest compartment and kisses it]
BBender (watching television)
Great, first he steals my body, now he's touchin' my stuff!
RNRichard Nixon's Head
Nixon with charisma? My god, I could rule the universe!
RNRichard Nixon's Head
NIXON'S BACK!!
All hail our gargantuan, cyborg president. May death come quickly to his enemies.
Game's over, losers! I have all the money!! Compare your lives to mine and then kill yourselves!
The problem with both parties is they always want to give your tax dollars to the less fortunate.
The less fortunate get all the breaks!
You look different. Did you get a haircut?
No! I sold my body.
Sold your body? Oh, Bender, I've been down that road. I know it's glamorous and the parties are great, but you'll end up spending every dollar you make on jewelry and skintight pants.
JJJack Johnson
It's time for someone who has the courage to stand up and say, I'm against those things that everybody hates!
JJJohn Jackson
Now, I respect my opponent. I think he's a good man. But quite frankly... I agree with everything he just said!
There's a political debate on! Quick, change the channel!
Hey, that's what Fry said when we turned on the debate.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Futurama pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.